Kisah Seorang Aku

- TAMAT -

2006-12-01T11:58:00.000+08:00

Bermula tarikh 1 Dec 2006, blog ini tidak lagi beroperasi. Sekian, harap maklum...

-Penaip Blog-

Open House

2006-11-20T16:32:00.001+08:00

Isnin - 20hb Nov 2006
Situasi: lam opis (taim bos gi miting)
Mood: down giler sbb cirit
Cuaca: kat luar mendung br lepas ujan tapi tu cam nak ujan balik..

jap lagi nak balik.. fuhh.. rasa lambat tul ari nie. sebenornyer aku takde mood nak datang keje. penat semalam lom abih lagi, ngan ngantuknye ya ampun! cam puaka je rase! ..tambah lak ngan aku kena cirit dah 2x gi toilet. mujo member bekalkan pil chikkittek'aun tadi 2 botol. aku bantai pepagi lagi makan sepeket sbb aku tau sure aku kena 'chiker' yakni kena cirit + muntah.. ni aku tak sure sapa lagi yg kena cirit neh.. nie sure sbb makanan semalam.. oleh yg demikian, aku nak citer laa per punca aku jadik cam ari nie..

Open House - 19 Nov 2006, Ahad

para penjemput (tul ke?)

pestaim sepanjang duk kat umah sewa skrg nie dah masuk dkt 6 thn, tak penah lagi kitorg wat open house. kira pestaim nak wat, beria2 lah ajak org tu ajak org nie. alhamdulillah, bajek2 cukup malah leh tapau2 lagi. ada org tanye, menu pe yg kitorg nak wat:

menu open house:
1. nasi briani ayam masak merah - oder
2. pasta goreng - aku gurin sirik
3. nasik himpit kuah kacang - pun aku bantai masak
4. agar-agar - hentam letak gula tapi tak gak manis, aiseh!
5. lemang - member beli

6. buah limau (lam peti es) ngan epal
7. makanan sampingan - saki baki kueh raya

ni lah antara tetamu yg berusaha menghabiskan makanan malah telah makan sebanyak 3-4 raun, nak2 nasik beriani tu. aku rasa kakak tu letak kas-kas lah.. aiseh..tak lama pastu aku pon tebongkang lam bilik duk layan tido ...kuikui..

Besdey YaYa - 18 Nov 2006, Ahad, Apartment Mawar

-> muka lepas kenyang .. alhamdulillah..

sabtu - lepas mengemas2 rumah, kitorg gi umah maya kat apartment mawar.. ni nak sambut besdey si kenik Yaya tu yg masuk 2thn. punyer ler lupe nak print peta, amik nombo empon ngan amik nombo umah, kena laa datang opis amik peta yg dah aku print tapi aku lupe bawak balik (baca lam satu napas!) . kebetulan taim tu dpt berita kematian bapa kpd member setempat kerje..Innalillah! jgn sedih yea ret! sabar.. haa.. sambung balik. bila sampai kat area tu, ujan turun ngan lebat. mujur laa tak brp jem. senang je nk carik umah dia. aku bantai makan banyak - 3 mangkok soto, 2 pinggan mihun, seketul kek dan segala mcm jajan sampaikan boncet perut aku neh..ehhehe.! newey Maya, lenkali kalo wat makan2 lagi, jgn lupe jempot kitorg lagi yek..

Open House

2006-11-20T16:32:00.000+08:00

Open House - 19 Nov 2006, Ahad

para penjemput (tul ke?)

6. buah limau (lam peti es) ngan epal
7. makanan sampingan - saki baki kueh raya

Besdey YaYa - 18 Nov 2006, Ahad, Apartment Mawar

-> muka lepas kenyang .. alhamdulillah..

6/11/06

2006-11-06T15:14:00.000+08:00

Nokia 5300 XpressMusic...

henpon neh aku beli pada 3 Nov 2006 bersamaan dgn Jumaat lepas ..
hehehe.. saje nak bitau..

Ramadan

2006-09-25T12:04:00.000+08:00

Salam Ramadan utk semua!

skrg nie takde masa langsung nak apdet. psl london pun tak sempat. banyak keje, banyak cuti..kira agak terbengkalai gak laa blog aku skrg neh..nanti ada kelapangan, insyaAllah, akan diapdet..

London

2006-07-28T10:28:00.000+08:00

(mood: tak sehat) uhuk..uhukk..pedih tekak! dah 2 ari aku batuk tapi ari ni baru gi klinik..dapat obat batuk (tak suker, pahit!), obat selsema (mintak ler kaki aku ok), strepsil (utk tekak) ngan syflex (utk sakit paler).. dan skrg nie aku tgh kemam strepsil yg pahit ya amat. suara pun kuar serak2, dah ler tepon asek bunyik.. dan-dan laa aku jadik ala2 pompuan melayu yg hakiki giteww hihihi! ..minggu nie mood aku macam2 dan aku rasa salah satu penyumbang kepada batuk aku neh laa..

eh, lupe nak bgtau, kat sebelah nie kucen baru kat umah kitorg. kucen ni kucen bespren aku. diulang - kucen bespren aku, yakni bukan kucen aku..salunyer kucen aku laa kan.. hihih nama dia ADIK. memula ingat dia neh kucen betina, skali mlm tadi duk gurau2 ngan dia, ghuper2nyer kucen jantan. aisehhh! tapi takpe, as long as ADIK still baby kucen lagi, takpe ler.. jgn dah jadik bapak kucen, naya laa.. kang nak gepren laa pulak kan.. .ehhehehe.. so, masa jupe ari tu, kecik lagi. muat2 jer tapak tangan aku, pewut bolat.. hehehe.. tapi skrg, ya ampun. kejap jer beso. dah ler mkn memilih (nak whiskas yg ikan jer), pulak tu sker geget2 tangan n kaki org. bih laa, dah ler tayik masyem, kecin banyak..! urghhh!!

seblom tu, nak gak citer psl member aku neh, si ita. kat seblah neh gambar dia taim mkn beradab sewaktu kenduri kawen dia. bila kitog mencelah jer, jadik dah tak bradap..hihih.. memain je laa.. well, slamat dah Ita jadik bini org.. hehehe ..tahniah kat ko, Ta & Yanin! aku ngan bespren aku, cam bese laa, selalu doakan korang bahgia, slamat hingga ke anak cucucicit.. jgn gaduh2.. ! kata org, alam rumahtangga nie banyak dugaan. kena banyak sabar.. hehe.. aku neh sekadar bagi nasehat jer.. korang2 tu masih muda..hehehe.. pe2 pun Ta, muge murah rezeki ngan anak.. hehehe!

haaa... nak citer gak neh! wiken ari tu, gi Plaza Low Yatt. ingat nak beli tape videocam jer, skali aku bantai beli Sony Cybershot digicam. hehehe. skali zasss citibank! hehehe.. cth gambar yg diamik menggunakan Cybershot tu, adalah gambar kek arijadi aku. .. nanti dpt bonus, akan aku gi lagi LowYatt tu, nak hangkut cpu baru arh..leh layan The Sims 2 lak. tapi .. PlayStation cemaner ekk? ish. luas lak pemandangan aku kat situ.. aisehh..!!

Jeng .. Jeng.. jeng...

tgh kat ataih nei.. hehhe..mesti korang yg duk tgh baca nie, tertanye2 naper laa aku letak itenereri neh. hehehe.. utk info korang, aku akan ke London..DIULANG - LONDON lagi dua minggu, insyaAllah! mcm biasa, ngan bespren arh..hehehe ! even aku dpt tiket free (kena gak bayo tax RM829), bespren pun musti gi sama. cam bese lah, mana leh tinggai dia..hihih.. so dah beli tiket Emirates - RM3,366 (CASH woo!) kat Best Tour di Wisma Cosway. fuhh.. nie lam paler mcm2 dah nak beli..eheheh.. tapi kena jimatcermat, almaklum laa, 1Pound=RM6.89 dah skrg neh.. mampuih laa..

Birthday

2006-07-25T14:12:00.000+08:00

EPI BESDAY TO ME.. EPI BESDAY TO ME..

EPI BESDAY TO JUE EPI BESDAY TO ME..

~ Kek sponsored by bespren aku ~

potong kek maa...eheheh.. semalam dah meningkat lagi setahun umo aku kat dunia neh. harapan aku utk umo baru neh - nak panjang umo, nak murah rezeki, nak diperkenankan per yg aku hajatkan lam idop nie. besdey kali nie, aku dapat sepasang kain utk baju kurung kaler ijau (sulie), sehelai tudung putih (sula). bespren lak tak tau nak beli aper utk aku..so aku mintak sudoku elektronik..hehe! mesti glabah nak carik psl aku mmg giler sudoku skrg neh..hehe.. newey, tq kat bespren n adik2 yg celebret sama2 ari tu kat PapaChop subang.. GUE UDAH TUA! hahaha...

4/7/2006

2006-06-22T16:59:00.000+08:00

minggu lepas banyak tul xtvt aku. bermula dari wiken sampai ler wiken br nie. tu tak campo lagi ngan xtvt aku wiken akan datang neh..hehehe..! ari nie baru laa bulih nak apdet psl bos aku mc nie ari..hehehe.

15hb jun (malam) - aku, bespren ngan adik dia gi star ktv bangsar. ni gara2 prektis bespren nak masuk karoke, kena laa amik feel tu, bak kata org kann!! melalak laa kat situ dari jam 9.30mlm sampai ler ke pukul 1pagi. kira ala2 gempak laa jugak malam tuh! malam jumaat lak tu. org patut wat amal ibadat, nie??...ishh..ishh...ish.. *insaf kejap*

16hb (malam jugak) - sampai ler ke ari karoke tuh. aku cam bese ler, pengurus artis laa katakan. sama sibuk laa itu ini. haa, siap ada videocam. utk shooting artis nie yek, tuan2 dan puan2.. semue persembahan mlm tu hebat2 blaker, siap ada yg bukak baju (oppss!)... bukak jaket daa.. ada yg menyanyi sepenoh perasaan! mcm2 laa. pulak tu abg nassir wahab (abg ker?) yg jadik juri mlm tu. fuhh, tgk dekat2, mmg tak kedut laa muka dia. caya lah! kira mmg enjoy laa mlm tu!

17hb (pagi) - kena attend lak seminar kesehatan kat sini. keputusan bloodtest ngan lain2 test pun dpt gak. mujur ler sumer normal, kecuali aku underweight! aiseh..tu tak dapetlaa aku nak nolong diri sirik.hehe! enjoy gak talk tu tapi mengantuk bila tang egonomik.. tapi yg paling best, mkn taim.hehehe..!

minggu 19-24 Jun - cam bese laa life aku. banyak keje, pahtu bos lak kadang2 ok, kadang2 ngokngek. tgk ari tu aku pakai baju kaler aper! herherher.. salunyer bos neh, dia akan wat pangai kalo aku pakai baju kaler itam! sedaya upayer laa aku tak pakai baju itam taim dia ada.kalo tak, naya laa aku seharian duk layan moody dia. chitt!!

ada banyak lagi citer, tapi nanti aku citer lagi laa.. nak rikod surat2 jap..

21/6/2006

2006-06-22T16:36:00.000+08:00

Artikel nie diforwardkan oleh adik aku thr email ari nie. ok gak laa nak share kat sini.. dilulih oleh Dr HM Tuah Iskandar Al-Haj. sape2 yg ada masa tu, leh laa baca..

Jodoh Perkahwinan

"Melalui emel, seorang wanita bertanya apakah keturunan menyumbang perihal jodoh. Kakaknya sudah berumur 35 tahun masih belum berkahwin. Usianya sendiri sudah 25 tahun dan masih belum punya teman."

Tidak, jodoh tiada kaitan dengan keturunan. Hanya belum sampai masanya. Ia bagai menanti jambatan untuk ke seberang. Kalau panjang jambatannya jauhlah perjalanan kita. Ada orang jodohnya cepat sebab jambatannya singkat. Usia 25 tahun rasanya belumlah terlalu lewat. Dan usia 35 tahun belum apa2 kalau sepanjang usia itu telah digunakan untuk membina kecemerlangan. Nyatakanlah perasaan dan keinginan anda itu dalam doa2 dlm sembahyang. Allah mendengar.

Wanita baik untuk lelaki yang baik, sebaliknya wanita jahat untuk lelaki yang jahat. Biar lambat jodoh asalkan mendapat Mr Right dan biar seorang diri drp menjadi mangsa lelaki yang tidak beriman kemudian nanti. Memang kita mudah tersilap mentafsir kehidupan ini. Kita selalu sangka, aku pasti bahagia kalau mendapat ini. Hakikatnya, apabila kita benar2 mendapat apa yang kita inginkan itu, ia juga dtg bersama masalah.

Kita selalu melihat org memandu kereta mewah dan terdetiklah di hati kita, bahagianya org itu. Hakikatnya apabila kita sendiri telah memiliki kereta mewah kita ditimpa pelbagai kerenah. Tidak mustahil pula org yang memandu kereta mewah (walaupun sebenarnya tak mewah) terpaksa membayar lebih tatkala berhenti untuk membeli durian di tepi jalan.

Orang lain membeli dengan harga biasa, dia terpaksa membayar berlipat ganda. Ketika anda terperangkap dalam kesesakan jalan raya, motosikal mencelah-celah hingga mampu berada jauh di hadapan. Anda pun mengeluh, alangkah baiknya kalau aku hanya menunggang sebuah motosikal seperti itu dan cepat sampai ke tempat yang dituju. Padahal si penunggang motosikal mungkin sedang memikirkan bilakah dia akan memandu kereta di tengah2 bandaraya.

Bukan semua yang anda sangka membahagiakan itu benar2 membahagiakan. Bahagianya mungkin ada tapi deritanya juga datang sama. Semua benda, pasti ada baik buruknya. Demikian juga perkahwinan. Ia baik sebab ia dibenarkan oleh agama, sunnah Nabi, sebagai saluran yang betul untuk melepaskan shahwat di samping membina sahsiah dan sebagainya, tapi ia juga buruk sebab ramai org yang berkahwin hidupnya semakin tidak terurus.

Ramai orang menempah neraka sebaik sahaja melangkahkan kaki ke alam berumahtangga. Bukankah dengan ijab dan Kabul selain menghalalkan hubungan kelamin, tanggungjawab yang terpaksa dipikul juga turut banyak? Bukankah apabila anda gagal melaksanakannya, anda membina dosa seterusnya jambatan ke neraka? Berapa ramaikah yang menyesali perkahwinan masing2 padahal dahulunya mereka bermati-matian membina janji, memupuk cinta kasih malah ada yang sanggup berkorban apa sahaja asalkan segala impian menjadi nyata?

Jika tidak sanggup untuk bergelar isteri tidak usah berkahwin dulu. Jika merasakan diri belum cukup ilmu untuk bergelar ibu ataupun ayah, belajarlah dulu. Jika rasa2 belum bersedia untuk bersabar dgn kerenah anak2, carilah dulu kesabaran itu. Jangan berkahwin dahulu sebab kenyataannya ramai yang tidak bersedia untuk melangkah tetapi telah melompat, akhirnya jatuh terjerumus dan tidak jumpa akar berpaut tatkala cuba mendaki naik.

Berkahwin itu indah dan nikmat bagi yang benar2 mengerti tuntutan2nya. Berkahwin itu menjanjikan pahala tidak putus2 bagi yang menjadikannya gelanggang untuk mengukuhkan iman, mencintai Tuhan dan menjadikan syurga sebagai matlamat. Berkahwin itu sempadan dari ketidaksempurnaan insan kepada kesempurnaan insan - bagi yang mengetahui rahsia2nya.

Berkahwinlah anda demi Tuhan dan NabiNya, bukan berkahwin kerana perasaan dan mengikut kebiasaan. Jodoh usah terlalu dirisaukan, tiba masanya ia akan datang menjemput, namun perlu juga anda membuka lorong2nya agar jemputan itu mudah sampai dan tidak terhalang. Hidup yang tidak memiliki tujuan jauh lebih menakutkan daripada hidup yang tidak mencapai tujuan.

Falsafah Aku: Mati pun kita tak tau bila, inikan pulak Jodoh! ~renung2kanlah~

8/06/2006

2006-06-08T11:00:00.000+08:00

malam nei aku akan balik kampung, bas kul 9mlm. lama dah tak balik ni. ingatkan nak balik minggu lepas tapi sepupu bespren kawen. tu yg kena tunda ke minggu ni. cuti sehari jer sbb nak spare gi london nanti (insyaAllah). ptg nie bespren akan ke spital lagi skali utk tgk result. arap2 everything's normal. anything, jgn lupe bitau aku ekk!

seblom bercuti, nak share laa movie2 yg aku tgk lam sneak review mlm tadi pahtu ngan citer yg aku dah tgk lam vcd dan jugak citer yg aku nak tgk.. cek-kit-out!

Dah Tengok: Scary movie 4 - The third sequel to the successful horror spoof franchise. From the director of "Scary Movie 3" and "The Naked Gun" series.
Pelakon: Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Leslie Nelsen, Craig Bierko, Dr Phil McGraw.
Boleh tgk sini: http://www.scarymovie.com
Komen: lawak giler! mcm2 pilem dorang campo lam yg nie. anak antu ju-onn pun ada. nak2 yg gambar labah2 lam prem tuh.. tak logik..! haha

Nak Tengok: GARFIELD: A TAIL OF TWO KITTIES - America's favorite feline, Garfield, follows his owner, Jon, to England. The U.K. may never recover, as Garfield is mistaken for a look-alike, regal cat who has inherited a castle. Garfield savors the royal treatment afforded by his loyal "subjects," but his "reign" is in jeopardy. The nefarious Lord Dargis is determined to do away with Garfield, so he can turn the castle into a resort.
Pelakon: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Breckin Meyer, Lucy Davis, Billy Connolly, Bill Murray.
Boleh tgk sini: http://www.garfieldmovie.com
Komen aku: aku mmg sker kucen, nak2 kucen debab cenggini. yg no.1 aku dah tgk berkali2, suker tgk tarian "Hey Mama".. lawak!

Cam Beh utk Ditengok: PIRATES OF THE CARRIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST - Captain Jack Sparrow discovers he owes a blood debt to the legendary Davey Jones, Captain of the ghostly Flying Dutchman. With time running out, Jack must find a way out of his debt or else be doomed to eternal damnation and servitude in the afterlife. Making matters worse, Sparrow's problems manage to interefere with the wedding plans of a certain Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, who are forced to join Jack on yet another one of his misadventures.
Pelakon: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley.
Boleh tgk sini: http://www.gsc.com.my/trailers/..
Komen aku: tgk gazet lam tv mmg beh. yg episod pertama tu tgk vcd cam balam2 gambar. insyaAllah, yg nie nak tgk wayang.. hehehe..

xtvt bulan lepas

- 01 Mei ~ Hari Pekerja
- 11 Mei ~ Ke Langkawi
- 12 Mei ~ Hari Wesak

5/6/06

2006-06-05T15:32:00.000+08:00

ada beberapa bende aku nak citer kat sini. ada citer sedih, ada citer epi.

citer sedih : minggu lepas, 2hb Jun 2006 - hari yg menakutkan bagi bespren aku dan aku sirik! sebagai member merangkap adikbadik, aku amat sedih ngan per yg bakal/sedang dia hadapi. tapi aku lagi sedih sbb benda nie sepatutnyer boleh dihindarkan sekiranyer dia amik langkah pencegahan dari awal, buat check-up. nie dak, nak ikutkan degil dia jerr.. ! nie yg aku marah sgt! degil ya amat! chittt!! tapi per2 pun, aku doakan agar operation tu akan berjalan ngan lancar, insyaAllah! to my best best pren, dun worry, it's gonna be okay yar!

citer eppi : tah ngape ari nie aku cam ringan mulut nak tepon emirates yg ari tu bitau aku tiket dah takde tu. saje jer nak cuba2 nasib. tetiba lak ari dorang kata ada, fuhh! pelik dan ajaib sunggoh laa.. so, kompem aku gi sana 9 - 16 June, 2006. yihaa!! maknanyer aku kena cuti 7 ari.. alamak, 7 hari?? errr.. bih laa aku kena marah ngan bespren tuh! ayyakk.... takpe, nanti diskas ngan dia. arap2 laa dia ok. tu kena spare cuti utk raya tu. aku lak, kena plan tul2. sbb ada mende official yg memerlukan aku jer buat lam opis neh. kang tergendala ngan keje, tak beh gak. nanti tak psl2 aku nyer cuti kena beku, dah takleh gi london. sape yg rugi? akuuuu... jugak..! psl penginapan, akan disetel kemudian. samada melalui sedara bespren ataupon 'penginapan utk opis' ataupun melalui duwit sirik. kali nie mmg gamble ler jawabnyer. fuhh!

2/6/2006

2006-06-02T10:18:00.000+08:00

bunguk mmg bunguk. bengkek tul aku ngan emirates neh.. wat per kasik tiket free sedangkan semalam aku kol dorang, tiket sampai september dah abih. takkan aku nak gi bulan puasa ke london?? sunggoh tak logik arh..pulak tu harga spare utk bespren aku lak baham 4ribu++.. gilos, mana nak cekau! tarikh yg harga murah lak, aku nyer tiket lak takde. hampeh tul! takkan nak extend tiket tu? tu pun mujur laa kalo dorang kasik, kalo tak kasik? tak ker lagi hampeh berharap!! so, kesimpulan nyer, aku wat kenangan jer laa "surat ke London" tuh.. hancusss sumer harapan aku!

29/05/2006

2006-05-29T14:05:00.000+08:00

ari nie aku rasa nak bercerita sambil letak gambar. citer sket2 jer dah laa sbb internet dari minggu lepas asek laa ngokngek. aku syak dorang kat Jabatan IT tu tgh monitor ektibiti harian aku kat opis neh! bih laa aku ..

ari sabtu. aku takde plan gi memana tapi duk lepak2 tu, teringat nak gi muzium. pestaim pegi, cam lawak laa jugak. sbb per, duk kl dah 6thn, umah sekangkang kere jer (kera kah?) ngan muzium tuh, tak penah2 laa sampai. masuk situ 2hengget je, pusing2 dah abih. kecik jer ghupenyer muzium neh. tapi banyak gak bebarang lam tu, yg banyak ttg masyarakat kat malaysia. kagum.. kagum.. banyak bangsa, banyak lak adat dan seni. bangga arh!

balik dari muzium, kitorang gi makan kat Restoran Insaf, area jalan TAR. duk pulun2 nasik briani ayam gurin sampai mata rasa nak terkatup. fuh kenyang! alhamdulillah. pahtu gi rewang kat area pasar malam. bespren aku beli tudung utk mak dia, aku lak beli gak selai ngan suar pendek. lom petang pun dah ramai org kat situ. fuh, berasak gak laa nak jalan. dah ler mendung berarak awan kelabu dah tuu. kena blah cecepat, kang terperangkap kat situ lagi naya!

masuk sogo lak sbb ari nak ujan. ingat nak survey kasut wat pakai basahan. pusing nyer pusing, aku beli baju utk Lya (suar + baju). dah bayar tu, siut tul cashier, ader ker kata aku belagak semata2 aku guna kredit kad?! (tak logik!) mujur ler aku tak brp dengar, kalo tak, mau carik gaduh aku kat kaunter tuh. bespren aku dah baran+merah muka! cecepat aku ajak dia blah, tetiba laa pulak berkenan selai baju neh. fuh, slamat aku beli baju tuh!<>

balik umah dah dkt jam 10mlm. mujur ler ada parking lagi. fuh, tolak sket2 jer keter. disebabkan keletehan bejalan, takleh nak tido laa pulak. so, kitorang layan vcd "Date Movie".. lawak gak citer neh. hasil keje pengarah Scary Movie yg mana Date MOvie neh dia duk campo2 citer dari pilem2 (ada org panggil per tah!). lam citer tu, ada selit citer Bridget Jones's Diary, Meet My Parents, The Wedding Planner, Mr&Mrs Smith, dan ada lagi ler bbrp citer. beh tapi ketegeri 18sx laa. budak bwh umo jgn tgk.. herher.. aku bantai tido jam 2 lebih sbb layan sudoku luhhh seblom tido.

ahad, aku bangun tido dah jam 11am++ gilos tido cenggini. leh penin paler weh. lepak2 tgk tv layan tamil lawan melodi. ptg sket aku gi beli tiket nak balik kg. beli 6 keping skaligus -> RM31.20x6 = RM187.30. balik 8hb mlm, maknanyer aku cuti ari jumaat tuh..hehe. bos dah approved pun cuti aku. yihaa..lama gak aku tak balik neh, so ajak bespren aku skali. mana leh tinggai dia tuh.. pas beli tiket (jem area putra tu), kitorang gerak gi One Utama. niat nak tgk wayang.. ewahh

nie lak citer X-Men III. citer neh aku tgk kat wayang ngan bespren aku tuh semalam, kat TGV One Utama, tayangan jam 7.00mlm. ni kira terlepas yg kul 4.35pm, nak tak nak, tunggu je laa. mujur ler citer tu tak lama dan jugak beh citernyer. lam tgk2 neh, sempat bespren aku wat lawak - ada ker patut dia nak jadik mutan!?! err..tapi beh gak jadik mutan. kalo leh, aku nak jadik storm, leh tukar kaler mata jadik putih belaker.. herherher! kalo mlm mesti cam"atttuuu"!

Senin di Opis

ini mug. mug nie bos aku bagi aku pagi nie. kiranyer nie pestaim laa dia beli samting setelah lebih dari 4x dia gi obersi. nie pun aku rasa dia beli sebab terpaksa (agak2 laa), takpun psl org len dah suh dia beli.. kalo arapkan dia, tak merasa laa barangan obesi. tapi kira alhamdulillah gak laa dia terpaksa/rela kasik. newey, Tenkyu Bos! *sambil jeling cekelat aku hambil lam 10 ketuls..*

19/05/2006

2006-05-19T11:23:00.000+08:00

tgh duk busan2 tak tau nak apdet per, terjumpe ler artikel/kisah neh lam email aku hasil keje forward-mengforward geng2 sekerje. quite interesting kalo dibaca tul2. aku yg baca neh pun leh tachin' .. so sesape yg nak layan tachin' cam aku neh, meh laa baca ..

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.

Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future didn't seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going toParis and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company ..

You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walk ing to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's parents.

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same any more; he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it!

What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her...

Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those back with him...

Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.

The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can't have her, see her or be with her ever again.

Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.

18/5/06

2006-05-18T10:00:00.000+08:00

ari nie mood aku tak brp btol sket. rasa malas nak gerak, malas ckp ngan org, malas nak wat segala2nyer.. last2 aku duk check email jer sesambil dilit memana email dah expired. terjumpe ler artikel nie yg aku rasa cam beh jer nak share. okeh, jom layan!

Diary of A Young Wife

Monday:
Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.

Tuesday:
We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them, I think it was the salad.

Wednesday:
I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it improved the rice anyhow.

Thursday:
Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed at work, I'll try to be supportive.

Friday:
Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did,to my mum's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again, it looked the same as when I left it.

Saturday:
Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and it's little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work,or he wanted the chicken to dance. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out "why me? why me ?" Hmmm....It must be his job.

lawak kan?

16/5/2006

2006-05-16T14:50:00.000+08:00

lama tak apdet blog. nak kira dalam sebulan sekali tu pun, kira orait dah. ni pun cecurik apdet, dibuatnyer aku kantoi, bih laa... lagipun banyak rizen yg membantutkan tangan aku utk menaip lam neh. satu - bizi tahap puaka, kedua - bos asek kuar masuk, ketiga - keje menimbun, keempat - internet ngokngek, kelima - takdak idea, keenam - tensen ngan mangkuk2 yg asek datang tempat aku. punyer ler banyak kisah jadik kat keliling aku tapi cam aku bgtau awal2 kat ataih tu laa.. nie pun aku rasa mcm aku nak berciter psl per yg aku rasa/buat masa skrg neh.

ini AMY - kucen kesayangan aku yg cacat. umor lingkungan 5 bulan. panggilan manjer dia - NemiNemi. nie aku apdet nie, sbb Nemi baru jer mati jap tadi (around 11am). adik aku kol, dia dah meraung dah kat umah. SEDIH YA AMAT! hanya Allah saja yang tau . sbb pagi tadi seblom datang keje, aku dah bagi dia susu walopon dia taknak. dah tutup rapat mulut dia. mlm tadi pun aku kasik. emm.. aku sayang kucen neh! walopon dia cacat dan 'weng-weng' (lam erti kata lain - masalah mental), tapi dia tak wat aku sakit ati pun. even dia kecin atas kapet aku dah banyak kali (basuh - kering - dia kecin lagi), aku takde rasa nak pukul even jentik pun. tah ler, sbb dia cacat kot! lagipun, kalo aku marah dia kecin atas kapet pun, dia mana gheti. binatang tuh! ok, bagi menghilangkan rasa sedih lam ati aku yg aku rasa balik umah sat lagi aku akan meleley air mata a.k.a meraung, meh aku citer dari awal cemana aku leh amik Nemi jadik kucen belaan aku walopon aku dah janji taknak bela kucen dah. (ni mungkir janji mujur tak dipanah petir).. errkk...! tapi aku dah kata, aku akan bela selagi dia idop. alhamdulillah, aku dah tunaikan janji aku yg tu. skrg Nemi dah mati. sedihnyer aku!! uhukkk..balik nei nak tanam Nemi - sayanggggg Nemi!

sobb.. sobbb...! first, aku nak citer cemana Nemi yg normal dan ektip leh jadik cacat. lam bulan feb, seblum/balik keje, aku ngan adik salu laa nampak kucen yg comey bulat tapi ekor kembang neh duk berlari2 kat koridor. kitorang bese ler, dah nampak tu, gatai lak bagi nama.. tu yg dia dapat nama Amy psl nama tu leh jadik jantan or betina. kalo nak gi keje, seblum naik keter, salu panggil2 dia ngan mak dia. eksen tul, mementang dia comey. aku nak sgt pegang dia neh tapi takleh.. balik keje pun sama, dia termenung kat tepi umah org. cehh, wat aku gereemmm jer! dah ler muka comey, mulut bising ya amat bila aku panggil, datang dekat bila nak capai jer, trus lari2.. brp kali dah aku 'bebel' kat Nemi, jgn main kat parking/tengah jalan, kang kena langgar. aku gak yg sedih.. tapi tah cemana berlaku nyer satu kejadian sedih nak menyayat atiku ini... huhu...

ari sabtu (tak ingat ler brp tarikh) tapi ari ahad keesokannyer yg shah alam banjir teruk tu, aku gi laa ikea. duk galak soping ngen bespren aku tuh. balik dari ikea, nampak kucen terbaring. aku tak syak per2 lagi taim tu, maybe ingat kucen tu tido ker baring2 malas ker.. sampai jer kat tangga atas, bespren aku kata "amy kena langgar, dah mati".. aku stat laa nak wat ratu air mata..mmg kompem aku ingat dah takde harapan, sbb darah kat lantai dah kering. sampai terberak2 dia.. aku sumpah seranah sape yg langgar dia(tak tau ngan keter keparat ker moto jahaman mana tah!).. aku tak sampai ati, adik aku balik umah meraung2.. asal kucen kena sakit/mati, sure meraung! kitorang mmg sure, umur dia pendek..soknyer (ahad), adik aku yg baru balik tepon kat bwh bitau yg Amy idop lagi, ada org letak dlm kotak. aku pun ngan semangat balik, suh adik aku amik. aku jaga laylok, daripada keadaan dia yg tenat kira 30% peluang utk idop, sampailah dia leh jalan balik. hasil letak minyak gamat ngan aku urut badan dia ari2, alhamdulillah.. dapat gak dia jalan walopon tak normal. asek teleng2 sampai digelar kucen roundabout nak bagi makan dia pun, siap beli picagari utk kitten. makan kena suap kalo tak mmg berlapar laa jawabnyer.. ari tu gi vet pun beli vitamin jer kat dia ngan scientdiet punye makanan.. haa taim nie mmg dia bulat perut..hehe.. tapi tah cemana, kena lak kurap.. aku duk letak2 minyak gamat pun, tak ilang gak.. sian dia.. banyak lagi nak citer, sampai aku bwk dia gi genting pun ada gak..hehehe..

tapi sayang, umor dia tak panjang. walopun, dia bisu dan buta, tapi Nemi akan tetap wujud dalam ati aku. walopon aku dpt memberikan sayang aku kat dia cuma sampai ke pagi tadi je, cukup buat aku insaf bahwe selagi belum sampai ajal, dia akan tetap bertahan.. emm. . balik keja jap lagi, nak tanam Nemi terus. kat seblah kubor adik Mucuk. ..moge di akhirat kelak, aku dpt jupe Nemi lagi.. insyaAllah..

babai nemi

6/5/06

2006-05-06T17:28:00.000+08:00

baru dapat apdet blog ari nie. xtvt bulan may banyak gak laa tapi tak sempat laa nak apdet ptg neh. lagi pun, dah dkt jam 6 ptg, seremmmm gak duk lam opis..hehe.. ok laa, chow luuu..

eh, lupe lak. haa ! nie laa baju baru blog aku.. heheh tu pun setelah bespren aku ekjas/tuko templetnyer. heheh.. tenkyu yar!

- 11 April ~ besdey Ayah (56thn)
- 11 April ~ Maulidur Rasul
- 16 April ~ besdey Suli (26thn)
- 20 April ~ lunch appt
- 24 April ~ besdey Wani (27thn)
- 30 April ~ Yana kawen

20/4/2006

2006-04-21T11:07:00.000+08:00

YIHAAA... I'M GOING TO LONDON !! ~ London Bridge is falling down falling down.. falling down.. ~

hahahah.. won this kind of 'grand prize'..hahaha.. return ticket to London for one person. thanks to Emirates ..

28/3/06

2006-03-28T14:30:00.000+08:00

pernah tak diminda terpikir, pada satu masa itu yg kamu sebenarnyer "mental"... maksud ku, mental sakit.. mcm aku! urghhh!! kadang2 aku tak paham dgn apa yg bermain di fikiran, dan apa yg sedang aku bicarakan. gila kah aku?! atau hanya mainan perasaan? bingung..... haruskah aku harus terusan melayan perasaan ini atau dapatkah aku berubah utk menjadi seorang aku? haruskah ku buang segala apa yg aku rasa semata2 utk org disekeliling ku? namun, bagaimana dgn aku! perlukah aku menjadi hipokrit pada diri sendiri sedang didepan ku ketawa, dihatiku derita? perlukah aku sembunyikan, atau harus ku lepaskan saja sehingga menyakitkan hati org lain? seandainya boleh ku buang, nyah lah fikiran jahat ini! agar aku tidak menjadi gila satu hari nanti..adakah insan seperti aku harus disalahkan jika perasaan gila itu datang? atau akan adakah insan yg boleh membantu...? buangkanlah sakit itu dari ku..

-jue,28mac2006-

15/3/06

2006-03-15T12:42:00.000+08:00

nie psl tag nie... ari tu cemana tah, bespren aku taggedkan aku.. lama dah, bulan lepas tak silap aku laa.. wokeh, memandangkan aku pun ada masa neh, mehlaa aku citer satu2..

4 Jobs yg aku penah/sedang buat:
1. Keje ladang - ladang jagung/kacang mak aku. dari kecik lagi aku wat keje nie..kadang2 tu aku tanam padi kat sawah, padi huma, tanam jagung, tanam kacang, hangkut biji koko..sure korang yg baca nie tak caya, tapi tu ler AKU.. (masa nie taim cuti jumaat sabtu masa duk kampung dulu laa). kira pacat, lintah, ikan laga, ulat gonggok sumer tu kawan aku.. budak kampung arh, kalu tak mcm nie bukan kampung namanyer.. hehehe. kadang2 amik upah cabut kacang dikebun org len, dpt ler wat beli tikam..
2. Kerani akaun - kedai perabot bali dan jugak wat kusi2 kat section 9, shah alam. Kira nie laa keje paling beh bulih buat taim tuu.. almaklum arh, tak banyak channel nak tau peluang keje pas study. Asal ada, rembat ajer ler - leh dikira keje sambilan gak laa pas dpt diploma dari uitm (first batch 'U' tuu)
3. kerani tempat amik org gaji - nie ler keje aku yg paling sekejap aku keje. SEHARI je.. ari kedua dorang call enpon member aku, aku suh member aku ckp aku balik kampung.. haa..pas tu aku keje tanam anggur kosong je laa lam nam bulan..sian member aku, dia sowang keje.
4. keje skrg (diRAHSIAkan) - yg mana tempat aku dah keje selama hampir nam tahun nie.. sekejap jer ghase. Ramai memember kat sini, tapi salunyer yg geng pun yg satu induction luu laa..

4 Movies that I like :
1. Lilo & Stitch - suker citer nie.. sker ya amat..aku suka sbb Lilo tu comey sampai kucen aku pun aku letak nama lilo ..lo lo lo.. then stitch aku suker lak psl dia cam adorable.. falsafah yg beh lam citer nie ialah 'ohana means family – family means no one left behind'
2. Kuch kuch hota hai - nie citer yg aku paling trajis, paling sedey, paling aku suker dlm sejarah2 citer industan. kira masa nie shahrukh khan tgh femes, ngan kajol & rani .. tapi sedey sehhh walopon dulu ada citer gajah yg member aku ya amat suker tuh -hatti meri satti- tapi tetap sker citer nie..citer nie banyak main emosi especially psl persahabatan, percintaan, dan jugak erti hidup.. ewahh
3. Chucky - ha.. aku start suker tgk chucky nie sbb member sorang tu laa.. asek laa, 'eat dirt.. eat dirt' - chucky nie jahat tapi dia beh woo.. asek bunuh org jer, no mercy.. takde akai psl dia nie patung
4. dan segala2 citer yg agak2 katun dan yg klakar2..

4 Places I've lived :
1. kg aku - kg gaung (femes ngan gerai jagung), kuala berang
2. shah alam sbb aku blajar kat situ, duk umah sewa pun situ..
3. KL sbb aku keje kat tempat skrg..
4. lom ada prancangan lagi arh..

4 Favourite TV Series (yang sekarang):
1. American Idol - yg neh aku mmg tgk dan aku arap Chris yg akan menang.. suara rock tuh!
2. Ghost Whisperer - hoh, memula dgr tajuk citer nie pun aku dah rasa cam beh walopon aku nie jenis penakut ya amat.. beh arh citer nie..
3. Senario - bior lapuk tapi tetap dihatiku ini.. walla!
4. Natasha – dah dekat nak abih citer neh.. memula citer nie aku tak tgk sgt .. sbb citer melayu..ehehh.. tapi lama2 ok laa layan sbb citer nie wat aku sakit ati.. bodow tul, aku rasa takde manusia lam dunia nie mcm natasya tuu.. asek laa nangih2..

4 Favourite TV Series (yang dulu)
1. CSI - citer nie beh psl ada bunuh2 pahtu bedah2..
2. American Idol (yg ada BoBice), The Apprentice, American Next Top Model
3. Senario - dulu tak penah miss.. sanggup tunggu siri tu tapi skrg nie, cam tak brp beh sgt dah..
4. Secreto de'Amor - taim nei glemer bila ada 'Maria Clara'.. sanggup tu aku ngan member gi kedai makan seblum masuk kelas PLK dulu..bila lecturer tanye, jalan jem..heheheh .. heroin jahat dia Barbara serano surbaran..ahhaha.. dan jugak Juana da virgin - hoh nie kira cam ala2 maria clara gak laa.. yg pompuan jahat citer nie desiree.. jahat woo..

taim2 nie aku suker tgk citer telenovela..ehhehe..

4 Places I've Been On Vacation :
1. kuantan - umah member aku..hehehe
2. kota kinabalu, sabah - banyak tempat kat sana yg dpt gi.. duk dkt seminggu.. lepak kat sutra harbour, gi labuan ..
3. perak - perlis - langkawi - cameron highland
4. genting

dan aku tingin nak gi pulau… emm.. nanti2 leh plan laa..

The 4 blogs I visit daily :
1. bespren aku+kembar aku+geng+member
2. blog aku sendiri daa..
3. mana2 blog yg aku tegerak ati nak baca
4. blogskin..heheheh

4 of my Favourite foods :
1. nasik .. nak2 kalo lauk ikan bakar cicah budu tu mmg tahan lagi.. fuhh nak2 kena ngan ulam spt petai, jering, kerdas dan jugak tak ketinggalan ulam raja
2. Kenny Rogers - suka ya amat laa nie. tapi lama dah tak makan..
3. blackpepper beefburger Burger king.. tiap kali gi mikveli, mesti mkn kat situ laaa..
4. sup perut.. nak2 yg rasa dia masam2 pedas tuu.. fuhh

4 Places I'd rather be :
1. alam fantasi mcm lam citer lilo stitch tuu..
2. tepi pantai ngan seseorang
3. oversea yg ada musim sejuk + musim bunga saje..
4. soping kompleks bila taim ada duwit lam nam juta ker...

4 Albums i can't live w/o :
1. Air Supply - fuuhh lagu2 dia mmg killer arh
2. Peterpan
3. Micheal Learns to Rock
4. lagu2 lama..nie lagu campo2 laa (melayu+english)

tangkap cintan ngan lagu Kaulah Segalanya-Hazrul Nizam

4 Vehicles i own :
takde... hatta lesen pun ngak ada..

1/3/2006

2006-03-01T17:14:00.000+08:00

aktibiti bulan Februari 2006

1hb Feb ~ Hari Wilayah
2hb Feb ~ cuti ganti
4hb Feb ~ balik kl
13hb Feb ~ besdey mak member
28hb Feb ~ besdey mak yg ke-49

aktibiti sepanjang bulan Januari 2006

2hb ~ cuti ganti new year
10hb ~ Hari Raya Aidil'Adha
28hb ~ gi kuantan (tiket tarak)
29hb ~ balik ganu
29hb & 30hb ~ CNY
30hb ~ Awal Muharam
30hb ~ besdey bespren

nie kena letak skali psl dah terlajak apdet. gara2 bizi laaa neh..

1/3/2006

2006-01-26T10:30:00.000+08:00

okeh.. memandangkan aku free skrg, leh laa apdet sambungan cuti-cuti malaysia ari tu yg tak sempat aku abihkan. nie gara2 bizi teramat2 dan jugak mood boss aku yg ngokngek menyebabkan mood aku skali kucarkacir.. (tembak bos sirik) .. dah ler masuk bulan mac dah nie...fuhhh, leh jadik citer lapuk dah .. tapi disebabkan nak citer gak, meh laa aku sambung..

19 - 21 Dec - ok.. first thing aku bangun pagi kat hotel tu, terus aku bukak langsir. tgk luar, nampak laut. beh sgt.. kemas2 katil & mandi2 sbb parent member dah turun gi bekpes. nie lak nak kena kemas2 sbb nak naik bot awal. dah kemas2 dan tinggalkan keter kat parking hotel tu, kitorang dpt tiket jam 10.30am (err tak ingat lak brp harge psl org banjer ) . aku yg pestaim nak gi sana mmg eksaited. Akhirnya sampai juge aku kat tanah kelahiran Mahsuri, yg terjadinye tragedi melibatkan 7 keturunan. tragedi yg berlaku sbb hasutan org, fuhh..giloss, kalo aku ler zaman tu, mmg dah jadik tun patimah no.2 gamaknyer. asek nak melawan jerr... ewahh! dipendekkan citer, sampai jer kat jeti, kitorg trus tuju ke arah tempat leh tempah keter. dah dpt keter, kitorang pun ronda2 dulu seblom pegi resort. first thing, amik duwit.heheh.. lam nam ratus aku amik, sume nak guna shoping2.. pas tu mkn, then baru gerak gi makam mahsuri. kat situ ramai org, kira kecik je lah mahsuri tu kalo tgk pada rumahnyer. ada tempat wat persembahan, ada org main alat muzik tradisional dan jugak ada main2 ular.. urghh dah ler lembik2 ular tu. tapi member slamber jer pegang2 ular, leh amik2 gambar lagi tu. seko betina sekor jantan.. idak ler aku! pas tu baru gi resort, wahh cantiknyer! dpt bilik besar, kebetulan lam satu umah tu kosong. pe lagi, sakan ler.. nak dishortkan d stori, banyak tempat aku pegi. antaranyer dataran helang, kawasan beras terbakar, pekan kuah yg ada kedai nama "idamansuri" (tempat borong sudu) , galeri dr.mahathir, cablecar yg tinggi ya amat, dan jugak soping kat underwater world tuh. .. fuhh..abih kat patlatus gak laa.. spare selatus utk beli cekelat ajer.. pueh ati tul laa. sampai ari last tu, pagi2 dah bangun. gi berendam kat kolam renang pahtu gi mandi kat laut, masuk kolam balik..hahaha.. mau kembang badan! hahhah tapi ada kejadian ngeri gak laa, sbb malam kedua kat situ, kluar arh jap 'amik angin' ngan member kat luar resort. tak silap dlm jam 9.30pm gitu laa. aku 'ternampak' samting kat tempat guard. lagipun, situ kawasana baru, mesti ada pe2 laa kan. pulak tu tul2 tepi pantai. hihiihihiiiiiiiiiiii... atuuuuu.....!! oh ya, lupe lak. sempat member sambar spek baru kat situ, aku dah nyaris nak terpengaruh sama.hehehe..

balik dari langkawi, kitorang singgah balik kat gerai yg kitorang makan ketam goreng ari tu. tapi kali nie aku mkn nasik sbb brp ari dah tak mkn nasik tul2 neh (nampak sgt tipu ) ........... on d way balik, kitorang lalu ikut tgh2 bandar alor setar. mak member sanggup ajak masuk bandar tu semata2 nak gi pekan rabu. ingatkan dah surut banjir, ghupe2 nyer sampai tgh bandar still banjir lagi. mujur keter tinggi, leh laa lalu. kalo tak, naya air masuk keter. dah pusing2 asek jalan tutup sbb banjir, kitorg pun kluar dari bandar alor setar tu..kiranyer alor setar takde ler besar sgt. pusing2 pun kat situ je. sepanjang jalan asek tgk sawah padi jer.. tapi sayang, ada yg langsung ditenggelami air. takde rezeki !

21 - 22 Dec - dah nak balik, papa member tetiba jer suggest bwk aku jenjalan kat penang. almaklumlaa, aku nie mana laa penah jalan jauh2 kat negeri org. sepanjang jalan, aku duk eksaited. pestaim ler katekaannn nyah! bila taim naik jambatan tu, tambah2 laa eksaited. tapi satu jer yg susah kalo jadik org penang yg keje kat "tanah besar' iaitu tahap kesabaran waktu seberang jambatan bila taim balik keje. ya ampun, masuk bandar penang jer, terus banyak keter. ngan jalan sempit nyer.. tujuan kitorang ialah terus ke batu feringhi. sbb kata papa member, kat sana happening. sambil tu leh laa usha2 resort kat sana..hihihi! kitorg sampai kat sana pun dah 7mlm lebih dah, kena carik hotel neh. raun punyer raun, nampak ler Hotel Feringhi (gambar seblah) . ok laa, budget2 satu malam 98hengget jer. ok lerr tu kan. dah check-in, kitorg gi raun2 bandar batu feringhi sambil jenjalan kat area bazar cam kat petaling street. sebelum xtvt meraun, kitorg singgah makan kat gerai kat situ. ramai chinese then, ternampakler ada shooting pilem/drama kat situ. si lanz 4u2c, pengacara bintang rtm pun ada, annahita bokaholi (ayat papa member ) pun ada gak.. dah mkn sampai kenyang, baru kitorang raun kawasan tu. aku tak beli per pun psl takde mende menarik. member ngan adik dia beli cd. balun laa dgr lam keter. balik hotel, tido tak sedor diri. sedo2 pun, dah pagi then terus mandi. bersiap2 nak balik kl. dah check-out, terus gi jenjln bandar penang jap seblom balik. sesambil tu papa member jumpe geng cina dia, blanjer mkn nasik kandaq..alemekk, jupe lagi geng2 shooting mlm tadi. pas makan, kitorang gerak gi beli tempat jual segala asam. aku borong gak laa psl aku sker asam. murah2 lak tu, banyak. tapi kena beli tul2 sbb nampak mcm masam tapi bila makan, manis nyerrrr... sesambil nak kuar pulau mutiara tu, sempat laa kitorang meraun satu bandar then baru laa bergerak balik kl.. fuh, letehh!! sesambil on d way balik tu, dgr lagu james blunt.. ok gak laa.. lam pada tu, mak member suggest lak gi cameron.. ok.. bersambung kat bawah neh..

22 Dec - memandangkan waktu baru jam 1pm, kitorang teruskan maraton cuti2 malaysia menuju ke cameron highland lak. kali ni mak member lak yg suggest psl dia tau aku lom penah sampai sana lagi. nie laa tempat yg aku nak gi sgt sbb ada bunga ros.. jauh gak perjalanan nak naik tanah tinggi nie, almost 1jam 45minit. fuh..jalan bengkang bengkok ngan sempit lagi. bbrp ari seblom tu, kecoh psl tanah runtuh kat sana. harap2 takde aral laa sepanjang jalan nie. udara nyaman jer, tetiba sampai satu selekoh, papa member sebut "BA*I".. aku terperanjat ler, ghupe2nyer org asli dua org naik moto (tak pakai helmet) tgh kendong ba*i kat blakang.. gilos tul beso babs tuu. harus dorang wat kenduri malam tu..hahahah.. sampai tanah rata, kitorang singgah makan dulu. sejuknyer, tapi member kata dulu lagi sejuk. air panas kejap jer jadik air suam. air kat toilet pun sama..mau aku beku kalo lama2 kat situ. pas mkn, mak member teringat ada sedara yg keja kat situ, so kol ler akak tu, mujur ada. kitorang jupe kat petronas tul2 kat area pasar malam. aku pun ngan tak pedulikan org, terus jer jalan. stroberi toksah citer arh, kira murah laa situ. siap ada yg letak honey sesiap. then roses...fuhh.. aku beli sampai soploh hengget.. lepak jap kat umah sedara member then trus balik kl. jalan smooth jer. alhamdulillah.. sambil kitorang kat blakang tetido2..sampai umah, dekat kul 12mlm gak..fuhh.. penat!

tu je laa citer sepanjang percutian aku akhir tahun lepas. tahun 2006 nie maybe trip ke johor & singapore lak. yg terdekat aku akan ke Genting wiken neh..ehhehe..tungggguuuu....

24/1/2006

2006-01-24T12:20:00.000+08:00

pejam celik pejam celik (asek laa mengelip2) dah pun nak abeh bulan januari. fuhh.. rasa kejap lak masa sebulan nie berlalu. tapi kalo kira2 dalam satu2 minggu tu, nak2 taim keje, lambat laa kalo senin nak tuju ke sabtu tu. cam ala2 lameeerrrr gitu.. eemm, sepanjang bulan nie banyak gak cite tapi kena abihkan citer satu2 luuu.. lex..lex..haa.. nie nak citer psl pengalaman gi kuale kangsor, langkawi, penang, cameron highland dan jugak aktibi mengharung banjir dalam pekan aloq staq. . mmg beh gilerss. kebetulan taim tu aku leh amek cuti psl bos pun cuti sama..yihaa kira lama laa jugak aku cuti psl belen cuti banyak agik. salunyer tiap2 tahun aku abehkan. nie dah tukar dept nei, kena ler berjaga2.. ok, kita mulakan citer dari memula cuti hingga abeh cuti (17-22 Dis 2005)! and the journey begins..

16 - 18 Dis 2005 - (sekadar gambar hiasan) ... balik keje, kitorang lepak2 seblom gi umah boboy, kazen member kat setapak. kena tido sana sbb pepagi besok dah nak kena bertolak ke kuala kangsar utk majlis akad nikah. oh ya, lupe nak bitau, seminggu seblom tu dah siapkan bunga telur berbentuk bakul utk majlis kenduri nanti..ok, dah sampai setapak, meriah ya amat! ramai sedara mara member yg dtg, tido sana pun ada. tgk gak barang2 hantaran, cantik! ada 11 dulang kalo tak silap. almaklumlaa, dah sebulan berlalu, lupe lak.. duk asek borak2, dah tido lambat. awal2 pagi dah kena bangun, tu pun sbb tersedar2 dari tido. mandi dan siap2 sbb akad nikah tu selepas zohor so kena sampai sana seblom tu. langkah dimulakan dgn bacaan doa selamat dan sepanjang perjalanan tu hujan. mujur ler naik crv, takder ler sempit sangat bertiga kat blakang tu..hehehe berhenti kat perhentian tapah jap utk berehat seketika dan jugak menom2. fuh, kalo journey taim ujan nie mmg bahyer, jalan licin, dah ler tak clear. dipendekkan citer, sampai ler kat kuala kangsar. kitorang stay kat resort kuala kangsar, tul2 tepi sungai perak. pas zohor, terus gi masjid utk akad nikah. alhamdulillah, si boboy cuma skali lafaz jer trus sah jadik laki org. slamat dah ko ekk, boboy. jaga bini tu baik2! heheh lepas abih jer sesi bergambo2 tu, ada jamuan sket kat umah pengantin perempuan. errr.. salunyer kalo kat belah pantai timur, majlis akad nikah sure skali ngan majlis kenduri. ni idak, nikah ari lain, kenduri ari lain. hush, berbeza amat laa. tak bese lak! tapi insiden sewaktu makan mmg aku takleh lupe. mujur aku tgk nasik tul2, kalo tak sure kena laa.. tapi takut gak, kut2 ada yg guna ilmu ker??? fuhh.. simpang laa.. nauzubillah! dah mkn, balik resort semula utk xtvt setrusnye. malam tu, gi bandar taiping (ada lak tersalah jalan). last2 singgah makan nasik kandar (err..nasik kandar ker yg malam tu arr, member?) tapi aku mkn roti canai sekeping jer. dah raun2 balik resort, pakaikan inai kat boboy then tido sbb sok nak gi kenduri kawen lak. seawal 6.30pagi dah bangun, almaklumler ramai.kang nak kena beratul lak masuk toilet. dah ler satu jer. tapi besar gak resort tu, leh muat 5 famili lam tu (termasuk aku yg bukan famili ni..errr kebetulan lak ari tu ada famili reunion kat resort tu, so ramai laa org. banyak gak xtvt yg dorang wat kat situ. emm pagi tu aku call 'kawan lama' aku. dpt tau dia dah kawen, alhamdulilah. aku harap yg terbaik utk dia sebagaimana aku skrg nie. nie dah sesiap, pas zohor gak trus gi umah pengantin perempuan. banyak laa jugak yg jadik kat situ tapi takyah arh citer. kang panjang lak posting yg nie.. pas makan2, baru kitorang bertolak ke kuala perlis.. Langkawi, aku datangggggggggg.....

18 - 19 Disember - selepas udahnyer kenduri boboy, kitorang trus meneruskan perjalanan ke kuala perlis. sepanjang perjalanan pun, ujan gak. dah dua ari berturut2 ujan. kat radio dah bagi amaran banjir. tapi cam bese ler, kitorang main redah jer. tapi sampai kat highway melalui alor staq, jalan lak tutup. arap2 kat depan sana dak ler tutup jugak. sepanjang jalan nampak sawah padi jerrrr, mmg btol laa org panggil negeri jelapang padi. tapi sayang, banyak sawah yg ditenggelami air. jalan bersebelahan dari kitorang lak jem teruk, aku agak ada ler lam 5km. nasib laa dorang. sampai kuala perlis pun dah lewat, amaran banjir dah dikeluarkan. hampir keseluruhan perlis ditenggelami air, sampaikan tajuk utama suratkhabar pun menunjukkan "banjir luar biasa selepas 30 tahun" ..tak ker dashyat tuu..! tambahan lak ada taim tu ada email psl2 tsunami neh. bagi aku kalo nak meninggal tu, kat mana2 pon boleh. langkah pertama jer kitorang sampai kat kuala perlis yg dah masuk kul 8mlm ialah menuju ke kedai makan seafood kat seblah kastam kuala perlis. mmg sedap, nyum-nyum mkn ketam goreng tepung. ngan pasemboq skali. fulamakkk... mmg mabeless.. dah makan, kitorang cari hotel utk stay mlm tu. area seblah jeti tu sume dah penoh psl satu, musim cuti skolah. dua psl banjir, takleh kluar dari perlis. nak taknak terai gak laa hotel baru kat blakang tu. orait gak laa, dua katil single then aku sowang tido kat bwh,betapa lega dan nyenyaknyer aku tido sbb pagi besok nak gi ke langkawi dah... fuhh! jgn ler aku mabuk laut besok...dan aku pun bermimpi yg indah2 blaker ..hahahah..

ada sambungan lagi neh.. tak sempat lak nak abihkan. ni pun aku rasa cam termiss mana2 citer neh.. tunggu next posting!

9/1/2005

2006-01-09T16:32:00.000+08:00

besok dah 10 Zulhijjah 1426H. salam Aidil Adha kepada semua umat Islam seluruh dunia dan pada mereka yg tengah menunaikan ibadat haji, moge2 rukun Islam ke5 itu dirahmati & diterima Allah dan mendapat haji mabrur. insyaAllah! tahun nie tokki pun gi gak (alhamdulillah) , opismet 2 org ada kat sana. harap2 dorang dilindungi dari segala bencana setelah minggu lepas ada tragedi bangunan runtuh. fuhhhh..mau terkejut gak aku tetiba tgk berita ada kes tu. tapi tu laa kata org, kalo nak jadi, bila2 pun boleh jadik. takziah kat mereka yg kehilangan ahli keluarga pada musim haji nie, terutama yg meninggal di Tanah Suci Mekah.

ok laa.. nak cite lak psl aktibiti wiken baru nie. memandangkan bespren aku tu balik kg, takde ler aktibiti yg menarik yg aku leh wat. ingatkan sabtu nak gi shah alam amik spek sambil antar separuh barang adik aku, skali ujan laa pulak. duk tibai basuh baju gak walopon dah tau ujan. terpaksa ler selakkan langsir nan cantik mantik tu sbb nak sidai kain. cehhh! then tunda laa ari ahad, tetiba lak dgn tak disangka2 masa pegi pasar pagi nak beli barang2 utk sambut raya, aku 'kena serangan' lagi.. ingatkan 3 tahun tak kena nie, dah takde ler. rupanyer lagi teruk. badan sumer sakit..lidah perit jer, mebi aku tergigit taim tu. ish..mujur ada adik taim tu, kalo tak mau aku terkejung sensorang kat pasar! fuh! kalo ngan member tu, sure aku dah dibawak ke spital dah. slamat laa kot aku kena warded. hehehe.. mujur laa tak gi spital. taknak arh raya kat sana.. mesti tak beh..huhu! tapi nie appt ngan dokte dah wat dah, so ari rabu nie wat lagi laa ct scan tu..hope everything normal.. no wonder ler aku payah nak tido skrg ni!

emm.. tak sempat nak citer pengalaman bercuti ari tu kat langkawi. tapi akan citer gak laa.. hehee. cuma masa tak mengizinkan nak citer skrg nie. jap lagi dah nak balik, lambat kang tren penuh lak. banyak keje nak wat jap lagi nei. nak tukar gas dapur, nak goreng kacang, nak masak ketupat segera, nak prepare wat nasik minyak sok. fuuhh.. gini lah tanggungjawab sorang kakak kat dua org adiknyer bila masing2 tak balik beraya di kampung.. sekian.. samat ari rayer aji..

Radja - Jujur
Duhai kekasih pujaan hatiku
dapatkah kau memberiku satu arti
sedikit rasa yang bisa ku mengerti
bukan sumpah atau janji

* buktikanlah bila kau ada cinta
setulus hatimu bisa menerima
sebatas kejujuran yang kau miliki
bukan sekadar bersama

jujurlah padaku bila kau tak lagi cinta
tinggalkanlah aku bila tak mungkin bersama
jauhi diriku, lupakanlah aku

jujurlah padaku bila kau tak lagi suka
tinggalkanlah aku bila tak mungkin bersama
jauhi diriku, lupakanlah aku selamanya

lagu nie khas utk seseorang yg aku pasti akan paham per maksud lagu nie..

31 Dec 2005

2006-01-09T15:48:00.000+08:00

aktibiti sepanjang bulan Disember

- 2hb ~ dpt kad kredit
- 3hb ~ beli gitar
- 17hb ~ pegi kuala kangsar
- 18hb ~ kuala perlis
- 19hb ~ langkawi
- 19hb-22hb ~ cuti
- 23hb ~ bayar kad kredit
- 25hb ~ krismas
- 25hb ~ sepupu member kawen
- 26hb ~ cuti ganti krismas

4/1/2006

2006-01-04T11:10:00.000+08:00

huwarghhh .. ngantuk ya amat pagi neh. dah ler pagi tadi ujan. malasnyer nak bangun. nie tgh duk nak clearkan email, duk baca ler satu2 email yg diforward oleh memember opis. antara kisah2 yg beh utk dibaca & amik pengajaran laa jugak.

STORY 1 - Poison for mother-in-law

A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and
unhappiness in he house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."

Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do." Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to
become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body.

Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her.

"Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen."

Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and
easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another person's life through you.

Send this to your friends and spread the POWER OF LOVE. Remember, if you delete this mail nothing will happen. No one will die or fall sick. But... if you send it to others your may change their life. After all you have got nothing to lose but a lot to gain.

STORY 2 - A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a
loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital. He died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how she was going to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

QUESTIONS :
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?

ANSWER :
The husband just said "I am with you Darling". The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.

No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually Not as difficult as you think.

MORAL OF THE STORY

This story is really worth reading. Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

30/12/05

2005-12-30T09:03:00.000+08:00

tgh duk baca suratkhabar, tetiba ternampak ler mende neh...

Walkiebits - Here's some interesting new robots from Takara Toys, called "Walkiebits." They're shaped like little turtles, and while they don't offer a whole lot of robotic functionality, they will remember rythms tapped out on their shells and walk to that rhythm. They can also run, play melodies, and so forth.

Takara announced the ~5cm "Walkiebits" small turtle robots on June 21st. Sales will begin on June 24th, at 1,344 yen.

Walkiebits, with the "world's smallest class" (Takara) body, feature four modes: "Walk" in which the turtle shakes its rear as it makes sound, "Rhythm Mode" which will imitate learned rhythms as it walks, "Race Mode" in which the turtle runs, and "Sing Mode" where the turtle will play melodies with electronic sounds.

Put simply, "Walk," offers 8 different types of pattern depending on speed and sounds that are played. In Rhthym Mode, the turtle will walk in synchronization with a rhythm that is "clicked" on its shell with a finger. For example, clicking a 3-3-7 rhythm on the shell will cause the turtle to walk in a 3-3-7 rhythm. It will repeat remembered rhythms three times, and can store up to 15 clicks. Race Mode will randomly cycle between "quick pace" and "slow pace" 6 times, allowing users to have races with multiple Walkiebits to "see how far they go."

Six colors will be available: Orange, Mint, Pine, Melon, Peach, and Soda. Included with each is a pop-like multiuse storage case, though to be used as a candy case. The shell of the Walkiebit can be removed, so that users can enjoy themselves by making combinations such as "the shell is Orange, and the body is Soda."

kalo nak tgk/tau lebih lagi psl walkiebits nie, leh laa masuk website nie.. tapi bahse cina laaa... -> http://www.takaratoys.co.jp/walkiebits

behnyer kalo dpt seko mende nie...

9/12/2005

2005-12-09T14:05:00.000+08:00

aktibiti sepanjang bulan November 2005

- 1hb ~ deepavali
- 2hb ~ cuti
- 3 4hb ~ hari raya puasa
- 5hb ~ balik kl
- 6hb ~ singgah kuantan
- 7hb ~ balik kl ngan member
- 15hb ~ open house raya

24 Nov 2005

2005-11-24T10:19:00.000+08:00

"don't judge me by the way i look, don't judge me by the way i act, just judge me by the way i treat people"...

ni peribahser yg aku buat sendiri utk diri aku ..bukan per, salunyer org akan salah anggap tgk aku, pakaian & diri aku. kejap macam gitu, kejap macam gini. but seriously, i like the way i treat my self, not being 'hipokrit'! for god sake, some people think that i'm 'pengkid' & some people think i kinda "split personality" but really "I'M NOT"..aku hanya normal person yg sama ngan org lain. kalo tak normal tu, ada ler sket2 kan.. ehhehehe.. sumer org mcm tu, dak? mustahil laa kalo sumer jenis normal ... haa... jadik, cuba2ler kenal seseorang tu seblom jump to conclusion. aku dah penah alami mende2 duk jump to conclusion nie, psl tu laa, blajar kenal org, baru tau cemana org tu.. isshh.. pe2 pun, kita enjooooyyyyy!!

ok.. dah abih citer tu, nak citer laa psl life skrg nie. ya ampun! giler arh idop di opis aku skrg nie. keje tetiap ari menimbun, cuma 2-3 ari neh jer yg leh lepak2. bos tarak kira free sket arh. pulak tu ngan mende2 yg aku salu laa TERmiss ..nak apdet blog pun kena tunggu masa tul2 free, cam ari nie.. pahtu aper ler ke nyanyuk ya amat laa aku skrg neh. banyak mende nak kena remind diri sirik. sekali dua takpe, masalahnyer berkali2 dah remind diri tapi asek laa lupe. aku ingat pasang azam baru laa. pe2 jer yg aku nak kena buat, aku nak terus tulih atas ketas beso, tak ingat gak, mmg bingai arhh.. *marah kat diri sirik* mende2 simple takpe, nie mende2 yg beso2, yg libat bos.. ciss...bila bos marah2, tau lak aku melenting, tapi salah diri sendiri tuh..heh hehh *mereng*

citer seblom raya - ok seblom citer psl kuih raya dan bab2 raya, meh citer psl nak balik dari kl nie.. mmg siyut kali nie masa nak amik beg kat tempat simpan beg kat stesyen bas putra tu. org berebut2 sbb ramai sgt, mujur ler beg aku kat blakang, kira nyer aku bantai serbu jer masuk blakang. org berasak jgn citer ler, sampai berterabur2 beg org. kesian aku tgk, bayangkan kalo kuih raya ada lam tu, sure pecah2 dah, pe lagi kalo barang kaca kannn... ngan org mencuri nyer laa, sempat lagi bulan baik cenggini, cari duit cara senang. mujur aku letak wolet ngan empon kat dpn, kalo tak naya laa.. boleh dpt beg pun, sekali hal lak nak berlari takut tertinggal bas. nak pitam pun ada sbb panas pahtu ramai lak org.. fuhh.. sampai lam bas, rasa sempot ya amat. pasang ekon terus hala ke muka. haa.. sampai kampung, terus singgah umah abg. then baru balik umah. emm sempat gak laa puasa sehari kat umah.hehe! menjelang raya, cam bese ler, tetiap tahun sure bizi ngan kain baju. ingat awal tahun nie, nak beli langsir baru utk umah. tgk ler cemana, nak kena gi nilai 3 neh.. nak bajek tul2..heheh..

haa..sambung citer psl raya lak. eh he... dah nak abih syawal dah nie kak tipah oiii baru nak bercerita psl raye kerr?.. hehehe.. kena ler citer psl banyak hal jadik masa beraya. kuih raya pun dah habih, yg kat seblah nie pun kuih yg dibuat kat umah abg, ada ler lam 7-8 jenis wat lam masa sehari. fuhh banyak gak laa psl kak za nak bwk balik umah dia kat bandar lagi, dia nak wat beraya kat umah dia lagi, nak bwk umah maksu lagi..brp banyak lagi daaa... heheheh. mlm tu mcm nak krem blakang, bayangkan, start wat kuih dari jam 9am, abih buat tul2 lam 9.30pm. fuh sehari suntuk. tapi berbaloi laa psl sempat aku menerai kuih semperit..ehhehe (spt lam gambar) then buat biskot mazola guna acuan love (cam lam gambar gak).. suasana kat kampung still sama, bebudak main mercun, dgn org pegi solat terawih. mmg sedih kalo ingat2kan nanti kena tunggu lagi setahun baru akan alami suasana yg sama.. agak2 sempat tak? emm.. pagi raya cam bese ler, TERbangun lambat gak tapi sempat laa gi solat aidilfitri kat masjid. dah 3-4 tahun aku tak gi solat raya, tetiba nak gi lak tahun nie. cam bese, org ramai. abih solat, singgah kubur. dari tahun ke tahun, still mcm tu. tapi kira lama gak laa aku tak gi kubur. then, pahtu ziarah sana sedara . mmg meriah, ngan bebudak lagi. ok ler, citer sampai situ dah ler psl raya psl yg lain2 tu, ari2 bese jer.. haaa... seblom terlupe, jadik lak aku wat nasik ayam pada ari raya ke-3 ..ehheheheh...

citer psl open house - ok, so far aku dah gi 3 open house setakat nie. mebi wiken nie gi shah alam kot.. gi umah terbuka member lama, fuuhhh tu mmg geng taim 'mendajalkan' diri dulu, layan karoke dorang blanjer, keter pun dorang kasik pinjam. giler beh woo. tu ler, 6 thn tak jupe. last jupe pun, masa dia br pas branak, skrg nie anak dia pun dah nak masuk skolah rendah..fuhhh cepat tul masa berlalu. akan pegi umah dorang, insyaAllah.....kalo takde pe2 hal laa kan

Chicken Little
dah tgk citer nie, bese ler beli vcd blekmaket. hehehe..! cite ni beh pahtu ciken litel nie pun kiut. heheh.. cuma kalo suara ciken litel tu ditukar ke suara budak lagi comel. kira, ciken litel nie jadik citer ke-2 yg aku suka pas lilo & stitch..

~ Jumaat, 28 Oktober 2005 ~

2005-10-28T09:29:00.000+08:00

huuuwwargghhhh giler lama tak apdet! bizi ngan keje lagi, kad raya lagi, mende2 urgent lagi. sampai blog pun tak sompat2 nak ngapdet. dkt 2 bulan aku tak bercerita kat sini. nie ada semangat nak apdet pun sbb ari tu kid tukarkan aku nyer template neh.. tenkyu kid muahhh!! ni lagi satu, sempat aku apdet ri nie psl bos tarak. opismet ramai yg dah mood raya, jadik kurang sket keje aku. tu yg leh lepak sini sambil duk carik ilham per lagi nak citer.

emm.. ari nie mood aku ok. mebi sbb malam tadi aku bantai tido dari jam 8mlm kot.eheheh! lagi lak, pagi tadi basuh comforter pas sahur. almaklum ler nak balik beraya, bio ler bakul baju tu kosong. emmm.. barang2 dah masuk beg sesiap. ngan kuih2 skali. baju raya ayah, abang ngan ayah ki dah slamat dibeli. baju si alya pun dah beli, kid belikan alya beg kecik utk bwk kolet duwit taim ghayer ni. tahun ni takde bajek ngan beli utk yg lain psl kena bayo utang2 lain gak. nie ler padahnyer bila berutang banyak2.. hehehe.. tapi sumer dah slamat aku bayo laa. mana ler tau kot tak panjang umo, tak baik woo berutang! emm..pe lagi ekk? haaa.. tahun nie baju raya aku ada 3 pasang. satu suh mak jahit, dua aku beli yg dah siap. senang! taruk batu kilat2, dah nampak mahal walopon aku beli tak brp mahal..eheheh.. kasut ghayer jer takde. alah, kalo pakai kasut lawa2 pun, kena becak kat kg, comot gak kasut aku..baik pakai kasut yg mana ada jer dah ler.. nie spare duwit raya 50hengget utk bebudak. kalo tak cukop gak, tak tau ler..

well, lom terlambat utk aku wish salam Ramadan utk sumer. alhamdulillah, syukur kepada Allah kerana aku dipanjangkan umo utk melakukan ibadat puasa pada tahun ni. sbb tiap2 tahun, salu rasa cam tak sempatttt jer nak poser. well, sepanjang ramadan nie, leh gak aku tunaikan ngan aman dan sejahtera. even sampai umah dkt jam 6lebih, sempat laa berbuka kat umah. lagi lak, mujur kat area bwh tu ada jual juadah berbuka. cuaca dibulan poser nie pun alhamdulilah.. tak ler panas sgt, petang sure mendung takpun ujan. kurang sket lapar dan dahaga tu. perut pun tak banyak meragam. cam elok2 lak tahun nie padahal aku takde ler menom susu. cuma pas sahur, mkn kurma je. penah sekali tu tak TERbangun sahur, hah, hambik ko menjajaw lapo seharian. lak tu aku dah masak sedap2 dah utk sahur, last2 jadik lauk berbuka. mujur tak basi. ikan bakar wooo! *slupppsss*

well, petang esok aku balik kampung *dgr lagu sudir*. hopefully tak jem kat highway tu. nak kena kuar umah cepat2 kang ramai lak org lam tren. dapat rasakan kat stesen bas putra tu sure penoh org. ni tiket spare pun leh pulang balik, dah kol dah kaunter tiket tu. kid lak balik pagi sok, drive laylok ekk... jgn rush2, umah tu takkan lari nyer . kim salam mak,papa n adik2 ekk..

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kat sumer umat Islam sedunia. Maaf Zahir & Batin

hopefully raya tahun nie takkan berulang lagi kejadian cam raya tahun lepas. taknak dah aku. serik!! then, pada sumer yg balik kampung tu (yg driving), pandu keter tu laylok *pesanan utk kid* .. yg naik bas tu, jgn terlajak turun bas lak. kang naya ... well, have a nice and sweet raya. kim salam org kampung ekk... baiii...

12/8/05

2005-08-12T09:44:00.000+08:00

uish..lama tul tak apdet blog. skrg nie ghasenyer sebulan sekali laa nampaknyer leh apdet blog. banyak mende jadi kat keliling aku. umm..skrg neh fenomena jerebu menyelubungi negara (gambar: KLIA pada 11/8/05) jerebu yg amat teruk dalam sejarah negara nie disebabkan oleh pembakaran hutan secara besar2an di sumatera. per ler dorang tu, kalo yea pun nak bakar utan, jgn ler sampai teruk kena negara org mcm neh. skrg nie kat mana2 org pakai mask, takut terhidu asap tu hah. cer kalu org tu asma ker ada masalah paru2 ker, mau pitam doplohpat jam. dah ler tahap istihar darurat bila API cecah 500. mampushh! cam aku pun kena skali bahang jerebu. masuk ari neh dah seminggu aku kena flu yg tak baik2. idong toksah citer ler berengos pahtu mengelupas2 sbb aku duk lap idong ngan tisu. ish..silap aku gak, org mkn obat, aku tgk jer ubat..hehehehe! until today, cuaca pun dah ok dah. jerebu dah ilang, alhamdulillah.

(gambar: roses hadiah dari kid for my 28th besdei) ok, back to my last month xtvt. sejak masuk dept baru nie, giler banyak keje. dgn flight booking, ngan kena arrange meeting, ngan kena rekod surat2, fuhh.. sekian lama tak buat keje neh,tak menang tangan lak ghase. balik pun takleh sharp, ada jer kena apdet itu ini, lain tu laa ngan dulu yg aku leh goyang kaki. ari2 ngadap internet, kadang2 tido. fuhhh! mmg berbeza laa sampaikan blog pon sebulan sekali baru leh apdet. eh, dah lebih sebulan laa kat dept nei..banyak gak nak kena blajar balik neh.. fuhh mau pening paler. tapi lam dept nie still tak berubah2 gak prangai staff. dari dulu sampai skrg, gitu laa jugak. pahtu ada lak yg jenis yg bossy. cehh, ade2 jer nak wat aku sakit ati..

kek yg disponsor oleh adik aku ..tenkyu suelie well, bulan lepas genap dah aku 28thn. kejap jer aku rasa masa berlalu. sedar2 dah makin beranjak umur nie. nak ikutkan,takde perubahan lam life aku. still huhahuha mcm biasa..cuma aku makin banyak keje, takde masa nak rewang2 pas keje. skrg neh salu stay kat opis sampai jam 6lebih.. tu lom tentu kalo bos tetiba suh aku wat keje. ummmm.. tapi ok laa drpd dulu, asek mkn gaji buta je.. apa lagi ekk? aaaa..aku punye loan komputer dah abih. lega woo, ada ler lebih duit gaji aku bulan ogos nie.hehehe!

sekarang nie tgh giles ngan lagu Black Eyed Peas - Don't Phunk With My Heart. sampaikan jap nie sanggup aku donlod satu cd masuk pc.. ehehhe.. campur2 laa, lagu hiphop. so, layaaaannnnn....

Don't Phunk With My Heart - Black Eyed Peas
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart
(Yeah)
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart

I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)

Girl, you know you got me, got me
With your pistol shot me, shot me
And I'm here helplessly
In love and nothing can stop me
You can't stop me cause once I start it
Can't return me cause once you bought it
I'm coming baby, don’t got it (don’t make me wait)
So let’s be about it

No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart

Baby, have some trustin', trustin'
When I come in lustin', lustin'
Cause I bring you that comfort
I ain’t only here cause I want ya body
I want your mind too
Interestin’s what I find you
And I'm interested in the long haul
Come on girl (yee-haw)

(come on)

I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)

No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart

Girl, you had me, once you kissed me
My love for you is not iffy
I always want you with me
I'll play Bobby and you’ll play Whitney
If you smoke, I'll smoke too
That’s how much I'm in love with you
Crazy is what crazy do
Crazy in love, I'm a crazy fool

No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart

Why are you so insecure
When you got passion and love her
You always claimin’ I'm a cheater
Think I'd up and go leave ya
For another señorita
You forgot that I need ya
You must’ve caught amnesia
That’s why you don’t believe

(uh, yeah, check it out)

Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby

Baby girl, you make me feel
You know you make me feel so real
I love you more than sex appeal
(Cause you’re)
That-tha, that tha, that-tha, that girl [5x]

[overlapping]
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart [2x]
That-tha, that tha, that-tha, that girl [2x]

I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby) [4x]

Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby

9/8/2005

2005-08-09T09:40:00.000+08:00

aktibiti sepanjang bulan julai 2005

- 1hb-3hb ~ gi kuantan
- 8hb ~ pindah dept
- 11hb ~ 1st day dept baru
- 24hb ~ my 28th besdey
- 26hb ~ alya 1st besdey

5/7/05

2005-07-06T12:33:00.000+08:00

semalam amik emergency leave. nak kena temankan adik pegi jupe lecturer kat uitm tu hah. ekcheli, pagi semalam lam 3.50am, adik baru sampai dari ganu. memandangkan awal ya amat dia sampai, gi laa amik dia kat stesen bas putra. salunyer dia balik sendiri tapi beg lak berat. ish.. mujurlaa keter tak banyak. sampai umah balik lam 4.30am, duk bantai mkn rojak katih, fuuuhhh... pagi2 buta mkn mende2 masam mmg mabeless, mujur perut tak sakit. tapi sebukus jer laa, kalo banyak2 letak peti mesti sedap neh (telan liur) .. bantai okok sebatang dua, baru lelap balik. tu pun dah 5am, dah ler ngantuk ya amat psl mlm tu tido lambat. last2 tak gi keje sbb sedar2 dah pukul 10.40am. terus bagi msg kat bos bgtau amik emergency walhal tak emergency langsung..ehhehehe..

bekpes mkn nasik lemak sambil borak2 ngan adik. citer psl kampung, pasal famili, psl kucen sambil sap oko sebatang dua... masa nak mandi, angkat laa lilo nak letak lam sangkar dia. skali tah cemana lah kaki dia leh cakar lengan aku. zapppp bunyi dia sampai adik aku cuak giler. aku tgk jer lengan, berbaris2 putih pahtu slow2 kuar darah meleleh2. leh pulak tu lam luka tu, ada setompok bulu lilo.. cesss! .. terus basuh ngan air paip then letak minyak gamat. darah still kuar gak, sampaikan adik aku terketaq2 tangan nak sapu minyak gamat tu tul2 atas luka. aku ok jer, amik towel terus mandi. mujur tak pedih sgt. dah mandi, balut luka bergaris 3 tu ngan bandej. mujur ada spare bandej. cam cacat laa pulak lengan neh, skali org tgk cam jatuh motor walhal kena cakar ngan kucen..aper daa! ..dah sesiap, naik tren jam 1.26pm sbb terlepas dpn mata tren jam 1.10pm. org tak ramai lam tren so takde problem nak carik seat. sampai kat setia jaya, tetiba lak ujan lebat. dah ler payung tak bawak, hayya.. mintak2 laa shah alam tak ujan gak. mendung jer tuu..

jam 2pm, sampai komuter shah alam. naik teksi ke bus stop kat seksyen 2 sbb teksi biasa takleh masuk lam kawasan uitm tu, caj mahal woo sampai 6hengget 2 org. tu tak pakai meter pahtu share lak ngan dua org lagi pelanggan. nak cepat, halalkan jer laa. naik lak teksi kenari, terus tuju ke HEA kat menara, kena 3hengget. yg jadik sakit ati nyer tu, HEA pindah bangunan baru. baru aku gi ari tu, takde lak tampal sign kata HEA akan pindah. ciss.. so aku kol laa bahagian korporat tanye kat ner opis tu skrg. pompuan yg duk jawab kol tu bgtau kat bangunan tul2 dpn pintu masuk. fuh giler jauh kalo nak menapak ke sana. tgh2 ckp kat tepon tu, ada laa 2 org studen yg carik HEA gak. so, gi skali ngan dorang laa. at least save gak bajek sambil takyah guna kederat nak jalan kaki ke sana. sampai situ, terus gi tingkat4 jupe ngan officer incharge. tgk list nama tu mmg kompem gagal. takleh jadik, patah balik ke menara. lagi sekali mujur psl bebudak 2 org tu still ada lagi, pahtu nak tumpangkan kitorang. fuhh selamat! gi opis fakulti pengurusan pejabat, jupe dekan. puan tu bgtau kesilapannyer psl masa pembentangan ari tu, result adik aku takde sekali ngan dia. kesilapan kat HEA laa neh. budusss.. so, puan tu bangkitkan lagi sekali psl neh then kena tunggu kol dari fakulti laa samada leh lepas ke dak. mintak2 laa dia leh lepas tukar kursus tuu... siap tu, kuar jalan kaki ikut school engine then lalu bukit tonggek pahtu lalu kat hotel uitm. lama dah tak wat gitu..

seblom balik, singgah mkn kat gerai sementara seksyen 2. dulu kat situ tadika kristal tapi skrg neh dah tukar kepada rumah anak2 yatim dah. eemm banyak kenangan kat playground situ. pekena abc ceklat ngan nasik goreng cendawan. murah ler makanan kat situ. pastu singgah jap kat kedai aquarium seblah wetworld. sempat laa belikan kid sekor ikan laga kaler dark blue, ekor dia merah pahtu kembang .. mesti dia suka sbb dari ari tu lagi duk asek nak ikan laga. heheheh.. nanti nak wat suprise kat dia. tgk jam dah pukul 4.35pm, amik teksi pegi komuter.. sampai umah dkt 5.30pm.fuhh.. penat gak ...

kat bawah neh aku nak share citer katun yg aku rasa klakar + beh ya amat. citer2 neh leh wat aku gelak + sedih sbb most of these stories ada pengajaran. bagus kalo banyak2 citer gineh.. newey, moh layan katun2 neh..

koleksi citer katun klakar

Lilo & Stitch

Synopsis

When lonely Lilo meets Stitch in Hawaii, she thinks she has adopted a dog and found a friend. Instead, she is about to embark upon the weirdest adventure of her life. Stitch is really the result of a dangerous genetic experiment who has escaped from an alien planet. And aliens are in hot pursuit...

Madagascar

Synopsis

Alex the Lion is the king of the urban jungle, the main attraction at New York’s Central Park Zoo. He and his best friends Marty the Zebra, Melman the Giraffe and Gloria the Hippo have lived their entire lives in blissful captivity, with regular meals provided and an admiring public to adore them.

Not content to leave well enough alone, Marty allows his curiosity to get the better of him and, with the help of some prodigious penguins, makes his escape to explore the world he’s been missing. Alex, Melman and Gloria go after him, but before they can go wild in the streets, they are captured, crated and put on a ship to Africa…to be ultimately set free.

When those plotting penguins sabotage the ship, Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria find themselves washed ashore on the exotic island of Madagascar. Now, these native New Yorkers have to figure out how to survive in the wild and discover the true meaning of the phrase “It’s a jungle out there.

Monster Inc.

Synopsis

Monsters, Inc. is a factory which sends monsters around the world to scare kids who are trying to sleep. It's nothing personal, in fact the screams are used to power Monstropolis where the monsters live. This job isn't easy for the monsters, who believe children are toxic.

James P. Sullivan , a large woolly blue monster, is one of the company's top scarers. Teamed up with a troublesome green one-eyed monster named Mike Wazowski, the two roommates and best friends are finding that today's kids are not as easily scared as they used to be. One night Sulley accidentally lets a young girl named Boo into the monster world. Now Sulley and Mike must risk their own safety as they race to get Boo back into the human world without letting anyone know of her existence.

1/7/05

2005-07-01T11:35:00.000+08:00

lama tul aku tak apdet blog neh. nak kata takde idea tu, mmg btol laa takde idea tapi aku rasa cam takde mood nak apdet benornyer..hehee. .. dah ler sepanjang minggu neh ajer, asek laa ngantuk. tido kalo tak lebih dari pukul 1pagi, tak sah nyer.. ish.. bila datang opis jer, cam ayam kena kapur jer. tersengguk2, per nak jadik laa ngan aku neh.. umm.. ari nih dah 1hb Julai 2005. cepat sunggoh masa berlalu, skali ngan umur aku gak laa. pejam celik pejam celik, ujung bulan neh besdey aku. nak masuk 28thn dah aku neh, tapi rasa cam baru 18thn..huhuhu prasan tuu..tapi tu laa, umur jer beranjak, ati tetap menten muda tu. anak sedara aku pun dah nak masuk setahun, tapi dia kira dua ari lepas aku laa..

sepanjang bulan neh banyak mende yg jadik kat keliling aku. seblom gaji aritu, adik kol bgtau yg atuk sakit. aku kalo bab atuk lelaki neh, mmg ada satu mcm sket, cepat aku rasa sayu, terus migren, takleh nak duk diam. naik runsing tetiba. nak balik, lom gaji lagi. kopak tul aku neh.. umm.. sebnarnyer aku sayang atuk aku. sbb kalo ada makanan ker apa2 yg dia tau aku suka, sure dia spare utk aku. dulu masa rambutan tgh lebat berbuah, sanggup dia pikul seguni besar rambutan utk aku. umm.. sedih laa bila ingat2, sbb tu aku takut akan hilang dia.. . lagi satu, dia pantang kalo org kacau cucu2 dia..! pahtu ingat dulu masa skolah rendah, dia penah kejar budak lelaki skolah yg kacau aku, tak silap aku nama mamat tu mohd ruzaini. hahahaha.. padan muka dia kena warning. masa tu rasa beh sgt. tapi pahtu yg wat sleknyer aku ingat, sekali tu dia usik buah kelapa yg aku bwk utk projek lukisan. ada ker patut buah kelapa tu dia buat bola!! per lagi, aku mengamuk arr. aku kejar dia sampai semput, kira taim tu aku boyish sket arr. aku tolak meja sampai dia terkepit kat celah dinding.. muka merah mata berair.. hah! padan muka dia, sapa suh kacau aku!! huh!! sampai abih skolah, budak tu tak brani nak gertak/carik pasal ngan aku. tapi per aku nak citer kat sini, darah pahlawan atuk aku tu mmg turun kat aku. mujur aku tak blajar silat ngan dia, tah2 asek silat org jer laa keje aku..heheheheh ..

then adik aku lak nak tukar course interior design tu, tak larat dia kata. duk telek2, aku pun rasa dia takleh nak bawak course tu. aku sendiri kalo jadik dia tak larat. giloss banyak keje. mau pitam kalo asek keje melukis jer. pulak tu kalo tak sama cam lecturer nak, kena buang gitu2 jer. fuuhh! mau kejang urat jer.. cthnyer cam satu malam tu, duk tulun dia kaler room 4 keping, sampai tak tido malam dibuatnyer. tu baru 4 keping, lom lagi separuh buku drawing paper! so, aku suggest dia amik office management, course yg banyak baca jer. kurang keje fizikal tapi kena english power laa psl sume lam english. so, dia braney nak amik peluang tu, kira ok laa. duk prepare mende tu pun amik masa gak, sbb kalo sebut jer uitm, sure banyak kerenahnyer. itu tak tau ini tak tau, last2 dua kali budak tu turun dari ganu semata2 nak amik sekeping borang jer. aper ler, lenkali bagi ler arahan btol2, kan dah menyusahkan org. aku cukup nyampah org wat keje gitu. .. dah siap itu ini, kena tunggu miting dekan dulu pada 25hb or 29hb. semalam kol, result lom tau lagi, so kena tunggu laa minggu depan. arap2 dia leh tukar laa..

bulan neh jugak penyewa bilik satu lagi nak move out. dia dah brenti keje pahtu tunggu offer letter keje kat obersi. ok laa, rezeki dimana2 kan.. .. ada naikkan iklan tapi sorang jer kol, tu pon geng 'jerman'.. tak mo aku! malam tadi hosmet tu datang hangkut barang2 dia lam bilik tu. mujur datang taim kitorang ada kat umah.. dah kasik deposit, kira setel laa sume. cuma bil air api jer blom sampai bil. emm memandangkan adik aku dah keje, dia yg move in lam bilik tu. senang laa keje, takyah carik penyewa lain. then malam tadi gak, pas barang2 budak tu clear lam bilik, terus cat bilik tu. disebabkan cat tinggal separuh, kena ler beli lagi petang neh. nak warnakan lam bilik tu ceria sket sbb agak sempit gak laa bilik tu. dah siap sumer, tgk2 jam dah pukul 12mlm. leh lak sambung mkn nasik tomato pas tu. dasat2.. sbb jam 8mlm tu dah pulun nasik sepinggan lauk ikan singgang cicah budu ulam petai.. fuhhhh.. mabeless....!!sedap gilerrrr..!

well, jumaat depan kompem aku kena pindah dept. arap2 ok laa cuma agak tak puah ati psl seat aku, blakang ada org yg tak beh. bukan mcm skrg neh, relex jer, org tak nampak per yg aku buat. pas ni sure payah laa aku nak online.. cisssss...

emm..malam kelmarin tgk citer kuch-kuch hota hai. still pol in lop ngan pilem neh, leh lagi layan leley air mata..huhuhuhu.. most of the story, cam life aku tapi takder ler lagi bab2 mati tu. gambar2 kat bawah ni aku copy dari mana2 site tah. sumer cantik2.. leh laa layan.

pilem paling beh yg aku penah tgk

Synopsis

This is the story of Rahul (Shah Rukh Khan) and Anjali (Kajol) who studies in St. Xavier's College. Anjali being a tomboy got along very well with Rahul and the other boys-Rahul being her best friend. Being so close to each other, Rahul and Anjali would probalbly have fallen in love, however the reasons why this did not happen was because they were having a very good time being best buddies and then Tina (Ranee Mukherjee) the Principal's daughter came into their lives. For Anjali, Tina was a third member of their gang, however, for Rahul-his life was never the same-he fell in love with her.

Anjali was finally beginneing to fall in love with Rahul, and when she sums up the courage to tell Rahul about her feelings, Rahul informed Anjali in his usual friendly manner, that he was falling in love with Tina totally oblivious of his best friends feelings for him. Boken hearted Anjali decides to leave the college mid term making up an excuse. It is at this point that Tina having always suspected Anjali's true feelings for Rahul realises why she is actually leaving.

The film revolves around the story being narrated to Little Anjali (Sana saeed), Rahul and Tina's eight year old daughter through the letters her mother has left for her whe she died dut to complications at child birth. Tina tells her daughter to fulfill her dream to bring back her father and Anjali together-best friends who would have eventually fallen in love and who have not seen each other for the past nine years.

"Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" is the story of best friends - Now they are falling in love.

2005-06-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

aktibiti sepanjang bulan Jun 2005

- 28/4-12/5 ~ cuti sekolah
- 4hb ~ keputeraan Agong
- 7-11 ~ kid gi sarawak
- 11hb ~ sabtu pertama ganti
- 12hb ~ sukan
- 18hb ~ sabtu ketiga

3/6/2005

2005-06-03T08:37:00.000+08:00

dah tiga ari masuk bulan baru - jun. life still d same, pegi keje balik keje, lepak umah, main kucen dua ekors tuuh. sepanjang minggu ni ngan minggu depan pegi keja naik tren. leh tahan gak laa penat tapi dah lama tak eksersais gitu, sedap sket badan. kat opis pun takder ler ngantuk sgt. emm pagi tadi bekpes nasik lemak kerang ngan te o es cam bese. murah jer kalo mkn kat situ, kenyang lak tu. dari senin ari tu, mkn kat situ jer laa.

sabtu pagi minggu lepas temankan member balik kuantan, hantar kembara dia utk tukar kaler baru. akan tukar itam sbb dia berkenan dari dulu lagi nak tukar kaler tu. bertolak dari umah jam 7am, tapi ada kejadian misteri lam keter yg sampai ari neh takleh nak ditafsirkan pekebendernyer tuu (ewah.. ). cenggini citernye: br jer bertolak 5 minit, bukak ler kaset dgr lagu scorpion tak sampai seminit, aku pun tutup laa. tgh nak amik wolet kat blakang, tetiba dgr muzik starting lagu drowning backstreetboy. btol2 clear. fuhhh aku pandang member, member pandang aku. sbb kitorang je lam keter tu. cuak gilos sbb radio mmg tak pasang, aku check empon takde lak msg or call dari sapa2..! ... member dah meremang bulu romer pahtu wat tak tau jer laa. pegi isi minyak luu baru laa teruskan perjalanan ke kuantan. sampai awal laa jugak, bekpes kat kopitiam mkn nasik dagang. pagi tu ajer abih 20hengget bekpes.fuhh! balik umah lepak2 then tghari tu gi antar keter kat workshop swee lee. papa dia duk kautim2, dapat laa RM1,800 utk whole body kembara tu black-metalic. skali ngan fiber pun guna itam. then,takleh tinggalkan keter lagi, kena antar senin. pegi kuantan parade potong rambut. ya ampun, pendek giler rambut aku dikerjakan dek ciner tuh. mujur tak tergunting tangan aku skali. cissss.. dah ler aku sayang rambut yg jurai2 panjang pendek kat blakang neh sambil makan kat food court, membebel tak hengat. malam, penat gilos. jam 10.30pm dah tido. zzzzzzzzzz...

ahad lak bangun awal2 pagi utk basuh kater. mendung lak pagi tu. dah sesiap tu, mandi dulu seblom mak dia tegur anak dara lambat mandi..heheh.. tgh duk tgk2 bodi keter, parent dia balik dari amik ikan kat jeti. senang nak mkn ikan kalo duk sana, pegi je kat tepi jeti sure dpt ikannyer, maklumler papa dia org kenal.dah sesiap siang ikan, terus masak. banyak lak masak ari tu sbb sepupu member yg duk kl nie gi kenduri kat kelantan nak turun kuantan lak. lam banyak2 masak tu, aku mkn budu ngan ikan bakar jer. sedap woo tapi perut dah penuh sbb menom air sarsi, sepinggan pun dah rasa pack. rehat2 kejap dan bersiap laa sbb bas jam 4pm. naik bas bulan restu, bas baru tu. kaler pink... tu pun kira lewat sbb nak kena rush ke bus station lam masa 10menet. tambah lak ujan lebat ya amat kat sana, sampai nak naik bas pun lencun. sejuk giler lam bas, mujur bwk sweater. sempat singgah kat perhentian bas temerloh, beli air melo panas. sampai kat karak jer, stat laa jem psl jalan tutup 2 line. berderet2 keter. eksiden lagi, dasat tul.. . sampai kl dkt jam 8mlm, fuuhh lega. sampai umah penat giloss.. sok lak keje.. hayyoooo...

wiken neh takde plan lagi sbb parent member nak datang. psl ada sedara nak gi umrah. lepak umah jer laa..

EpiLoG ~ Kawan Baik

Bukannya senang nak cari kawan yang baik.
Bukan senang juga nak menjadi kawan yang baik.

Kawan yang baik
tak pernah mengumpat di belakang kawan baiknya.
Kawan yang baik
tak pernah cemburu dengan kejayaan kawan baiknya.
Sebaliknya kawan yang baiklah
yang paling banyak membantu
kawan baiknya untuk mencapai kejayaan.

Kawan yang baik
tak pernah mempengaruhi kawan baiknya
untuk membuat perkara yang buruk dan sia-sia.
Kawan yang baik
adalah orang yang selalu menasihati
kawan baiknya untuk berbuat kebaikan.

Kawan yang baik
adalah orang pertama yang akan dicari
bila tiba masa sedih atau gembira.
Kawan baik menjadi tempat
kita meluahkan perasaan yang tak dapat
diluahkan kepada kawan biasa.

Kawan yang baik
tak pernah memaksa kawan baiknya
untuk sentiasa berada di sisinya.
Kawan yang baik
tak pernah melarang kawan baiknya
untuk berkawan dengan kawan yang baik.
Kawan yang baik
tak pernah cemburu jika kawan baiknya
mempunyai ramai kawan baik, kerana
kawan yang baik tahu
apa yang paling baik untuk kawan baiknya.

Kawan yang baik
akan sentiasa mendoakan kesejahteraan
dan kebahagiaan kawan baiknya
di dunia dan di akhirat di dalam doanya.
Kita adalah kawan yang baik
jika kita faham bahawa kawan baik kita
bukanlah seorang yang sempurna.

Kita adalah kawan yang baik
jika kita menjadi kawan yang baik
kepada kawan baik kita.
Kita bukanlah kawan yang baik j
ika kita tidak menghargai kawan baik kita,
kerana kawan yang baik
akan sentiasa menghargai kawan baiknya.

Kita bukanlah kawan yang baik
jika kita tidak memberitahu perkara yang baik
kepada kawan baik kita, kerana
kawan yang baik akan selalu menyampaikan
perkara yang baik kepada kawan baiknya.

Kawan yang baik
akan memanjangkan pesanan ini
kepada kawan-kawannya,
bukan kerana terpaksa,
bukan kerana suka-suka,
tetapi untuk dijadikan pedoman
oleh kawan-kawannya supaya dapat
menjadi kawan yang baik kepada kawan baiknya.

Dan kalau kita nak dapat kawan baik yang baik,
kita mesti lebih dahulu menjadi seorang kawan yang baik...
kepada kawan baik kita.

emm artikel kat atas ni aku dpt lam email, sweet sgt. kena ngan background musik yg aku tukar ari nih - lagu N'Sync . lagu ni banyak kenangan kat aku masa final year diploma kat uitm. banyak psl kehidupan seseorang yg lost in journey.

N'Sync ~ I Drive Myself Crazy
Lying in your arms
So close together
Didn't know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
'Cause I'm without you
Now I'm missing you so bad

Where was my head?
Where was my heart?
Now I cry alone in the dark

* I lie awake, I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy thinking of you
Made a mistake when I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy wanting you the way that I do
(Wanting you the way that I do)

I was such a fool
I couldn't see it
Just how good you were to me
You confessed your love, undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free
And now I'm left with all this pain
I've only got myself to blame

[Repeat *]

Why didn't I know it?
(How much I love you baby)
Why couldn't I show it?
(If I had only known)
When I had the chance
Oh, I had the chance

31/5/2005

2005-05-31T11:23:00.000+08:00

aktibiti sepanjang bulan mei

- 1hb ~ hari pekerja
- 2hb ~ balik kl
- 7hb ~ sabtu pertama
- 10hb ~ appointment tawakal
- 21hb ~ sabtu ketiga
- 22hb ~ wesak day
- 23hb ~ cuti ganti wesak
- 28hb ~ sabtu off
- 28/4-12/5 ~ cuti sekolah

17/5/2005

2005-05-17T15:05:00.000+08:00

fuhh.. baru leh updet blog. semalam Hari Guru, so nak wish sumer guru2 termasuk abg & kakak ipar aku tu. semoga dpt menjalankan tugas yg diamanahkan utk anak bangsa kita. keep it up!

wiken ari tu gi shah alam, ingat nak gi amik air masjid. memula pegi restoran syed, seksyen 3, pekena roti canai. member lak pekena tosai. oder lak ayam tandoori. tgh asek mkn, ternampak ler klasmet kat itm dulu ngan anak2 ngan laki dia. borak2 ler kejap. pahtu gi stadium shah alam, ingat nak jupe member. dia kata main futsal. nak masuk stadium fulamak jem giler. patut ler, hari belia 2005 ghupenyer. nampak ler keter br je eksiden dpn concorde shah alam tu, lam 4 buah gak tu. yg kat tengah2 lak remuk depan blakang, tak silap aku 3 wira, 1 satria. fuhh padahal kat trafik light tu. dasyat tul! dah eksiden tu, mula ler ramai pulis trapik duk jaga. kat bulatan dpn sana pun ada gak. duk tgh layan jem tu, usha ler keter belah kanan.. tetiba nampak lak keter grup Antera yg dorang guna wat belakon lam citer budak genius ari tu, keter yg si jehan ngan fendi duk guna. fulamak caya laa! sticker mmg cun! nak masuk stadium pun satu hal, jem. ramai tul org. duk raun2 kat gerai2 kat situ pahtu gi tgk futsal. ramai tul puak2 PLU kat situ. member kol ler kawan tu, ghupe2nyer jadik urusetia kat situ jer. nampak cam mendung, tetiba lak ujan. gi berteduh kat bangsal dpn pada pameran keter. dpn kitorang ada keter2 yg dah di modified canteeekk punyer. siap pakai accessories macam2, mmg cun arr. kebanyakan nyer keter mira yg diubah jadik keter hello kitty, bubble, spiderman dan mcm2 lagi ler. sementara tunggu ujan stop, gi monom dulu kat gerai. on d way balik, sempat gak member rembat sticker soploh hengget 3... turun jer dari situ, terus tampal kat keter. ada 'greedy' tul2 kat dpn kembara dia tu.. bukan main suka lagi dia..

kuar dari stadium, baru ler gi carik air kat masjid. kira gamble jer nie. memula masuk s.19,takde kolah. gi s.17 n s.16, takde gak. tanye pakcik yg kat masjid s.17 tu, dia bgtau dkt padang jawa ngan s.16 jer ada yg berkolah. berpusing2 satu shah alam tu sepanjang ari. mujur ler jupe yg kat s.16. dapat sebotol. pusing ke padang jawa, dapat sebotol gak. on d way masuk balik s.7, pusing2 dulu situ. ingatkan masjid kat tgh2 tu, ghuper nyer surau. pusing balik ke s.8. takde gak, last2 singgah mkn kat s.9. pekena nasik tapi ya ampun mahal giler. ayam masak merah seketul jer dah 4hengget. cekek darah tul. dah penat kat shah alam, balik kl. lalu kat area kerinci, teringat ari tu ada nampak masjid, tapi takde gak kolah. makcik kat situ bgtau, kat masjid pantai dalam ada kolah. kluar balik gi masjid kat pantai dalam, dpt sebotol. on d way back, singgah pasar malam bangsar. penat ya amat tapi dah nampak cam meriah jer pasar malam tu, singgah gak laa..hehehe beli sepasu pokok rose ngan tanah n baja skali..baru ler balik umah. penatnyer ya rabbi..terus mandi dan malam tido awal. soknyer lak keje..

oh ya.. sabtu malam tu tetiba lak nak mengacau org2 lama. amik tepon member, tekan satu-satu nombor yg mana dah lama tak kontek. memula budak shah alam tu, kawan lama member nie. last dulu member kontek dia tahun lepas. tup2 nak masuk setengah tahun dah, baru kol balik. everything's goin' fine. pahtu kol lak si yat, bukan main lagi dia skrg, asek turun kuantan jer. almaklumler, awek duk sana. then terai kol kawan lama aku, agaknyer dia dah tukar nombor kot. asek laa masuk mailbox. then teringat laa sorang lagi budak forum nie. hehehe per lagi, dail ler nombor tu. mujur simpan lam phonebook. duk kacau2 ler sampai duk teka sapa2. last2 bgtau baru laa tergelak2 dia dpt unexpected call cenggitu.. so skrg nie, dah kontek sume yg nak dikontek. lega...

EpiLoG ~ Satukanlah

satukan seperti kilatan
yang membelah langit
hingga kau bisa mengundang
hujan yang ditunggu berjuta insan
setelah itu jadilah air
yang melepaskan dahaga makhluk
juga melepaskan dahaga
tanah yang meretak
hingga saat kau kembali padanya
tanah-tanah itu memelukmu
dengan penuh kasih sayang

satukan seperti keris dan warangkanya
hingga kau takkan membuat
telaga darah dari ujung lancipnya
setelah itu jadilah
bunga setaman yang melelapkannya
hingga saat hantu-hantu datang membayangi
kemudian pergi setelah
menghirup wangi aromanya

satukan seperti jiwa dan ragamu
hingga kau dapat tahu
sedih atau senang dalam hatimu
lalu setelah itu jadilah dirimu
agar kau tahu bahwa waktu
selalu menjemput dan melepas kepergianmu
berlaksa gerbang terlihat dan terlalui
ditiangnya terpahat
jawab yang musti kau kaji

ari nie lagu jiwang sket sbb pagi2 lagi aku dah dgr lagu nie dari pc depan sana. kuat gak ekk dia bukak sbb leh dgr clear kat tempat aku nie.. moh kita layan.

SRIKANDI CINTAKU
Dingin malam
Tirai kenanganku
Menyerlahkan sekurun ingatan
Terciptalah rimba kehidupan
Percintaan dalam perjuangan

Kesetiaan sebagai bekalan
Bisikanmu penuh pengharapan
Tiada garis dapat memisahkan
Segalanya kudratMu Tuhan

Alam bagai mengerti
Segala yang terjadi
Embun menitis panas simpati
Pertemuan tiada awal akhir

Perutusan berdarah kuterima
Gugur kuntum di tengah halaman
Medan ini kurasakan sepi
Terpaku pilu

Kusemaikan pepohon kemboja
Dan bunganya adalah hatiku
Semadilah dalam kedamaian
Semangatku tetap bersamamu

Kan kuusung oh jenazah cinta
Semadikan nisan kasih suci
Semangatmu tetap bersamaku
Selama pasti

Debu malam meragut kenangan
Menyedarkan dari lamunanku
Percintaan dalam perjuangan
Kau abadi
Srikandi cintaku....

Ohoooo ohooooo

30/4/05

2005-04-30T22:27:00.000+08:00

aktibiti sepanjang bulan April..

- 2hb ~ sabtu pertama
- 11hb ~ lunch appointment
- 15hb ~ anni.7th
- 16hb ~ besdey suli
- 16hb ~ sabtu ke-3
- 21hb ~ Maulidur Rasul
- 23hb ~ sabtu off
- 24hb ~ besdey wani
- 29hb ~ balik Ganu
- 30hb ~ sabtu off

21/4/05

2005-04-21T23:22:00.000+08:00

selamat menyambut maulidur rasul ..sememangnyer ari cuti utk seluruh malaysia. pagi nie awal gak aku bangun sbb nak teman member gi pudu raya carik tiket balik kampung. salunye drive tapi kali nie dia nak naik bas psl nanti balik kl semula naik keter adik dia. keter baru beli tuh, hyundai Getz. emm bekpes lebey kurang terus gamble carik tiket utk dia. duk raun2 kat pudu tu, ya ampun, pagi2 pun leh berpeloh. lom jam 10am lagi tu. carik kat transnational, dah abih yg pagi. yg ada pun jam 1.30pm, lambat sgt dah tu. gi ronda side lagi satu, ada konsortium bas. mujur laa ada tiket jam 9.45am. berpeloh2 laa kat situ sbb panas sgt .. pulak tu bas lambat lak gerak, kata 9.45am last2 geram jam 10.05am. dah bas gerak, aku pun chow balik umah. sampai kat area umah, tapau nasik lemak utk adik ngan mihun gurin utk aku. sampai umah berpeluh2, panas ya amat.

petang lepak2 kat dpn tgk tv. mata dah ngantuk dah, rasa tak larat. mujur tak tido kat ruang tamu kalo tak sure bising ngan bunyi lilo ngan kiddi tu. aku start tido dari jam 2.45pm hingga ler aku sedor jam 5.35pm. mujur ler aku tak bangun mengejut, kalo dak sure pening paler. nak elakkan dari pening paler tu jadik, terus mandi kasik segar2 sket badan. mata rasa berat sgt nak bukak tapi takkan nak tido sampai maghrib kan. pahtu baru mkn nasik yg ada lam periuk letrik tu. mujur ok lagi, tak basi, sambil layan citer cine kat tv3.

malam, duk layan the sims sepanjang malam. tak tido sampai pagi terus sambung gi keje. oh ya, seblom tu tgk explorace final .. sempat aku pause sims tu semata2 nak layan siri akhir nie. mmg beh laa! persaingan mmg tough. newey, congrats kat narin ngan hanif yg berjaya membolot 100ribu hengget tu.. well done! dan jugak layan gak fear factor yg menang 1juta tu. fulamak, tak sangka minah yg kecik ngan kapel dia leh menang. masa last action yg dorang buat tu, mmg aku bajek dorang akan kalah tapi tak. at last, dorang menang gak. caya laa.. pas tgk tu, aku layan sims sampai pagi tanpa tido. nie laa dia gara2 tido petang. lenkali takleh buat dah..

Maulidur Rasul: Apakah yang diperingati?

MUNGKIN dalam memperingati hari keputeraan Rasulullah s.a.w ini kita boleh bertanya diri kita apakah yang seharusnya kita peringati ketika menyambut peristiwa besar ini?

Apakah kita hanya menyambutnya sebagai rutin biasa, iaitu kerana ia disambut setiap tahun maka kita juga haruslah menyambutnya pada tahun ini dengan istiadat perarakan, pembacaan berzanji, ceramah dan sebagainya.

Atau lebih daripada itu kita menyambutnya dengan penuh keinsafan dan kesedaran untuk mempelajari sejarah kehidupan dan perjuangan Baginda sebagai asas bagi pembangunan hidup kita sendiri dan generasi yang akan datang.

Bagi saya bentuk sambutan adalah merupakan sesuatu yang terserah kepada kebijaksanaan berbagai pihak yang mengaturnya asalkan ia tidak bertentangan dengan prinsip dan ajaran agama. Yang amat penting dalam sambutan ini ialah mendapatkan sesuatu yang akan menjadi bekalan yang baik bagi kehidupan kita sebagai individu dan satu umat yang besar dalam meneruskan aktiviti dan perjuangan hidup yang lebih bermakna pada masa hadapan.

Saya merasakan bahawa dalam keadaan kekacauan pemikiran yang kita hadapi pada masa ini akibat daripada beberapa kegawatan lain yang berlaku di dalam masyarakat kita, iaitu yang disebabkan oleh gangguan dari luar atau akibat daripada keruncingan yang kita ciptakan sendiri, maka terdapat beberapa perkara yang perlu diberikan perhatian serius terhadap perjuangan baginda Rasulullah s.a.w dan kejayaannya.

Mungkin kita perlu bertanya, apakah rahsia dan kunci kejayaan Baginda di dalam menyampaikan agama dan risalah yang diamanahkan Allah s.w.t kepada baginda untuk disampaikan kepada umat manusia keseluruhannya? Terlalu banyak fakta sejarah dan catatan hidup Baginda yang menjelaskan kepada kita tentang kejayaan Baginda di dalam perjuangannya yang amat sukar itu.

Kunci kejayaan Baginda adalah merupakan kunci kejayaan bagi perjuangan setiap individu di mana saja mereka berada dan pada zaman mana sekalipun.

Kunci kejayaan Baginda adalah kunci kejayaan yang bersifat sejagat, universal dan menjadi panduan bagi masyarakat Islam dan bukan Islam buat selama-lamanya.

Rahsia dan kunci kejayaan Baginda dapatlah dirumuskan sebagai berikut:

* Keperibadian dan perwatakan Baginda yang sempurna

* Akhlak dan tingkah laku Baginda yang amat terpuji

* Pembicaraan dan perkataan baginda yang selari dengan perbuatannya

* Mempunyai sifat bijaksana atau berhikmah dalam tindakannya.

Kesempurnaan peribadi, akhlak dan tingkah laku serta sifat hikmah Baginda merupakan idealisme keunggulan seorang insan yang tentunya amat jauh bagi manusia biasa seperti kita pada hari ini untuk memilikinya. Bagaimana matlamat idealisme ini seharusnyalah menjadi cita-cita bagi setiap orang manusia, khususnya orang Islam, bagi memilikinya sempena menyambut keputeraan Baginda pada hari ini.

Untuk lebih menjelaskan kedudukan ini, cubalah renungkan ayat al-Quran yang menjelaskan begini: ''Sesungguhnya pada diri Rasulullah itu contoh teladan yang baik bagi kamu''. (Suruh al-Ahzab, ayat 21).

Ibn Kathir ketika mentafsirkan ayat yang tersebut menjelaskan bahawa Baginda Rasulullah s.a.w dapat diteladani di dalam aspek-aspek berikut:

* Dalam perkataannya Baginda menjadi ikutan sebagai insan yang berbicara sesuatu dari hati nuraninya yang ikhlas. Baginda tidak berbicara dan berkata sesuatu yang tidak diperlukan, apa lagi yang sia-sia.

Baginda berbicara sesuatu yang mempunyai hubungan dengan kepentingan umat dengan bahasa komunikatif yang mudah difahami. baginda sentiasa jujur dan benar, sehingga Baginda memesan bahawa sesiapa yang beriman dengan Allah dan hari akhirat hendaklah ia bercakap yang baik, atau ia diam sahaja.

* Dalam tindakan dan perbuatannya, Baginda sentiasa menyesuaikan perbuatannya dengan pengucapannya. Ketika Baginda meminta orang lain berbuat baik, maka Bagindalah yang terlebih dahulu melakukannya. Dalam banyak hal Baginda melakukan sesuatu sebelum meminta orang lain melakukannya seperti perbuatan sembahyang iaitu ketika Baginda bersabda ''Sembahyanglah kamu sebagaimana kamu melihat aku sembahyang.''

Pada akhlak dan tingkah lakunya, Baginda adalah seunggul-unggul manusia yang mendapat pengiktirafan dari Allah s.w.t seperti firman-Nya di dalam surah al-Qalam, ayat 4 ''Sesungguhnya engkau (wahai Muhammad) memiliki akhlak yang agung.'' Hikmah Baginda dalam berkomunikasi dan berurusan dengan kawan dan lawan diterangkan oleh Allah s.w.t di dalam surah Ali 'Imran, ayat 159: ''Maka disebabkan rahmat daripada Allah, kamu berlaku lemah lembut terhadap mereka. Sekiranya kamu bersikap keras lagi berhati kasar, tentulah mereka menjauhkan diri dari sekelilingnya''.

Demikianlah penjelasan tentang keperibadian baginda Nabi kita Muhammad s.a.w yang kelihatan amat mudah tetapi amat sukar dipraktikkan. Namun pokok perbicaraan ialah yang sering kita ulang-ulangkan saban tahun di merata-rata tempat, terutamanya pada bulan ini dan perbicaraan itu juga nampaknya menjadi hidangan biasa di majlis-majlis keramaian yang tidak memberi kesan sewajarnya. Namun yang menyedihkan semakin banyak peringatan itu diberi dan semakin kerap kita melaung-laungkan ajaran itu, semakin menjadi-jadi kegawatan pada percakapan, perbuatan, tingkah laku dan akhlak umat kita, termasuk orang-orang yang melaung-laungkan slogan itu sendiri. Pembicaraan kita menjadi semakin kasar dan kesat, perbuatan kita menjadi terlalu ganas dan tidak beradab, malah akhlak dan moral kita mencerminkan sifat angkuh dan tidak berperadaban.

Kalau begitulah keadaannya, terutamanya bagi orang-orang yang mewarisi tradisi unggul para Nabi dan Wali, maka apakah yang kita harapkan lagi daripada orang-orang lain yang amat memerlukan bimbingan dan teladan mereka? Yang lebih membingungkan kita lagi, apakah agaknya yang kita peringati semasa menyambut keputeraan Baginda Rasulullah s.a.w ini?

ari nie takde lagu tapi kita perbanyakkan Selawat utk junjungan kita, Nabi Muhammad S.A.W..

Keutamaan Selawat

Setiap umat Islam berkewajipan mengasihi atau mencintai Allah dan Rasulullah. Bukti seseorang itu berbuat demikian ialah dengan mengerjakan segala suruhan Allah dan meninggalkan segala larangan-Nya.

Umat Islam kini memang banyak mengakui beriman kepada Allah dan mengasihi Rasulullah. Tetapi sejauh manakah kebenaran pengakuan itu, jika terus enggan mengerjakan suruhan-suruhan Allah dan berselawat kepada Rasulullah?

Berselawat kepada Nabi Muhammad adalah salah satu bukti kecintaan seseorang itu kepada Allah dan Rasulullah. la tidak sewajarnya dipandang ringan oleh setiap umat Islam. Ini sesuai dengan kedudukan selawat itu sendiri yang memiliki berbagai keistimewaan dan kelebihan di sisi Allah.

Makna secara umum selawat adalah jamak dari kalimat solat. Di segi bahasa pula, ia bererti doa, rahmat dari Allah, memberi berkah dan ibadat. Dalam pengertian yang lebih luas, berselawat kepada Nabi Muhammad bererti memperbesarkan, mengagungkan serta mendukung perjuangannya yang mulia, di samping melahirkan rasa syukur atas perutusannya yang menjadi rahmat seluruh alam ini, malah menambahkan keyakinan beramal dengan sunnahnya yang diredhai Allah.

Sejajar dengan itu, selawat kepada Nabi Muhammad merupakan ibadah yang mulia dan terpuji. la mengandungi berbagai-bagai kelebihan dan mendapat pertolongan dan perlindungan yang istimewa dari Nabi Muhammad serta memperolehi ganjaran yang besar dari Allah di hari akhirat kelak.

Kelebihan atau keistimewaan selawat antara lain dijelaskan Allah menerusi firman-Nya yang bermaksud: "Sesungguhnya Allah dan para malaikat-Nya selawat kepada Nabi. Hai orang-orang yang beriman berselawatlah kamu kepadanya dan ucaplah salam penghormatan kepadanya. " (Surah Al-Ahzab: 56).

Antara hadis-hadis yang menyatakan tentang kelebihan selawat ke atas Rasulullah ialah:

1. "Barang siapa yang berselawat kepadaku pada waktu pagi sepuluh kali dan pada waktu petang sepuluh kali, ia akan memperolehi syafaatku pada hari kiamat. " (Riwayat Tabrani).

2. "Barang siapa berselawat kepadaku di sisi kuburku maka aku mendengarnya, barang siapa berselawat kepadaku dari jauh maka, selawat itu diserahkan oleh seorang malaikat yang menyampaikan kepadaku dan ia dicukupi urusan keduniaan dan keakhiratan dan aku sebagai saksi dan pembela baginya.” (Riwayat Al Baihaqi dan Al Khatib).

3. "Barang siapa berselawat kepadaku satu kali, maka Allah berselawat kepadanya sepuluh kali selawat dan Allah menghapuskan sepuluh kesalahan (dosa) dan mengangkat sepuluh darjat kepadanya." (Riwayat Ahmad, Nasai dan Al Hakim).

4. Dari Ubai bin Ka 'ab: "Aku bertanya, wahai Rasulullah! Sesungguhnya aku memperbanyakkan selawat, maka berapakah aku jadikan untukmu dari selawatku? Nabi bersabda: Apa yang kamu kehendaki. la berkata: kataku: "Seperempat." Sabda Nabi: "Apa yang kamu sukai dan jika kamu tambah maka itu yang lebih baik bagi kamu." Kataku: "Apakah sepertiga? " Sabda Nabi: "Apa yang kamu sukai, jika kamu tambah itulah yang lebih baik bagi kamu." la bertanya: "Apakah aku jadikan selawatku buatmu semuanya." Nabi bersabda: "Jika demikian maka dicukupilah cita-citamu dan diampuni dosamu." (Riwayat Ahmad, Tirmizi dan Al Hakam).

5."Berselawatlah kamu kepadaku, kerana selawat itu menjadi zakat (penghening jiwa pembersih dosa) bagimu." (Riwayat Ibnu Murdawaih).

6. "Barang siapa berselawat kepadaku dalam sehari seratus kali, maka Allah mendatangkan baginya seratus hajat, tujuh puluh untuk akhirat dan tigapuluh untuk dunianya. " (Riwayat Ibnu Majar dan Jabir).

7. "Barang siapa berselawat kepadaku dalam sehari seribu kali, maka ia tidak akan mati sehingga ia digembirakan dengan syurga." (Riwayat Abus Syaikh dari Anas).

8."Orang yang bakhil ialah yang bila disebut namaku kepadanya, lalu ia tidak mahu berselawat kepadaku.” (Riwayat Tirmizi).

Di dalam kitab Ibnu Farhun Al Qurthubi dinyatakan bahawa membaca selawat kepada nabi mengandungi sepuluh faedah dan mendatangkan kemuliaan, iaitu:

Memperolehi selawat dari Allah.

Memperolehi syafaat dari Nabi Muhammad.

Mendapat pimpinan dari malaikat yang baik-baik.

Menghapuskan dosa.

Mendapat pertolongan

Tercapai keperluan hidup.

Mempunyai pembeza dengan orang munafik dan kafir.

Memperolehi nur zahir dan batin.

Mendapat keselamatan dari azab neraka, membolehkan memasuki syurga.

Memperolehi ucap selamat dari Allah.

Menurut para ulama yang didasarkan keterangan-keterangan hadis, membaca selawat kepada Nabi Muhammad akan memperolehi 30 faedah yang amat besar. Di antaranya ialah memperolehi limpah rahmat dari Allah, ditulis sepuluh kebajikan, dihapuskan sepuluh kesalahan, diangkat sepuluh darjat, memperolehi kesempurnaan iman, memperolehi syafaat Nabi Muhammad dan lain-lain lagi.

Justeru itu, marilah kita sebagai umat Islam sentiasa berselawat kepada Rasulullah. Itu tandanya kita sangat mencintai Rasulullah yang menjadi kekasih Allah

17/4/05

2005-04-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

ahad. bangun awal laa jugak (10.30am), member umah buat cokodok. sambil mkn sambil borak pahtu tgk melodi dulu. mandi sesiap sbb aku taknak pakai topi ari nie, maka aku pun diironkan rambut oleh adik aku nak kasik yg gulung2 dpn nie lurus sket. haa.. bila dah siap, baru leh padankan ngan baju per nak pakai. pekena t-shirt kolar kaler putih ngan jeans jer.. haa.. tapi chilakak tul laa, member kata rambut aku cam rambut si khai dambaan pilu tuu.. ada ker patut! .. mmg tak patut kan. dah sesiap tu, gi klinik jap temankan member sbb tak sehat perut. dokte kata dia kena gastrik, lagi pulak banyak angin lam perut dia. dapat ler obat tapi tgk ler samada dia leh abihkan ker idak..

pas gi klinik tu, member tanye aku nak gi mana. aku ajak ler dia gi shah alam, nak sedapkan ati sbb semalam kata nak gi tapi tak gi. tuju ke tasik shah alam then lunch kat kedai kopi. kedai nie tul2 kat tepi tasik shah alam yg mengadap restoran terapung tu.pekena sifud mi ngan teh o es, member lak hongkong me ngan es lemen ti.. dap gak sbb guna mi megi. kenyang gilos tapi shah alam mmg panas. pas mkn gi jenjalan kat plaza alam sentral. raun2 jer lam tu sbb tak tau nak beli per. last2 singgah kat tempat mknan kat bwh plaza alam tu beli eskrem. dap sunggoh laa.. dah on d way nak balik tu, skali ujan ya amat lebat turun. terpaksa ler patah balik ke shah alam. mujur dkt bulatan kayangan tu, at least leh laa masuk area shah alam. dah tak tau nak gi mana, suggest gi shah alam mall.. mujur ada parking bwh, takder ler takut sgt nak lepak lam keter. sap okok sebatang kasik panas badan baru jalan2 lam shah alam mall tuu.. penat sunggoh laa kaki.. tambah lak rasa nak demam .. ngan idong beringos lagihiyerrr..

malam, sampai umah dah dkt jam 8mlm. tu pun kira jalan ok laa sbb tak jem teruk, nak2 ahad petang kan. so, mandi dulu baru tgk tv. lambat gak tido sbb tgk apprentice, kevin ngan sandy yg kuar. sok keje.. !

EpiLoG ~ Ingin ku Ikuti Langkah Taufan
katub jiwa ini telah lelah atur kehendakmu
singa perangai; engkau padaku
lihatlah, kau tlah melukis garis-garis merah
sekujur tubuhku
indah untukmu

kau pempat labirin otakku, hingga
alirnya terputus-putus langlangmu
beruk tertutup telapak tanganmu
ranting-ranting tubuh terinjak telapak kakimu

ingin ku ikuti langkah topan
bersama tercabutnya akar tunggangku
mengambang di lautan

lagu nie glemer masa aku skolah menengah dulu. kalo dgr lagu nie, mesti aku teringat ujan sbb masa lagu nie tgh top, ganu tgh alami musim tengkujuh. pulak tu, taim nie julia rais tgh glemer.. hehehe..

Iklim ~ Suci Dalam Debu
Engkau bagai air yang jernih
Di dalam bekas yang berdebu
Zahirnya kotoran itu terlihat
Kesucian terlinding jua

Cinta bukan hanya di mata
Cinta hadir di dalam jiwa
Biarlah salah di mata mereka
Biar perbezaan terlihat antara kita

Kuharapkan kau kan terima
Walau dipandang hina
Namun hakikat cinta kita
Kita yang rasa

Suatu hari nanti
Pastikan bercahaya
Pintu akan terbuka
Kita langkah bersama

Di situ kita lihat
Bersinarlah hakikat
Debu jadi permata
Hina jadi mulia

Bukan khayalan yang aku berikan
Tapi keyakinan yang nyata
Kerana cinta lautan berapi
Pasti akan kurenang jua

16/4/05

2005-04-16T22:31:00.001+08:00

sabtu. ari nie besdey adik aku, suelie yg ke-25. adiah dah bagi awal dua minggu dari besdey dia. wolet converse kaler pink. suka dia masa dpt wolet tu. member lak kasik patung lembu psl dia tau adik aku tu suka lembu (dia kasik nama lembu tu, moo). so, pagi nie bangun awal sbb nak bekpes kat kedai mamak Lotus, Bangsar tu. pekena nasik lemak ngan teh o es dan member pekena puri ngan teh o es gak. member banjer adik ngan bopren adik skali .. metaceh.. pahtu gerak gi bangsar village. nampak pokok bunga rose lam pasu, cantik tapi mahal-rm19.90. hushhh..kang mati lagi pokok tu, sajer ler. dah tu, terus gi mikveli psl kalo gi awal2 takde problem parking. ronda2 jer psl takde mende nak beli pun, kecuali barang2 dapur jer laa.. member singgah kat gerai kat area wayang sbb nak beli casing empon dia. tah mana tah ilang yg dia punyer ari tu, terjatuh for sure org amik. emm.. dah penat2 jenjalan tu singgah carrefour beli barang dapur. bajek2 adalaa 30hengget, cukup pun. beli lauk utk minggu depan psl lam peti takde lauk dah. ada ler beli sayur2, ayam ngan pedal sekali.

balik umah terus potong2 ayam ngan siang ikan seblom letak lam peti es. sbb kalo dah letak lam tu, mmg beku laa nanti tak beh nak potong2. sambil potong2 tu, bajek laa nak buat ayam panggang sket, lam 3 ketul jer. dah siap potong ikan ngan ayam tu, terus sediakan barang2 utk perap ayam dan jugak utk buat mi rebus. .. tgh ralik2 bersurirumah kat dapur tu, tetiba teringat yg sepupu member konvo petang tu, langsung lupe nak gi.. astagfirullahal'azim..! cemana aku leh lupe neh! patut ler member tadi kata "tak gi shah alam".. aku ingatkan psl dia kata nak lepak kat tasik..hayyaa... tak suker ghaser bersalah gini psl konvo tu sekali jer lam sepanjang tempoh blajar kat shah alam tu. sowey sbb tak ingat!

malam lak layan shin chan pahtu sambung tgk citer kat tv. tak lupe, one tree hill sambil2 tu layan cerekarama kesetiaan kat tv3. citer nie ok cuma ending nie bodow sket psl watak umi aida tu patut dipanjangkan utk buat mak mertua dia, azian tu jadik giler psl umi stil idop lagi ..watak azian mmg menjadik taim dia saiko menantu dia tapi yg ending tu cam citer duaposen (ker per tajuk tu) yg tayang kat astro. kalo dicalonkan, ada harapan azian leh menang.. pahtu sambung lak tgk queer eye..cam bese, tido lambat ler jawabnye.. sok nak bangun awal lagi sbb nak teman member gi klinik.

kad besdey utk suelie..

EpiLoG ~ Biarlah Hanya Dalam Angan

Dan bila lentera angan dinyalakan
yang tampak hanyalah
bentangan kekaguman
tentang keindahanmu
yang memabukkan jiwa

kemudian engkau mulai memamerkannya
diatas panggung pesona
meliuk-liuk memberi
warna kemegahan singgasana
dan dengan sorot mata menggoda
kau ulurkan tangan liarmu padaku
yang bersendirian
berpelukan dengan kesepian

ah, kulitmu terlalu halus
untuk menggengam tangan kasarku
hingga ku tak mau karenanya
kulitmu tergores kuku-kuku hitamku
biarlah kau hanya menjadi
bidadari dalam anganku
walau kutahu engkau nyata
berikan jelingmu

malam baru nie duk galak karoke lagu nie. tiap kali dgr lagu nie, mesti aku membayangkan pokok yg merimbun pahtu daun2 gugur (ala2 daun lam citer mohabbatein) sbb rangkap pertama tu sebut psl daun gugur dari pokok.. hehehe.. lagu nie tak ingat lak aku tahun berapa tapi aku dah skolah menengah ghaser2nyer. kira lagu zaman remaja laa nie.. cam lama lak tak dgr, beh gak .. moh kita layan.

Rahim Maarof ~ Usang
Helaian daunan
Yang gugur dari pohon
Mengingatkan daku
Saat dikau berlalu
Sesepi tangkaimu
Begitulah hatiku
Terasing sendiri
Meniti hari

Sejauh manakah
Terdaya ku meredah
Melepaskan diri
Dari belenggu ini
Dipanggang dibakar
Ia takkan pudar
Seraut wajahmu Ku rindu

( korus )
Memori yang usang
Bagai bara merah
Kurasa hangat bahang
Yang menujah (menyala)

Memori yang usang
Mengekori langkah
Diusir dibuang tak terpadam

( solo )

( ulang korus )

sayangnya hatimu
Sepejal tembok batu
Tak bisa dirayu
Dengan airmatamu

Terbuku di hati
Dengan kedegilanmu
Tak daya ku tawan semula
La.. La... Oh... Oh...
La... La... Oh... Oh...
La... La... La... La...
Oh... Oh... Oh... Oh...

10/4/05

2005-04-10T10:24:00.000+08:00

wah.. ahad dah! bangun tido lambat gak laa (11am) psl mlm tadi tido lambat. pekena roti sekeping ngan teh tarik segera je sbb aku nak kena mkn obat. baring2 sambil layan melodi. tah ler sakit kepala ya amat lak ngan perut tak beh lagi tu hah.

tengahari tak tau nak plan per, member pun ajak gi makan kat kampung baru. pekena kedai ikan bakar yg adik aku salu citer tu. ingatkan susah sgt nak gi sana, ghupe nyer senang jer. yg problem kat situ ialah parking psl kena park kat tepi2 jalan. dah sampai kat warung tu (lupe lak nama tempat tu), terus tuju tempat lauk. fulamak, mmg banyak tul! aku amik nasik putih penoh pinggan, budu sepiring, masak lemak pucuk paku yg selambak atas nasik, mangga muda yg dibuat ulam, petai lam 9ketul (abih neh) ngan ikan bakar sekor. hushh..sedap sunggoh laa! tapi hanyir ikan gak laa tangan nie psl takde sabun. nak ilangkan, aku bantai letak losen. pas kenyang2 tu, gi lak sogo. saje jer sbb tak tau nak rewang2 mana dah. ahad mmg ramai bebudak punker lepak dpn sogo tu, aku pelik ler naper pak guard/polis tak tegur dorang melepak sesuker ati dpn tu. bukan per, nampak cam tah per2..lagipun, tak elok pemandangan gitu utk pelancong2 asing. kalo aku gi sorang pun aku rasa semacam jer tgk dorang, mana ler tau kot2 ada yg jenis meragut ker hapa ker.. skali dgr dielek dorang ckp, mmg sah dari pantai timur. naik malu gak aku psl per, nampak sgt dorang2 nie takde keje dah nak wat selain melepak bodo2 gitu. emm.. pakaian tak tentu hala, baju kotor.. agaknyer dorang ingat cantek kot bila pakai gitu. bau toksah citer ler, bau tungkik (bak kata member).. bagi aku laa kan, pe salahnyer dorang pakai t-shirt ngan jeans biasa, toksah laa nak sentengkan suar semata2 nak tunjukkan dorang tu cemana! tak molek sunggoh laa.. bukan aku nak kondem tapi nie ler hakikatnyer budak2 melayu kita yg jenis2 gitu. pas gi sogo rasa penat lak. singgah kat maju junction lak, pekena abc ngan lichikang. lega laa jugak betis yg rasa lembik nie (sbb aku mkn obat kot)..pastu baru balik umah.. fuhh..

malam, pas mandi aku bukak tv jap. layan tgk Hitz final kat tv1. seblom tu langsung aku lupe ada rancangan nie. sempat tgk ruffedge ngan lagu goyang seblom gi kuar makan kat bwh. tapi cam bese ler, rtm kalo saun tak problem mmg tak sah. pekena sate ngan air teh o es cam bese ler. balik umah sambung tgk hitz tu lagi. sempat ler ngan lagu2 mcm lagu rindu dan terhangat dipasaran. cam bese ler, pemenang didominasi (ewah) oleh penyanyi no.1 negara, cik siti tu laa. kira dia bolot mlm tu sampai 35ribu hengget. fuh mmg rezeki dia laa. tapi mujur misha yg menang tempat pertama, at least ada org leh kalahkan siti tu ..hehehe.. cam biasa, azwan ali ada ajer nak wat kontroversi. masa nak umumkan pemenang, dia mention psl "dulu bertiga dan skrg dah berempat", aku dah siap tepuk tangan ingatkan kru ngan adam af2 yg menang. skali ghupe2 nyer yg dah berempat tu adalah penulis lirik/pencipta lagu pulangkan yg dimenangi oleh misha tu. punyer ler aku bengang! sbb per, aku tul2 ingatkan kru yg menang, lagipun dorang nyer performance beh gak. azwan nie kang ada lagi skali kena komen ngan peminat2 neh..! well, overall beh gak laa hitz akhir nie. pas citer nie, layan lak the apprentice yg mana tinggal final 4 (lepas ivana dikeluokan minggu ni).. baru ler masuk tido, ngantuk wehhh...

EpiLoG ~ Perinduku
ku dengar mereka memanggil
ku dengar
sekawanan perindu di batas kota
tempatku meletak letih
aku mencintaimu perindu sepertimu juga

bukankah disana ada banyak lukisanku
musik mozaikku
bukankah setiap malam
aku melompatlompat di bibirmu juga
aku hanya sedang melayang
seperti layanglayang
bila kau[para perindu]..
menggulung benang
aku kembali padamu

aku melihatmu dari sini perinduku
seperti kau lihat aku
bercanda dengan angin
bila senja menjelang
gulungilah daku
hingga menyentuh pasir pantaimu

lagu kat bawah nie beh kalo dgr taim2 tgh sedey. bak kata org tu, tangkap jiwang pahtu ayermata leley2 ... hahahaha siyot jer!

Khatijah Ibrahim ~ Ku Pendam Sebuah Duka
Bercinta sudah lama
Berkasih dan bermesra
Sedang enak membuai rasa
Perpisahan tercipta

Mengapa sementara
Cerahnya cinta kita
Mendung tiba tiada ku pinta
Gelapnya suasana

Walaupun hatiku
Amat berat melepasmu
Dan rintangan mendatang sayang
Terpaksa kuleraikan

Seandainya...
Kita harungi jua
Kelak punah semua sayang
Mimpi yang kau harapkan

Ku pasti kau kembali
Menyatu dua hati
Lebih elok cari pengganti
Tiada kau menyendiri

Tak guna disesalkan
Hakikat percintaan
Mungkin terpendam kenikmatan
Sebalik perpisahan...

9/4/05

2005-04-09T11:48:00.000+08:00

yeah...dah pun sabtu. kadang2 satu minggu tu berlalu lambat sgt, kadang2 tu tak sedar langsung. emm.. nak2 pulak kalo minggu tu minggu mengantuk aku, fuh rasa cam sehari tu bagai seminggu, seminggu bagai sebulan weyy! pagi tadi pekena nasik lemak ngan teh o es. lama tak makan kat port tu, sedap lak nasik lemak tadi. abih laa sebukus, mujur tak pedas. malam tadi suh adik aku tapau nasik gurin ikan masin ngan teh o es jer sbg dinner aku. tu pun lambat dia balik - 10.40pm. sambil tgk persembahan dan result american idol. berckp psl american idol, aku rasa unfair keputusan mlm tadi. psl per, anthony tu lagi tak beh compare ngan nikko smith, tapi nak wat cemana sumer atas undian penonton. idol pilihan aku tetap bo bice psl dia nyer suara mmg rok! caya laa...

ok, balik citer psl blog nie. tah ler, rajin lak aku nak mengapdet ari2. hehehe btol bespren aku sorang tu kata, kalo blog gelap mmg akan mempengaruhi mood aku, pasal tu ler aku takde mood nak apdet blog aku yg seblom nie (emily yg gelap).. nie sejak tukar pada yg kalurrs2 nie, tetiap ari lak aku duk sini mengedit itu ini. oh ya, aku baru jer tambah koleksi kat tempat "aku minat" dan "aku suka" yg mana aku letak koleksi pilem2/siri2 yg aku minat tgk kat tv pahtu mende2 yg aku suka kat keliling aku! nanti akan tambah lagi psl ada mende yg aku nak, takde lam koleksi simpanan aku.

well, sok ahad then takde pe2 plan lagi. bespren bgtau kalo ada pulus, mau gak gi sureheboh kat ayer keroh tu.heheh.. dah semput2 tgh bulan gini, payah ler aku nak ada duwit lebey.. tapi tak tau ler kalo2 ada plan saat2 akhir. takpun, aku duk umah jer kot! malam nie nak tgk one tree hill pahtu sambung lak ngan queer eye.. sambil tinjau2 industan kat tv2. tu takleh lupe tu..hehehe.. k laa.. have fun and epi wiken! chowzz..

EpiLoG ~ Langkah Kita

ku tatap matamu
ku sapa dirimu
dengan kerinduan sepanjang jalan
sedari awal langkah
hingga saat ini
sambil ku usap airmata
berleleran di tiap lukisan wajahmu

menghitung waktu
adalah kejenuhan tak tertentu
tak ku hitung kubiarkan saja
berjalan sekehendaknya
ku rakam derum seakan
jejakan langkah kaki
untuk diperdengarkan nanti

ku sulam cahaya
ku simpan cinderamata
dari tiap persimpangan
untuk nanti di pemberhentian kita
adakah?

suka lagu kat bwh nie. aku memula dgr masa sauntrack citer kayote ugly masa ditayangkan lama dulu. suka rentak lagu nie, pahtu senang nak apal..hehehe! bila dgr, leh laa belagak psl tau lirik.hahahah..

LeAnn Rimes ~Can't Fight The Moonlight
Under a lover's sky
I'm gonna be with you
And no one's gonna be around
If you think that you won't fall
Well just wait until, 'till the sun goes down
Underneath the starlight starlight
There's a magical feeling so right
It will steal your heart tonight

You can try to resist
Try to hide from my kiss
But you know, but you know
That you, can't fight the moonlight
Deep in the dark you'll surrender your heart
But you know, but you know
That you, can't fight the moonlight,
No, you can't fight it
It's gonna get to you'r heart

There's no escaping love
Once a gentle breeze (once a gentle breeze)
Sweeps it's spell upon your heart
And no matter what you think
It won't be to long
'Till your in my arms
Underneath the starlight starlight
We'll be lost in the rythm so right
It will steal your heart tonight

You can try to resist
Try to hide from my kiss
But you know, but you know
That you, can't fight the moonlight
Deep in the dark you'll surrender your heart
But you know, but you know
That you, can't fight the moonlight,
No-o you can't fight it
No-o matter what you do
The night is gonna get to you.

(Your gonna know)
(That I know)
Don't try you're never gonna win

Underneath the starlight starlight
There's a magical feeling so right
It will steal your heart tonight

You can try to resist
Try to hide from my kiss
But you know, but you know
That you, can't fight the moonlight
Deep in the dark you'll surrender your heart
But you know, but you know
That you, can't fight the moonlight,
No-o you can't fight it

8/4/05

2005-04-08T17:28:00.000+08:00

ari nie dah pun ari jumaat. taim skrg dah jam 5pm. server teruk dari semalam tapi sempat laa aku tukar lagi skali template baru. member kata ok yg nei psl ada kaler2. lagi pulak, kaler2 gini mmg kena ngan diri aku (menurut kata dia laa) . skrg nie baru je pas ujan, lam opis sejuk so aku pun pekena ler teh tarik segera yg panas2 cicah beskot. tengahari tadi tak lunch psl balik umah - ada hal skit. lagi pulak perut rasa kenyang lagi. nie lak dah sejuk2 pas ujan, perut pun ada jugak rasa kruk2 laa.. karang nak tapau ler pe2 kat area umah tu.

tengahari tadi aku kol umah .. saja nak ckp2 ngan mak n ayah nak tanye2 kabar org umah cemana. mak baru balik dari kebun, pegi ngan ayah. nak tanam jagung balik katanya. dik lya lak suela, maktua ngan ayahki yg jaga sbb abang ngan kak za terpaksa gi ngajar walopon ari jumaat (almaklum jer laa, ganu kan cuti jumaat sabtu). memula borak ngan mak, perkara bese jer kat umah tapi background suara ayah yg brokbrek kat blakang tu lagi kuat. aku suh laa mak paskan tepon kat ayah. saje tanye pebenda dia bising2 tu. kluarlaa citer psl adik aku si suelie tu. kali nie aku tul2 sedey ngan per yg ayah aku ckp, per yg ayah aku kata. aku tau selama nie aku salu wat ayah aku sakit ati, buat ayah marah pahtu bengang kat aku sampai barang2 aku beli campak gitu jer.. mmg nampak rude tapi aku nyesal sbb kalo aku tak bangkitkan kemarahan dia, mesti tak jadik gitu. betapa sedeynyer aku dgr ayat 'kecewa' tu keluar dari mulut ayah aku kat anak dia yg sorang tu. sejahat2 aku pun, dpt gak aku banggakan dorang. emm.. tah ler, mebi sbb aku dah biasa kena ayat2 bisa kot psl tu aku sedar diri, tau diri nie cemana .. tu yg wat aku rasa sedey! tgk diri aku, walopun per jadi, aku cuba tunjuk yg terbaik kat dorang.. tah ler, lain org lain pe'el walopon adikbradik sendiri. takkan nak harapkan aku jer asek tolong diri dia sedangkan diri dia sendiri tak tolong diri dia.. emm.. dah ckp ngan ayah, aku terus rasa down. sampai pening2 paler aku tadi, seb baik pekena okok pat batang..heheh

emm.. lupakan lah hal kat ataih nie. so.. mulai dari semalam/kelmarin, aku akan paste dua menda lam blog aku nie. satu, puisi2 yg aku rasa beh kat ruangan Epilog - yg ada banyak maksud sebalik puisi tu. kedua, aku akan selitkan lagu2 pilihan utk ari nie. maksudnye lagu yg aku layan laa ari2...so, amacam? ok dak? moh kita layan....

EpiLoG - Lihat Aku

berkalang debu menimang bunga-bunga kering
menyapa tiap remang di sudut-sudut kota nyeri
menutup mata menundukkan wajah dari cahaya
itu setapak di tepi kota terinjak-injak becak hujan

lihat aku
memunguti rindu di sela jerami di pasir hitam malam
tanpa penerang hanya mata terpejam jemari basah
terlalu sulit membuka mata sesipit pun jua
engkaukah itu tertawa di balik jendela?
memandangku hiba

lihat aku
berkejaran dengan kunang-kunang
dimana ia berhenti dimanapun aku berhenti
apa peduli!
perasaan memasuki mesin pencacah tanpa kendali
bunga-bunga di genggaman kering berhambur
angin liar....

nie lak lagu yg aku layan semalam lam keter ngan member aku tu. teringat zaman itm masa Gil nie tgh glemer, siap karoke tuh walopon jem.hahahah..jgn ler org luar dgr!

It's Your Love
dancing in the dark
middle of the night
taking your heart
holding it tight
emotional touch
oh, touching my skin
asking you to do
what you've been doing all over again

* oh, it's a beautiful thing
don't think I can keep it all in
i've just gotta let you know
what it is that won't let me go

** it's your love
just does something to me
send a shock right through me
can't get enough
so if you wonder about the spell I'm under
it's your love

better than I was, more than I am
all of that happened, by taking your hand
who I am now is who I've wanted to be
now that we together stronger
than ever happy and free

oh, it's a beatiful thing
don't think I can keep it all in
and if you me ask why I'll change all
i gotta do is say your sweet name

[Repeat **]
[Repeat * , ** , **]

It's your love

7/4/2005

2005-04-07T16:07:00.000+08:00

ari nie kompem aku tukar blog kaler lain lak..hehehe..kasik carik yg cerah2 sket laa baru ceria alam. kira yg emily before this paling lama yg aku guna (yea ke? ).. yg nie pun tak kompem aku akan guna lama psl ada banyak lagi yg sama comey ngan yg nie. ish.. cemana ek?! tak kisah ler asek tukar2 kan.. hehehe..

semalam gi mikveli. benornyer tak tau nak wat per, lagi pulak aku nak survey barang2 lektrik. ari tu ingat nak beli tv sony yg ada set karoke tu skali, tapi tgk kat mana2 kedai elektrik kat mikveli skali ngan carrefour ngan jusco, dah takde. ari tu ada ler nampak kat jusco. mebi dorang kurangkan stok kot. emm.. nampaknyer aku survey digicam ngan mixer wat kuih jer laa.. digicam tu ingat nak wat installment, sbb aku ada berkenan ngan jenama-I, kecik dan comey jer aku tgk. tapi semalam survey, dah tutup lak kedai dia yg lam mikveli tu. so aku pun gi laa survey tempat lain. nampak lak sony vdr yg guna dvd (leh copy-donlod)terus lam cd. lagi ler senang yg tu. harga mmg mahal ler, 3ribu hengget lebeh. tu brp lama aku nak wat installment daa!! dah raun2 tu, singgah begerking, pekena blackpeper set. singgah carrefour beli beras pahtu balik. masa kat parking, nampak sekor anak kucen ngan mama dia. comey sgt, suara ya ampun! kuat gilerss.. tapi comey. naik umah bau bucuk kucen.kuarkan lilo, abih laa dia cakar kaki aku sampai darah lagi. kaki nie pun satu, sensitip sgt skrg nie. pantang luka sket jer, boleh titik2 kuar darah. pelik aku wehh.. pahtu mandikan kiddi ngan lilo. tido lambat gak laa sbb layan citer kat tv.

EpiLoG

tiga element;
di balik air terjun suaraku menggema
aku tenggelam hingga dada
kau tak melihatku karna kau berdiri
di tepi sungai di samping bebatuan
pohonpohon juga deras aliran sungai
menggenggam bajuku yang ku titipkan padamu
sebelum aku berenang menembus air terjun
aku di sebuah gua di balik air terjun
dalam himpitan batu besar
dan mendengar teriakanku sendiri
dan tahukah kamu sesungguhnya ..
aku tak bisa berenang?
maka pada air yang mengalir itu kutitipkan pesan;
"letakkan bajuku di atas batu di samping kirimu,
saatnya nanti akan ku ambil dengan tanganku sendiri
setelah air mengajariku berenang"

beh tak puisi kat atas nie? aku dpt dari salah satu site kat intenet..
bawah nie lak, lagu melly ngan kris dayanti lam soundtrack Tentang Dia, novel nukilan Melly sendiri yg telah dipilemkan.

Cinta - Melly + Krisdayanti

Menapak jalan yg menjauh
tentukan arah yg kumau
tempatkan aku pd sutu peristiwa
yg membuat hati lara

Didekat engkau aku tenang
sendu matamu penuh tanya
misteri hidup akankah menghilang
dan bahagia diakhir cerita

Cinta tegarkan hatiku
tak mau sesuatu merenggut engkau
naluriku berkata
tak ingin terulang lg
kehilangan cinta hati
bagai raga tak bernyawa

Aku junjung petuahmu
cintai dia yg mencintaiku
hatinya luluh belaian kini telah menepi
bukankah hidup kita akhirnya harus bahagia

2005-04-01T10:30:00.000+08:00

ari nie1 april 2005. kejap jer masa berlalu, tup tup dah masuk bulan 4. . bila sebut psl 1 april, mesti org leh bayangkan april fool. mende yg nak di'fool'kan pun aku tak tau. tapi 1 april tahun nie wat aku sedey. sedey sgt!

meh aku citer. malam tadi aku duk borak sambil diskas banyak hal ngan adik aku, suelie, sampai pkul 5am. banyak hal .. memula psl adik aku yg bongsu tu, suela. aku pun tak tau nak wat cemana dah. sejak kenal ngan mamat jongos tu, prangai terus jadik lain. cakap pun kurang dah ngan aku (walopon seblom nie dia jarang borak ngan aku). per lagi nak kluar ngan adik bradik sendiri? buat umah aku pun cam hotel. tah2 datang umah sewa aku pun sbb terpaksa. aku tau ada banyak menda yg aku buat dia tak suka tapi terpaksa diamkan sbb aku kakak. lagi pulak dia tau aku akan hangin! silap aku gak duk tentukan per yg patut dia buat dan beri terlalu banyak tumpuan kat dia. sedey bila suelie bgtau yg suela mempertikaikan naper aku nak kena wat spotcheck kat dia? perluker aku wat spotcheck?.. kecik ati aku siyot! aku ckp, aku buat spotcheck psl aku nak tau per citer dia, dia wat keje soklah ker dak, mana dia gi, dgn sapa dia kluar, SALAH KER? aku ada tanggungjawab kat adik2 aku psl tu aku tanya. mak ayah aku letak harapan kat aku tgk2 budak2 tu, tapi nie ker balasan dorang?? sedey beb .. ! lagi pulak, expect aku akan terima bopren dia as 'adik ipar' aku? urghhh pelizzzz...... aku walo macamana ghupe seseorang tu tapi kalo pe'el/cara dia aku tak suka, jgn harap aku akan terima walopon tu bopren dia. nak kecik ati? lantak ler... bopren ko, bukannyer adik ipar aku pun! huh!!

dah puah aku bengang2 psl suela, sambung pas tu psl suelie lak - psl diri dia, mende dia nak buat, per dia nak jwb ngan ayah, per perancangan masa depan dia, kalo nak sambung blajar sape nak support. walopon kadang2 aku tensen ngan dia tapi aku kesian. kadang2 bengang bila aku suh wat itu ini, taknak buat.. pahtu tau lak rasa down bila tgk org lain bagus jer keje. nie gara2 degree sangkut psl tesis. lagi pulak nak menjawab dgn ayah, uish.. aku mmg serik. selama nie patut laa aku perati jer ingatkan dia akan usahakan something utk diri dia, tapi dia TAK TAU langsung nak wat apa! totally lost. nak jugak aku pikirkan jalan utk dia.. so aku suggest dia masuk maktab perguruan, amik diploma balik utk layakkan dia leh ngajar. takpun sambung kat uitm, amik course senang2 sket. dgn harapan dia boleh buat something utk diri dia BUKAN utk aku atau org len. sbb dia jer boleh ubah takdir idop dia. kalo org lain dah give-up rasanye ada adik yg cenggini. mujur ler aku tapi pahtu aku lak yg tensen.. huh!!

ok laa.. cukup2 laa cite per jadik mlm tadi.. nak citer psl sepanjang minggu nie lak.. pesli, aku mengalami waktu pagi ya amat mengantuk. tetiap pagi seblom jam 10am, mesti aku lelap dulu kat meja nie. mujur gak aku nie tinggi, kalo tak mau aku berlengkoq bawah meja.hehe.. kadang2 aku ghisau gak ngan penyakit nie. lam menaip pun aku leh tersengguk, mujur takde bos. kalo ada bos, tak ker menjajau aku nak lap air liuqbasi.. nie aku agak psl aku mkn obat senin ngan selasa pagi nie.. ish.. takleh jadik, kena stop dulu obat nie. tapi kaki aku makin teruk, nonstop kluar bintik2. dgn lebam yg tak ilang2 psl aku tekan skit jer betis nie. ish! sensitip tul dah darah aku nie, jgn laa jadik per2 kat aku. amin!

so, petang nie aku apply hafday. my mind need a rest! rasa tak beh ler.. sok tak keje, first saturday. wiken nie ingat nak mengemas rumah, rasa cam tak terjaga jer! nak mop kat ruang tamu, buang barang2 lama kat dapur yg memenuhkan kabinet tu..ish.. arap2 wiken nie takde program mengejut lak. eem.. minggu depan keje balik.. hayya..!

EpiLoG DaRi SeoRanG TeMan

kedukaan datang silih berganti
tak pernah memberikan masa yg tepat
hadirnya secara tiba-tiba
menguji ketabahan sekeping hati

ke kiri kau berjalan
langkah kian ke kanan
mengapa? kerna kau di dalam kebuntuan
siang yg indah bagimu umpama malam yg kelam

ingatlah wahai teman
masih ada sinar yg tetap memayungimu
walau hebat manapun badai menghampiri
sinar itu tetap takkan berganjak pergi

tq my fren! so nice..

tgh2 sedey, beh dgr lagu nie slow jer.. sayu pun ada..
tah ler mcm2 aku rasa skrg nie.. meh layan lagu meh...

Alleycats ~ Gerimis Senja

Ku terpegun di jendela bila hujan gerimis senja
Tak ku lihat di hadapan ku diri ku dalam lamunan
Tiada lain yang ku bayangkan hanyalah peristiwa itu
Dosa-dosa yang ku lakukan tetap mengganggu batin

Tanya pada diri apakah ini semua cobaan belaka
Kesal ku tak berakhir menduga keyakinan ku kepadanya
Batin ku menjerit namun tiada suara

Aku cuba menyatukan semua harapan yang berkecai
Tuhan ku bimbingkanlah diri ku agar kesal ku hilang
Gerimis sungguh mencengkam tiada dapat ku tahan lagi
Sungguh-sungguh tak ku menduka hingga jadi begini

25/3/2005

2005-03-25T13:12:00.000+08:00

lama aku tak updet blog nie, dekat sebulan dah ..hehehe. cam suram jer kan! takde idea sebenarnye. senang citer, bila nak updet, internet lak down. bila tgh ok, takde mood lak nak updet. dah cemana kan? sepanjang dah nak abih bulan mac, so far takde mende havoc jadik kat keliling aku. life aku cam bese. gi keje - balik keje. nak gi jenjalan pun, semput duwit maa.. gaji rasa lambat tul. tgk sales kat jusco pun kena tahan perasaan je tau! oh ya,last wiken aku gi appointment kat Tawakal, alhamdulillah takde pe2. urine test aku clear, blood pressure ngan jantung aku ok. harap2 leh recover sendiri (menurut kata dokte la), jgn sampai serang buah pinggang udah ler. timbang pun dah 53.5kg. harap2 leh meningkat lagi mencecah 55kg.

emm baru2 nie hosmet bawak adik dia lepak umah. ya ampun, asek wat aku sakit ati ajer! bukannyer takleh tapi bio ler berpada2. biar hormat sket org rumah yg lain. ni duk berlagak nak mamposs! sampaikan tv member umah tu pun adik dia nak konker. kalo tv kakak dia tu takper ler jugak. yg tu pun sorang, kata ada itu ini tapi satu hampeh pun takde. kalo yea pun suka tgk tv, naper tak bawak tv? buhsan + tensen. dah ler badan macam gajah bukannyer reti nak duduk kat lantai. sampai2 umah jer duk terperuk atas kusi tu tak gerak2 macam laa org nak bawak lari kusi tuu. naik tensen + bebulu mata aku ni nengokkan. pahtu perangai suka tarik pintu toilet mcm nak tercabut, aku tak penah wat gitu! tgk ler nanti kalo datang lagi pahtu wat gitu, mau nyer aku saun. huh! tensen beb tensen! aku sepanjang duk kat umah tu, jarang tgk org tak reti nak hormat barang umah org len. dgn hempas pintu nyer, cukup pantang aku nie hah! kadang2 kan, aku leh terpikir, cemana budak2 jadik gitu kureng kat umah org.. mak pak dorang takkan tak ajar kot? ker mmg dorang jenis kurang ajar?!

petang karang, member ajak ikut dia balik kuantan.

poster utk ari nie..

The Love Squad ~ By Virelle Kidder
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

"Oh, no! Not company!" I groaned, the moment my car rounded the corner and our house came into full view. Usually I'd be thrilled to see four cars lined up in our driveway, but after I spent a weeklong vigil at the hospital with an ill child, my house was a colossal mess. Turning off the car engine, I dragged myself to the front door.

"What are you doing home so soon?" my friend Judie called from the kitchen. "We weren't expecting you for another hour! We thought we'd be long gone before you got home." She walked toward me and gave me a hug, then asked softly, "How are you doing?" Was this my house? Was I dreaming? Everything looked so clean. Where did these flowers come from?

Suddenly more voices, more hugs. Lorraine, smiling and wiping beads of perspiration from her forehead, came up from the family room where she had just finished ironing a mountain of clean clothes. Regina peeked into the kitchen, having finished vacuuming rugs and polishing and dusting furniture in every room in the house. Joan, still upstairs wrestling with the boys' bunk-bed sheets, called down her "Hello," having already brought order out of chaos in all four bedrooms.

"When did you guys get here?" was my last coherent sentence. My tears came in great heaving waves. "How come...how come...you did all this?" I cried unashamedly, every ounce of resistance gone.

I had spent the week praying through a health crisis, begging God for a sense of his presence at the hospital. Instead, he laid a mantle of order, beauty and loving care into our home through these four "angels."

"You rest a while, Virelle," Lorraine said firmly. "Here's your dinner for tonight - there are more meals in the freezer." The table was set with flowers and fancy napkins, and a little gift was at my place. A small banquet was arranged, complete with salad and dessert. "Don't you worry; we're all praying," my friends said. "God has everything under control."

After my friends left, I wandered from room to room, still sobbing from the enormity of their gift of time and work. I found beautiful floral arrangements in every room...and little wrapped gifts on each bed. More tears. In the living room I found a note under a vase filled with peonies. I was to have come home and found it as their only identity: "The Love Squad was here."

And I knew that God had everything under control.

28/2/2005

2005-02-28T09:01:00.000+08:00

HePi 48th BeSDeY, MaK! hari nie ari jadi mak yg ke-48. pagi tadi dah wish, tu pun aku ingat nak kol dari opis tapi mak dah koling2 dulu. heheh..! moga mak panjang umor utk jalankan ibadat kepada Ilahi dan dipanjangkan jodoh ngan ayah. hehe.. adik dah sampai dah kat umah, semalam hantar dia dan kirimkan skali adiah besdey mak - sepasang kain baju kurung berwarna hijau lembut. arap2 mak suka. epi je dgr suara tadi..

emm.. ni lama tak updet blog nie. ekcheli takde idea pahtu takde mood lak aku nak updet..sabtu kelmarin, aku pegi shah alam, nak soping kain nak kasi adiah besdey kat mak. almaklumlah, pas gaji nie sonok sket soping. pegi ngan member. singgah kat sek.9 dulu amik duit pahtu lunch kat shah alam mall. tak kenyang mkn situ - tak sedap. terus gi kedai yg nak dituju tu.. mmg btol sale kat situ, kalo bawak duit ribu2 pun mesti tak cukup. nak2 langsir yg roses 32hengget semeter. kalo dua meter mau dah 64hengget. ish, baik beli baju kurung. tgk punyer tgk, at last beli yg 4 pasang selatus tuu. mmg cantik2, kalo beli biasa, mahal gak tu. tak sedar lama kat kedai tu, sampai dekat 2 jam. pas tu, gi giant sek.13 nak beli barang2 dapur ngan nak bawak gi opis. lebey 50hengget sorang. fuuh!! penat tul.. terus balik umah dgn rasa lembik. tu pun dah dekat jam 10mlm. terus laa tgk american idol sambil tunggu kain lam mesin. banyak lak membasuh kali nie. sok cuti laa katakan.. hehe.. pas berita, sambung lak tgk the haunting kat tv3. sesambil tu masakkan kuah spaggeti utk bekpes sok. citer tu abih dekat jam 2.30pm, aku masuk tido walopon mata tak ngantuk. terkujat2 aku.. dah agak2 leh lena, skali guruh kuat tul, aku tekejut tul.. kilat tak berenti2.. alamakkk.. kain kat luar!! tgk jam dah dkt pukul 4, aku kejutkan adik2, tgk kot2 tempias. ujan kat luar lebat sgt, kilat memancar, guruh kuat sgt.. takut kali nie psl rasa dekat sgt kilat tu. punya laa tak lama ujan.. dan ujan sampai pagi.. alhamdulillah.....

ahad lak aku bangun awal, psl nak rebus mi spagheti. tu je laa mknan ari minggu. sambil tu sidai balik kain baju yg dah dibawak masuk lam umah semalam psl ujan lebat..duk lepak2 sambil tgk melodi, beh gak.. rasa lembik pun ada psl aku takleh tido sgt mlm tadi. dah abih melodi, leh terlelap lak aku dpn tv. petang2 sket gi mikveli, ingat nak beli buahtangan utk famili kat kampung, cam buah anggur ker, dorang suker.. emm.. singgah jusco kejap, beli baju utk Dik Lya. lam duk pusing2 tu, terjumpa laa patung strawberry shortcake kat area mainan budak2 tu. cantik sgt tapi mahal..! tgk je laa, teringat2 kejap.. emm.. dah tu singgah mkn kat burger king, sedap btol beefburger blackpepper..!lenkali kalo gi burger king lagi, leh laa oder hehe! gi carrefour beli anggur 2 peket pahtu ngan lauk2 nasik skali.. balik umah then malam, hantar adik aku balik kampung kat putra .. mujur sempat tgk result american idol..

minggu lepas tak banyak mende jadi kecuali ari tu aku ada fight sket ngan org tu, tapi tak lama laa.. pas tu, sepanjang minggu gak havoc psl cuaca panas yg dijangka mencecah 40darjah. fuh, malam2 tido panas btol, duk kat ruang tamu bukak kipas no.4 pun still tak rasa panas. kat luar jerebu teruk. dgn kebakaran di merata2 tempat. takut lak aku ngan bencana alam cenggini. harap2 pas nie takde ler panas sgt..

poster utk ari nie..

The Hymnbook ~ By Arthur Bowler
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

I watched intently as my little brother was caught in the act. He sat in the corner of the living room, a pen in one hand and my father's hymnbook in the other. As my father walked into the room, my brother cowered slightly; he sensed that he had done something wrong. From a distance, I saw that he had opened my father's brand-new book and scribbled across the length and breadth of the entire first page with a pen. Now, staring at my father fearfully, he and I both waited for his punishment.

My father picked up his prized hymnal, looked at it carefully, and then sat down without saying a word. Books were precious to him; he was a clergyman and the holder of several degrees. For him, books were knowledge, and yet, he loved his children. What he did in the next few minutes was remarkable. Instead of punishing my brother, instead of scolding or yelling or reprimanding, he sat down, took the pen from my brother's hand and then wrote in the book himself, alongside the scribbles John had made: "John's word 1959, age two. How many times have I looked into your beautiful face and into your warm, alert eyes looking up at me and thanked God for the one who has now scribbled in my new hymnal? You have made the book sacred as have your brothers and sister to so much of my life." Wow, I thought. This is punishment?

From time to time I take a book down - not just a cheesy paperback but a real book that I know I will have for many years to come - and I give it to one of my children to scribble or write their names in. And as I look at their artwork, I think about my father, and how he taught me about what really matters in life: people, not objects; tolerance, not judgment; love which is at the very heart of a family. I think about these things, and I smile. And I whisper, "Thank you, Dad."

10/2/2005

2005-02-10T13:50:00.000+08:00

aku bangun awal pagi nie, takde ler awal sangat kalo jam 7.00am tu. malam tadi tak selesa tul tido, psl aku leh tido takde bantal. nie ler gara2 nak sgt tetido kat depan, mak suh bwk masuk bantal dah tak larat. haa.. bangun2 jer terus aku basuh muka dan buat sarapan. mak suh gurin mihun, aku bantai jer gurin mihun pucat. ok laa kot, psl aku tak sure taste org kat sana compare ngan rasa yg aku salu buat. tapi mak kata ok jer, dah ler takde sayur, aku letak cikenball jer. ok la tu daripada takde langsung. dua kuali a.k.a dua bukus mihun laa sempat aku goreng, tu pun aku rasa banyak dah. aku letak ler lam periuk, sib muat. tgk sedara mara dah datang nak potong2 timun ngan bahan2 lain kat dapur. mujur laa dapur tu besar, leh laa ada space nak lalu lalang. ada yg mkn mihun aku tu sambil komplen psl mihun org kl buat ni pucat..heheh.. aku pun mandi dulu pahtu ngan suar trek n tshirt, aku duk sibuk tulun org. ayah duk risau, psl jam dah 9lebih, lembu lom sampai lagi. ayah bimbang gak takut2 tak cukup daging psl bajek tak ramai yg datang, skali jemput leh tahan gak laa ramai. dia suh mak kasik duwit kat abg gi beli ayam lam 100hengget. aku tgk cam situasi tak beh jer, aku terus angkat punggung..

aku gi laa tolong kat belakang, tgk org duk pasang tungku nak masak nasik. duk tinjau2, takde menda nak wat, aku gi masuk balik. tgk kakak ipar ngan abg tgh tulis2 something, cam nama org. aku wat dek je laa. lembu dah sembelih, org laki2 duk melapah kat luar. aku yg taktau nak wat per nie, gi laa tulung. banyak gak daging lembu nie, tgk jam dah 10am. takut tak sempat masak jer nie. kat dapur, nasik dah masak. adik no.1 duk bizi bersihkan perut lembu ngan WeMelah. cam makcik2 lak dia bila pakai scarf mak..hehe! skali dia bangun, laa ada pacat sekor kat betis dia. dah kenyang dah pun. ish.. terus aku amik letak lam api, maka matilah pacat yg dah kenyang dan kembong tu.. haha! abang datang kat dapur ngan tiga plastik beso ayam. hushh tekejut aku! kena ler bersihkan ayam cepat2 takut tak cukup daging lak karang. buat sebungkus jer, psl daging yg dah masak tu pun banyak (menurut kata tukang masak tu laa).. dah siap basuh2 ayam tu, aku masuk lam umah. tgk mihun gurin aku wat tadi dah sold out..kira sedap laa tu kot, kalo tak mana leh abih kan? aku pun gi duk kat branda blakang, amik angin psl kaki aku dah rasa penat, bintik2 merah makin banyak. sian lak aku tgk kaki aku nie.. ayah suh aku rehat, aku pun gi masuk bilik amik towel nak mandi lagi sekali.

kat luar, org dah datang utk kenduri. pas mandi aku masuk bilik, tanye mak sebenarnye kenduri aqiqah tu utk saper. seblom tu aku tanye adik2 aku dulu, dorang kata mmg utk kitorang adik bradik. tapi aku ada sikit muskel psl tadi kakak ipar ngan abg kasik nama lain, bukan nama kitorang. aku panggil mak, tanye tul2. mak kata utk anak2 sedara kak ipar aku. naik hangin laa aku, psl ari tu bgtau utk buat aqiqah kitorang adik bradik..huh! aku pun stat laa brok brek, skali ngan adik2 aku pun sama. masing2 rasa terkilan psl tak bgtau awal2. kalo tak, takde ler aku rushing nak balik sampai sanggup turun kuantan dulu baru balik kg. punyer tak pueh ati, aku tido dari jam 1pm sampai laa dekat jam 4pm. puah ati aku! tgk org pun dah kurang, baru aku kluar. gi kemas2 kayu api kat blakang yg lebih2. banyak gak laa dgn tungku, khemah skali kena kemas. tgh duk lempar2 kayu api masuk lam pagar, leh tersagat lak lengan aku kat pagar. adehhh leh tahan gak sakit, mujur tak rabak! penat gak laa, mujur ada angin. nyaman sket.

petang2 lepas sume org dah balik, duk ngemas2 umah. banyak tul lalat. kena basuh periuk kat blakang, dah ler dkt2 maghrib, serun gak aku bila pusing blakang. kan per, abg ada bgtau kat semak2 tu ada segerombolan babi utan duk situ. ish.. serun lak! punye ler aku rasa tak sedap ati, aku tinggalkan dua tiga periuk utk dibasuh pagi sok. tgk ayam lam peti banyak, ingat nak wat satay. mujur barang2 banyak lagi lam peti es tu. serai pun ada, so aku pun prepare laa pe2 yg patut utk jadikan rempah. adik no.1 duk potong2 ayam sambil aku prepare bahan perap. lama gak laa psl banyak nak kena bersihkan ayam. mak dah tak larat. dah siap2 potong, kemas dulu lam peti yg mana taknak guna tu. ayam yg dah tak bertulang tu, adik aku bwk potong kecik2 dpn tv sambil dia layan resident evil. lagi skali aku mandi psl tak larat sgt bau masakan kat baju aku. dah mandi, aku lak sambung potong ayam sambil dorang sume tido. cehh.. last2 aku sensorang duk tgk resident evil tu sensorang. rafli, aku tido lam jam 2am gak la..

ni gambar latest Dik Lya yg sempat aku snap ari tuu..

True Generosity ~ By Elizabeth Cobb
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

When a tornado touched down in a small town nearby, many families were left devastated. Afterward, all the local newspapers carried many human interest stories featuring some of the families who suffered the hardest. One Sunday, a particular picture especially touched me. A young woman stood in front of a totally demolished mobile home, an anguished expression twisting her features. A young boy, seven or eight years old, stood at her side, eyes downcast. Clutching at her skirt was a tiny girl who stared into the camera, eyes wide with confusion and fear. The article that accompanied the picture gave the clothing sizes of each family member. With growing interest, I noticed that their sizes closely matched ours. This would be a good opportunity to teach my children to help those less fortunate than themselves.

I taped the picture of the young family to our refrigerator, explaining their plight to my seven-year-old twins, Brad and Brett, and to three-year-old Meghan. "We have so much, and these poor people now have nothing," I said. "We'll share what we have with them."

I brought three large boxes down from the attic and placed them on the living room floor. Meghan watched solemnly as the boys and I filled one of the boxes with canned goods and other nonperishable foods, soap and other assorted toiletries. While I sorted through our clothes, I encouraged the boys to go through their toys and donate some of their less favorite things. Meghan watched quietly as the boys piled up discarded toys and games. "I'll help you find something for the little girl when I'm done with this," I said.

The boys placed the toys they had chosen to donate into one of the boxes while I filled the third box with clothes. Meghan walked up with Lucy, her worn, faded, frazzled, much-loved rag doll hugged tightly to her chest. She paused in front of the box that held the toys, pressed her round little face into Lucy's flat, painted-on face, gave her a final kiss, then laid her gently on top of the other toys. "Oh, Honey," I said. "You don't have to give Lucy. You love her so much."

Meghan nodded solemnly, eyes glistening with held-back tears. "Lucy makes me happy, Mommy. Maybe she'll make that other little girl happy, too."
Swallowing hard, I stared at Meghan for a long moment, wondering how I could teach the boys the lesson she had just taught me. For I suddenly realized that anyone can give their cast-offs away. True generosity is giving that which you cherish most. Honest benevolence is a three-year-old offering a treasured, albeit shabby doll to a little girl she doesn't know with the hope that it will bring this child as much pleasure as it brought her.

I, who had wanted to teach, had been taught.
The boys had watched, open-mouthed, as their baby sister placed her favorite doll in the box. Without a word, Brad rose and went to his room. He came back carrying one of his favorite action figures. He hesitated briefly, clutching the toy, then looked over at Meghan and placed it in the box next to Lucy. A slow smile spread across Brett's face, then he jumped up, eyes twinkling as he ran to retrieve some of his prized Matchbox cars. Amazed, I realized that the boys had also recognized what little Meghan's gesture meant. Swallowing back tears, I pulled all three of them into my arms.

Taking the cue from my little one, I removed my old tan jacket with the frayed cuffs from the box of clothes. I replaced it with the new hunter green jacket that I had found on sale last week. I hoped the young woman in the picture would love it as much as I did.

8/2/2005

2005-02-08T16:52:00.000+08:00

ari nei br masuk keje. takde mood benornyer psl aku rasa tak cukup rehat for last few days. badan letih, paler pun down gak nie.. buhsan! malam nie sepatutnye aku balik nak bas ngan adik no.1, tapi adik yg no.2 lak nak kena hantar balik - masalah diri. ari tu aku dah tanye beriya2 nak balik kampung ngan kitorang ke dak, dia tak sure.. asek2 tak sure, bila dah last2 minit, baru laa leh kasik jawapan bgtau leh balik.hayya!.. nak taknak, aku sacrifice jer ler utk dorang .. and ada benda yg aku regret.. emmmm.... malas aku nak pikir tapi bila dah jadik, aku rasa cam sedey sgt! takpe ler, aku simpan lam ati sensorang! insyaAllah malam nie aku tumpang member aku.. rasa bersalah gak psl banyak barang dia nak bawak balik, aku lak menyempit lam keter dia. ni dah ler barang2 tak pack lagi!

semalam aku pegi uitm, nak setel hal adik aku. amik emergency leave. psl per, lam jam 10.30pm ahad malam adik aku kol. kata nak balik kampung gak malam tu. dah ler aku baru sampai dari melaka, ngan penat dan letihnyer. nak tak nak, gi laa aku amik dia. ingat nak gi ngan teksi jer psl taknak nyusahkan member aku lagi yg penat duk drive dari melaka ke kl tu.. tapi member tak sampai ati biarkan aku naik teksi (dia kata teksi kl takleh caye).. so dia temankan aku ngan adik aku yg lagi sorang tuu gi amik adik bongsu aku tu laa. tensen tul aku, bila aku tanye taknak ckp, ngan yg sorang lagi tu, cakap lak dia. kadang2kan, aku rasa cam org tak hargai pun per yg aku buat kat dorang! berbalik lak pada citer psl setel hal adik bongsu aku tu kat uitm. jupe ngan 4 org lecturer dia skaligus, dorang ok jer aku tgk. tak tau ler kalo dpn aku jer gitu. banyak citer aku tau, psl ponteng, tak hantar keje laa.. mcm2 hal. last2 one of d lecturer suh dia amik cuti satu semester. bagi aku, ok gak laa cuti psl per, banyak yg dia takleh catch-up sepanjang semester nie. lagipun, aku tak berapa suke ngan sapa dia kawan..so, seharian kat uitm yg panas ya amat tu, setel laa per yg aku patut buat. selebihnye, aku serahkan kat dia.. kalo dapat cuti, baguih laa..

so for this coming chinese new year sampai wiken, aku berada di kampung.. insyaAllah, takde gaduh2 dah psl aku dah bosan ngan gaduh yg wat aku malas nak balik kampung. kalo jadi jugak, aku taknak balik kampung langsung dah! last word, hepi holiday!

poster utk ari nie..

Passages of Time ~ By Mary Gail Cooper
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

One pretty Saturday morning in midspring, I stood watching in wonderment as Sheba, our old gray mare, cantered in happy circles around our nine-year-old daughter. Helen was standing in the middle of the pasture, halter and lead rope in hand, looking completely exasperated as Sheba ran circles around her. After all, Helen had awakened early this morning in eager anticipation of riding her brand-new horse for the first time.

But not if she couldn't catch her! I watched as Sheba lightly sailed over a low practice jump hurdle set up in the pasture. With head high, ears pricked forward and tail sailing on the wind as Arabians tails are wont to do, this old horse was the picture of beauty and lighthearted gaiety. I glanced across the paddock and saw that my husband, too, had stopped to watch this scene play out. We had just bought Sheba three days earlier and had found her to be gentle and very approachable in the pasture. But now she was happily evading my daughter's attempt to halter her. However, she was not running away to the far corners of the pasture, just circling within a few yards of Helen. Then, as we stood watching, Sheba simply stopped running and walked quietly over to the water tank for a drink.

A few moments later, while Helen was pleasantly grooming Sheba, I asked my husband what he thought of the incident. "They looked to be 'happy circles' to me," he said. We both had a tingly sense of having received a message from this animal. She seemed to be expressing her gratitude for having been rescued from the crowded horse dealer's corral and coming to live with us. Indeed, before buying her, I had taken the old horse aside and quietly told her that if she would teach my young daughter to ride, she could have a home with us for as long as she lived. Now, Sheba seemed to be answering me with a resounding "yes!" Little did I know then just how much she would do for us.

It is a couple of years later and I am again standing in the same pasture, watching the same horse, the same gentle canter, but this time my handicapped daughter Mary Elizabeth is astride. Grandpa is with me, watching with tears in his eyes. Shaking his head in amazement, he is saying, "I never would have believed it." Helen went on to become quite an accomplished rider, pursuing such diverse equestrian activities as dressage lessons and exercising young Thoroughbreds on the track. But of my three children, it is Mary Elizabeth who loves horses as much as I do.

Although a couple of years older than Helen, she has always been developmentally behind her younger sister. Mary Elizabeth was born prematurely, deaf and with an impaired nervous system. She couldn't crawl or sit like other babies. She learned to walk with the support of a wheeled walker. She graduated to a pair of crutches in kindergarten. By first grade, she could walk unassisted but fell often. Her run looked more like a controlled fall. She found it difficult to stand without constantly moving to maintain her balance and she usually sat down or propped against something for support. In addition, she has severely reduced sensation in her arms and legs, which hampers her fine-motor control. Her deafness adds another handicap in itself.

But Mary Elizabeth loves animals, especially horses. As Helen began to learn how to ride, it soon became apparent that Mary Elizabeth intended to be included in this new activity. I was aware of riding programs for the handicapped and knew that Mary Elizabeth would benefit from riding. However, with her poor balance, I never thought that she would be able to ride without someone walking alongside the horse to steady her in the saddle. She never has been able to ride a bicycle and the two activities seemed similar in my mind.

One surprise followed another and through it all, I have been astonished repeatedly by Sheba's patience and understanding. Without any spoken words, the horse always does exactly what our deaf daughter "tells" her, such as positioning herself perfectly next to strange objects for mounting, or standing still with a slipped saddle hanging from her belly. Time and again, this old mare has demonstrated her intelligence, instead of the more usual and expected equine behaviors, to accommodate Mary Elizabeth.

Grandpa was right to be moved to tears of awe that day as we stood in the pasture witnessing Mary Elizabeth's demonstration of riding bareback at a canter across the field with only a set of reins clipped to the halter - a feat even her teenage brother wouldn't attempt! Over the years, Sheba has very generously shared her capable legs and willing spirit so that our very special daughter can experience an unaccustomed freedom and equality in her otherwise handicapped life.

1/2/2005

2005-02-01T09:16:00.000+08:00

selamat hari wilayah.. ari nie cuti so aku amik kesempatan tido lama2. tapi bila teringat ada keje nak wat petang karang, otometik aku bangun awal. takder ler awal sgt, 10.30am je. duk main2 ngan kucen pahtu mandikan lilo ngan kiddi yg dah bucukk bau whiskas campo tayik. dah tgk umah cam comot jer, mop dulu laa ruang tamu. budak2 umah tak bangun lagi, senang wat keje. turun bawah beli roti ngan sardin, wat sandwich. dap jugak :D

petang, aku ingat nak stat ngecat bilik aku. tapi banyak tul nak kena kemas barang. psl per, pc lam bilik tu adik kat uitm nak datang amik. pahtu, pc lam bilik sebelah masuk semula lam bilik aku. hi-fi aku bwk keluar psl leh tgk vcd. hi-fi kat luar bwk masuk bilik member psl problem ngan cd changer tuu.. dah kemas2 barang tu kat luar, baru laa leh stat ngecat. mujur laa aku takyah guna tangga part yg tinggi2 tu. guna kaler sunset red utk side yg aku tak abih cat ari tu, pahtu seblah lagi satu guna warna bluebell. huyoooo.. bilik aku cam kat kindergarden laa pulak, penoh kaler2. ngan comforter aku terbalikkan belah bunga2 kunin bertanah pepel..hehehe.. mmg ngam laa. adik duk uitm pun sampai nak dtg amik pc dia. mujur dia bwk bopren dia ngangkut, so takyah laa aku ngangkut skali ngan dia. kat luar nak ujan lak. ish.. nie satu keje lak nak hangkut dan kemas2 barang semula lam bilik aku. cam banyak jer, nak ubat dekorasi pun takleh nak wat psl muat2 jer barang aku. aisehhh.. kira susun cam dulu gak laa.

pas dah ngemas sume2 lam bilik, pegi mikveli. rasa lapar gak laa psl tak lunch pun tadi. sakit pinggang lak tu, tapi bila ingatkan makanan budak kiddi tu dah abih, tak sampai ati lak tak beli. singgah foodjuntion makan dulu, aku mkn sifut mee. sedap tul, abih semangkok beso sorang aku. pahtu gi jenjalan lam jusco seblom singgah carrefour beli whiskas ngan barang2 lain. balik umah, flet terus.. dah ler sok nak kijer.. ayyakk..

poster utk ari nie..

Looking for Good ~ By Clifford G. Angeroth
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

All convicts are evil low-lifes who deserve what they get. That's what I thought before I was sentenced to prison. I believed in tough treatment - feed them only bread and water. Forget about educational opportunities, heat, medical care, and certainly no TV or air conditioning - but what a difference time makes! Now that I'm one of "them," I have a different view. I've met some genuinely nice, decent and responsible people who are "serving time."

The traditional view of inmates is that they're all career criminals who "feed on the public." They're heartless, irresponsible, uncaring, lower-income people from broken homes whose family and friends also have criminal records. Admittedly, I carried my preconceived notions to prison. My first impressions confirmed all my fears. I was terrified by the experience and easily intimidated by practically everyone - inmates and staff alike.

Then an inmate, much older than I, pulled me aside and set me straight. I was obviously a first-timer and his advice helped me to survive. He introduced me to other inmates my own age. Thanks to their advice and guidance, I learned how to cope. Many inmates are well educated, and most that aren't know its importance and are working on a GED or high school diploma to better themselves. Many fellow inmates have jobs in the prison. They work in the library, laundry, cafeteria, garden, canteen and educational building, and perform maintenance tasks for little or no pay. Most inmates are grateful to have jobs and take pride in their work. It helps build self-worth in a place where it's easy to feel worthless.

Like me, many of us have never been to prison before and never want to return. Many come from single-parent, middle-class families and are the first family member to serve a term. Most of their friends are law-abiding citizens. Prison is a cold, cruel place, yet the inmates who helped me did so with nothing expected in return. Their advice saved my life and helped make the experience bearable.

It's true, people don't go to prison for being good. Most of us did something to deserve our time, but it doesn't mean that we're all bad. Looking for the good in everyone helps set us all free.

29/1/2005

2005-01-29T08:54:00.000+08:00

dah pun hari sabtu. kejap jer masa berlalu, dah nak akhir bulan dah pun. minggu depan 1hb februari lak ari wilayah. asek bercuti jer skrg nie..termasuk ler petang nie, nak gi PD. yeahhaa.. hehehe! yg tak behnyer, kena keje sabtu pertama nanti (5hb feb) pasai dapat cuti utk chinese new year - aku balik kampung.

pagi semalam tak beh sket kat aku psl cemana tah tadi aku terpelosok kaki kanan lam lobang kat parking. kuar dari keter member, aku duk tgk keter yg tgk masuk parking nie. ada yg takleh gostan, nak gelak gak aku. skali cemana tah aku leh TERmasuk kaki lam lobang tu. adehhhhhh.. aku terai2 tarik kaki aku, makin terkedalam lak. aduh aku leh bayangkan kulit aku terkoyak2. terkial2 aku bangun, tgk kaki dah melecet, ada darah. leh aku gelak ngan member aku, bukan per, psl nak kata lobang beso, tak gak. tapi ler, kaki aku muat lak. mebi psl aku pakai kasut lain kot. kalo pakai kasut tutup, tak kena kot. amik minyak angin, aku pakai sapu jer kat kaki. dah ler itam2 psl aku pakai kasut terbukak ari nie. kalo aku pakai kasut tutup aku tu, mesti dah jahanam kasut tu :P . kaki luka takpe..hehehe. masuk opis, terus aku sapu ayordin balut ngan bandage. cam yeryer jer injured. member aku tgk, gelak jer psl aku cam beriya sgt..

ni opismet aku dah bawak vcd entiti indon yg dia nak tunjuk kat aku. memandangkan petang nie aku akan ke PD, terpaksa ler aku tunda nak tgk cd tu kepada ari ahad. kan per, takut gak aku. tempat tak bese pegi tapi tgk lak vcd gitu, mau tak seremmm... :D .. ok laa, minggu depan akan aku citer pengalaman duk kat PD ngan cemana jalan citer lam vcd entiti tu.

EpiLoG

bicara hati kala sepi
mengundang duka nan lara
membangkit resah dijiwa
kernanya..

bicara hati nan terluka
merobek naluri yg derita
mencari arah pulang
ke pangkal hati seseorang..

An Inch of Kindness ~ By Jeanne Williams Carey
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

It was the Sunday after Christmas and the seven o'clock mass was beginning. Chilled latecomers hurried up the side steps, and the rear seats were filling up with stragglers, who welcomed the warmth of the radiators that backed the last pews. The assistant pastor had begun the age-old celebration and the parishioners were very quiet, hardly participating. Each was in his or her own world. Christmas was two days ago, and it had taken its toll. Even the children were still. It was a time of rest from the season's whirl, and all were inclined to sit back and rest. As Father John began his sermon, he looked over a most subdued crowd. He began with a pleasant introduction about the holiday time and its true meaning. Then he carried his sermon a little further and talked about charity and love and being good to others all the time. He said we couldn't go wrong by being nice. It was a talk we had all heard before, and we each felt smugly that we had done our part. Then there was a pause, and Father John added a new thought for his flock to contemplate, and we were startled and roused from our reveries.

He talked about the vagrants, the "trolls," the bums and the homeless that were walking the streets of the city and giving testimony to the new poverty. In quiet tones, he said that they needed care most of all. Some of us squirmed in our seats and exchanged glances. It was obvious we had some reservations about his statements. Most of us were thinking about the influx of wanderers into the city. Vagrants inhabited the parks, the shopping malls and the downtown area. Most of the petty crime seemed to be blamed on them, and they certainly weren't viewed with charity. Mrs. Scupp was terrified by their looks and grimy appearance. Last week a dingy stubble-faced man with a blanket wrapped around him had asked her for money. Startled and scared, she dropped all her packages as she squealed, "No!" He stooped and helped her pick up her gifts. Then she did find some money in her purse and gave it to him. The experience had unnerved her, and now she shuddered at the thought of repeating it.

Joe Walden's puffy face twisted with a grimace. Yeah, sure, he thought. Show these people an inch of kindness and they'll ruin your business. At first he hadn't complained about the groups playing violins and guitars in front of his store and asking for donations for their entertainment. But prospective buyers were uncomfortable and passed the shop by. His sales had dropped, and he blamed the street people. What was this priest suggesting? He snorted to himself. Margaret was so horrified by the ragged-looking bunch down in the grocery store parking lot that she hated to go shopping there, and she cringed at the thought of even being near the homeless. But the store was the closest place to home, so she went at noon when there were plenty of other shoppers.

Al sat back in his pew and was lost in this part of the message. He was deeply involved in reviewing his career as a cop and how it applied. It was his job to round up those that disturbed the peace or interfered with others. The terrible antagonism aroused between the citizens and these wanderers had led to many arrests and "move on" orders. Were they justified? One thought came to mind. Is there a little extra I could do? Al pulled his head into the warmth of his coat, stuck his hands into his pockets and dismissed the thoughts. The priest continued with the sermon, touching on many sore spots. He ended by asking people to be kinder to the less fortunate, to be fair and to treat everybody the way Christ would treat them. He left the pulpit to continue Mass, leaving everybody in a ruffled mood.

The Mass continued, but at the same time a noise assaulted the solemnity. A cross between a groan and a whistle, it sounded again and again. A snicker ran through the church. It was a snore...a mighty one. Anxious looks at the altar proved that Father was unaffected by the noise, but others were. A lady in front with a big red hat was turning one way and then the other, seeking its originator. Three children were giggling. Their father tried to quiet them and at the same time scan the congregation. Halfway up the middle aisle, to the right, was a hunched-up figure covered with a blanket - the source of the noise. Each time a chord was struck, the gray covering vibrated as the snore escaped its confines.

The snorer was obviously not a member of the church. Maybe he was one of those wanderers on his way south, or somebody who came in from the cold. Maybe he was a bum. One thing was certain: His snoring was offensive. People coughed nervously and then waited for the next sound. "Do you think he had a nice Christmas, too, Mommy?" Whispers and hugs identified a little girl in a new pink jacket. "God loves him, too, doesn't he?" Another flurry followed as her father, nodding, picked her up in his arms. She rested her chin over his shoulder and was looking at the inert man. The people moved in their seats. This was a member of the poor that the sermon was about. What an uncomfortable thought!

Father John was saying the final prayers when the little girl spoke to her father in a stage whisper that carried from one end of the church to the other. "Daddy, can't we share our Christmas with him? Can I have some money? I won't wake him up. Promise." There was quiet rustling and movement as she crossed the aisle and laid some bills on the blanket. Al rose to his feet and did the same. Joe Walden strode up with his offering. As Father John finished the Mass, other bills were dropped on the sleeping figure. He watched Mrs. Scupp gingerly place a five-dollar bill on the gray blanket that was now heaped with money. Margaret met Father John's grin as she left her offering.

It was a strange crowd who greeted Father John after services. The man in the blanket had made an impression, and while few words were said, everyone greeted the priest with a special heartiness. It comes with the satisfaction of giving, he thought. When Father John returned to the empty church and walked up the aisle to the man, he saw the green bills nestled in the folds of the gray blanket. There was more money on the floor around the man. Father John gently shook him. The snoring man raised his head and looked vacantly at the priest for a moment. "Oh, I fell asleep, I guess. What's this?" The money cascaded around him as he rose and dropped the blanket. The priest looked with surprise into the face of Chris Gregory, a fireman and paramedic he had known for years. "Gee, Father John, I'm awfully sorry." As Chris gently scooped up and counted the wealth, Father John explained what had happened. Then Chris told his story.

His department had received three calls for fires down in the lagoon and along the railroad tracks. He had been out all night. The last call included a girl who was about to give birth. She was one of those who had sought the warmth of a fire that got out of hand. Before she could be taken to the hospital, he delivered her baby, a boy. Chris went to the hospital and stayed longer than he expected. It had been a long night, and he had stopped to make early morning mass before going home to sleep. There was $600.60 altogether. Father John said, "Suppose we divide it. I'll use my share for the soup kitchen, and you take the rest for the new mother. She's going to need it. Now, let's get some breakfast. And fold up that blanket - I don't really think the parishioners want to know who the man in the gray blanket was."

24/1/2005

2005-01-24T10:00:00.000+08:00

hari ni dah masuk minggu ke-4 bulan januari tahun 2005. kejap jer rasa masa berlalu. bespren aku pun dah nak masuk umur '30' thn this coming 30th januari 2005 (wiken nie). cam baru je aku kenai dia, tup2 dah nak tukar angka dah dia..insyaAllah, hujung minggu nie nak pegi PD. nak selebret besdey bespren aku, KiD. dah booked bilik, mujur dapat.. adiah dah kasik kat dia - perfum Bvlgari (botol biru) ngan kad. tu pun dah kasi edban..hehehe..

21hb januari 2005 - Hari Raya Aidiladha. aku tak balik, stay kat kl ngan adik aku, sambut raya. dah bese raya aji kat perantauan, so tak ler rasa sgt kemeriahan tu. bangun pagi pun lambat, tu pun terbangun psl dengar takbir raya kuat kat area perumahan tu. taim tu ler rasa sayu sket psl aku salu emotional kalo dgr takbir. mebi sbb aku still dipanjangkan umur olehNya utk menyambut satu lagi hari raya lam idop aku. lom mandi, adik aku salam aku wish slamat raya, tu pun ataih katil br bangun tido. kalo laa mak aku tau, hush..mesti kena bebel. kol mak kat umah, dpt ckp ngan nenek ngan maksu. ari raya tahun nie aku masak nasik minyak, gulai ayam ngan acar kubis. leh tahan lak aku masak kali nie, mebi psl raya kot? :-D

chinese new year nie aku balik kampung. last week (20hb) dah beli tiket, pegi-balik utk aku ngan adik aku tu. abang bgtau dia nak wat kenduri aqiqah utk Dik Lya ngan kitorang adik bradik skali. ikut perancangan awal, dia nak korban lembu tapi tak tau laa kut2 ada perubahan saat2 akhir. lagi pulak, nak wat kenduri naik umah baru dia.

EpiLoG

bila rindu itu datang
menggigit pinggir hati ini
kan daku berlari
agar sakitnya tak ku rasai
namun bila ia menjengah
dalam diri nan sepi
membuat aku termangu sendiri
dalam keadaan yang tak pasti
apakah rindu ini
akan kembali lagi.....

Patches ~ By Cathy Novakovich
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

It was such an exciting time of the year, for me especially. Christmas was just around the corner, the signs of which were already appearing at the malls, and my baby shower was just a week away. Mom was worried about how many people would actually come, considering Christmas was so close. She had worked so hard on planning the perfect baby shower for her first grandchild. She was so tickled, I laughed just watching her trip all over herself planning it.

She had really hoped I would find out the gender of the baby so she could have a pink or blue shower, whichever was applicable. She also wanted to include that tidbit of information within the invitations; at both of her showers she had received a lot of boy items, and of course, she had had two girls. I knew Mom had gone over her budget on the shower, especially with Christmas right around the corner. I made her promise that she would not buy a shower gift in addition to all she had done. I was worried about the money, but I also had another reason. I had not found out if it would be a boy or a girl, and I wanted Mom to be the one to pick out the special "coming-home outfit" for my child.

December nineteenth, what a day it had been! I will never forget that day or that date. I felt like I had been opening presents for hours, and what wonderful presents I had received. The generosity of my family and friends overwhelmed me. As I replaced the top of the box on what I thought was the last gift, I was handed one more. I hadn't seen that one. Where had it been? It wasn't wrapped with traditional baby shower paper; it was wrapped with beautiful Christmas paper adorned with angels singing hymns, the words written in gold so delicately on the paper. There was no gift tag attached, but there was a Christmas card. "To my daughter . . . ," it read. Mom had promised not to buy a shower gift, but I had said nothing about a Christmas gift! I gave her one of those "I'm going to kill you" looks, and she just sat there, smugly smiling.

"This one is from my mom," I announced as I opened the gift. Inside was a quilt. I tried to smile as I held it up for all to see, hoping Mom couldn't see my face. She would know my smile wasn't genuine; she could read me like a good book, cover to cover. The quilt was not very pretty, you see. It was not a "baby quilt." It wasn't made of pink, blue and yellow materials; it didn't have bunnies or bears. It was just a patchwork quilt sewn of materials that were of all different colors and patterns. Holding the quilt up, I noticed a note tucked in the bottom of the box.

Not realizing the note was intended to be private, I set the quilt aside, picked up the note and began reading it. Mom had made the quilt for me. The unmatched materials were remnants of my life she had saved over the years. She had cut swatches of material from items dating back to my first Christmas dress and as current as the shirt I wore to the doctor the day I found out I was finally pregnant. She had accumulated "patches" of my life for all those years to make this quilt for my child.

By the time I finished reading Mom's letter telling of the "patch" of her old robe - I remembered it well; it was fleece and I used to insist she wear it so I could lay my head on it when she rocked me - and the "patch" of Dad's flannel shirt I used to put on after my bath, and each and every other "patch" and its meaning, there was not a dry eye in the dining room. I picked up the quilt and held it against me and I cried. To think, just seconds before I had thought it ugly. It was beautiful. It was the most beautiful quilt I had ever seen. This quilt was made of my life and with my mother's love. She had sewn her love into every stitch. To think my mom could sew!

The quilt now hangs on my son's wall. It is a reminder of my life, my mother's love and the wonderful Christmas present I received at my baby shower.

8/1/2005

2005-01-08T15:42:00.000+08:00

poster utk ari nie..

The Sharing Session ~ By Marion Brenish
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

As a California tourist unaccustomed to single digits, the bitter cold of that December day in Washington, D.C., was dampening my holiday mood. Accounting for the windchill factor, the temperature was below zero. When I ducked into Union Station, I hoped only to get warm. What I got was a lesson in the real meaning of the season - from a homeless person.

Warmth was slowly being restored to my hands and feet as I settled onto one of the public benches with a gleaming cup of coffee. Now I was ready to relax and do some serious people-watching. I noticed a homeless man seated nearby and several tables of diners spilling out into the great hall from the upscale America Restaurant. Heavenly aromas from gourmet treats were tempting me to consider an early dinner. From the longing look in my neighbor's eye it was obvious that he, too, had not failed to notice the banquet taking place around us. I wondered how long it had been since he had eaten anything. Expecting he would approach me for a handout, I welcomed such a plea on his part. He never did. The more I took in this scene, the crueler his plight seemed. My head and heart were battling it out: the former telling me to mind my own business, and the latter urging me to make an immediate trip to the food court on his behalf.

While this internal debate was raging, a well-dressed young couple suddenly approached. "Excuse me, sir," began the husband. "My wife and I just finished eating and our appetite wasn't as big as we thought. We hate to waste good food. Can you help us out and put this to good use?" The kind stranger handed a large styrofoam container overflowing with goodies. "God bless you both. Merry Christmas," came the grateful reply. Feeling good about what I had seen, but dismayed by my own lack of action, I observed my neighbor's response to his sudden good fortune. First he scrutinized his newfound bounty, arranging the soup crackers, inspecting the club sandwich and stirring the salad dressing. Then he slowly lifted the lid off the soup, inhaling the aroma and cupping his hands around the steaming bowl. It was obvious that he was going to prolong the enjoyment of this miracle meal. Finally, he appeared ready for that long-dreamed-of first taste. Meticulously unwrapping the plastic spoon, he filled it to overflowing, lifted it towards his mouth and — with a suddenness that stunned me - stopped dead in his tracks.

The reason for this unexpected behavior soon became clear. Entering the hall and shuffling in our direction was a new arrival. In his seventies (or so he appeared), hatless and gloveless, he was clad in lightweight pants, a threadbare jacket and open shoes. His hands were raw and his face had a bluish tint. I wasn't alone in gasping aloud at this sad sight, but my neighbor was the only one doing anything about it. Quickly pulling aside his treasure, he leaped up and guided the elderly man to an adjacent seat. He took the old man's hands and rubbed them in his own. He tenderly draped his down jacket over the older man's shoulders. Finally, he spoke. "Pop, my name's Jack, and one of God's angels brought me this meal. I just finished eating, and I hate to waste good food. Can you help me out?" Placing the steaming cup of soup in the stranger's hands, he didn't wait for an answer. But he got one. "Sure, Son, but only if you go halfway with me on that sandwich. It's too much for a man my age."

It wasn't easy making my way to the food court with tears blurring my vision, but I soon returned with the largest containers of coffee and the biggest assortment of pastries possible. "Excuse me, gentlemen, but..." My parents, like yours, taught me to share, but it wasn't until that day in Union Station that I truly learned the meaning of that word. I left the hall feeling warmer than I had ever thought possible.

7/1/2005

2005-01-07T15:14:00.000+08:00

poster utk ari nie..

Santa Redeemed ~ By Jean Bronaugh
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

Typically, young kids start out believing in Santa Claus, then learn later that Santa was just their grandpa dressed in a red suit. Me, I was onto the truth pretty quickly. As a savvy seven-year-old, I knew that Santa Claus was just another adult scam. Anyone could see that. The problem was that as the two oldest grandchildren, my sister and I were expected to help convince the younger grandchildren that Santa was real. I went along with this farce reluctantly. "You ask for what you want, and Santa brings it to you," I would say, dutifully.

But how could I, or anyone else for that matter - young or old - be expected to believe it? Life just wasn't like that. You didn't get what you wanted. You got what you didn't want. Look at us. We had recently lost our dad, and now, after thirteen years of staying at home, Mom had to go out and look for a job. This was tough. Mom had few qualifications for the world of work. She had been raised during the Great Depression, and had dropped out of school at an early age to help support the family. Not only had she little education, she had limited experience and no special training.

For months she searched unsuccessfully for work as we sank further and further into poverty. Mom was unable to hold on to the home that Dad had built, and a relative in another town allowed us to live in a back room of her home for a while. The family car disappeared into the night as the repo man performed his duties. Thus Mother's options were further limited to jobs that were within walking distance. In our new town, there were a number of bars that could be reached on foot, but Mother believed that her working in a bar would not be good for her children. So she continued the search.

As Christmas approached, Mother planned to take my sister and me to the school festival. Admission was free, and we could walk there. After we had spent some time looking around, Mother asked us to get in line to talk to Santa, which was the only activity you could do for nothing. I got in line, just to please her. After Santa lifted me onto his lap, he asked what my Christmas wish was. It didn't really matter what I told him, because I knew Santa was just somebody's grandpa dressed in a red suit. Naming a toy would only sadden my mother because she couldn't afford any toys. I decided to tell the truth. "My wish is that my mother would get a job so we can buy groceries," I said in a bold voice.

"And where is your mother?" Santa asked. I pointed her out. "Ho, ho, ho," said Santa, "I'll see what I can do." Why do they always say ho, ho, ho? I thought. A few days after Christmas, the phone rang and Mother picked it up. There was a brief conversation. "Yes...yes...oh, I would love to, yes...All right...Good-bye She turned to my sister and me with a smile that I hadn't seen in a while. "I've been offered a job in the school," she said, her voice rising with excitement. "In the lunch room. Now we're going to be all right." She hugged us both. Then she added, "I wonder how they knew I needed a job?"

Later I found out that Santa Claus, whether he is your grandpa in a red suit or the school superintendent doing his bit at the Christmas festival, is not such a scam after all. And the following Christmas I told the younger kids that if they didn't believe in him they were really missing out.

6/1/2005

2005-01-06T11:00:00.000+08:00

hehehe at last aku guna gak blog kaler itam. nie nak wat lain sket, maklumler awal2 tahun. tak tau ler bertahan lama mana template nie :D .. emm dah dekat seminggu tahun baru 2005 nie. tak banyak mende jadik kat keliling aku. cuma ari tu je laa ada hal sket ngan adik bongsu aku. ada lagi nak citer, karang2 laa sambung balik..

dunia skrg nie memacam jadik. kes tsunami yg paling dasyat lam sejarah telah meragut hampir 200,000 org di asia saja. sedey tgk kat berita! bagus rakyat malaysia nie, bermurah hati. hingga ari nie saja, dah cecah 23juta telah berjaya dikumpulkan..

EpiLoG
bukalah matamu
renunglah disekelilingmu
anak-anak kecil kelaparan
ibu entah kemana
bapa hilang tanpa jejak
tidak kasihankah dikau..

bukalah matamu
renunglah disekelilingmu
adakah kau sedar
Allah sedang menunjukkan balasan
atas kebinasaan ini
sedarlah..

Daddy's Garden ~ By Linda Swartz Bakkar
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

When I was little, I used to think my dad raked the maple leaves into a big pile so that we kids could dive into it and play. In those days, I thought the wheelbarrow that accompanied him to the back garden was meant for the rides he gave us back to the house. His flower garden at the side of the house was his special place of refuge - and it was there that his soul brushed mine to forever bond.

Daddy's garden was full of surprises. Rock paths led to goldfish ponds and little rooms made of evergreens and furnished with stone benches. Birdbaths stood in odd places, and a fountain surrounded by red geraniums and blue lobelia sent water music throughout the garden from an off-center mound in the lawn. As Daddy tended his garden, his gentleness and love radiated to the plants, which responded with luxuriant growth and color. Pulling weeds with him was never tedious, because his love radiated to me as well.

After I grew up and got married, I still spent many Sundays side by side with my dad - pruning, weeding, fertilizing, laughing, basking in the warmth of his unconditional caring. But as the years went by, I did more while he gradually did less. Daddy's spirit stayed strong, but the feebleness of his eighties drove him to sell his property and move to a retirement community.

Before the new owner could bulldoze the garden, my dad helped me take samples of everything: the roses, the various perennials, the dahlias, the peonies, and even some of the rocks from the pathways. We took these - along with a birdbath, the fountain and a stone bench - and put them in my backyard where I made a miniature garden to echo my father's. As I watched Daddy walk with his cane through our garden, I knew that every step was precious, every handful of earth he moved a gift, every rose he pruned a blessing. At the retirement community, I tended my dad as he had tended his flowers. Every day, I had morning coffee with him, and in the afternoon I took him shopping. I organized his medicines and took him to piano concerts. In the spring, I drove him through the suburbs to look at other people's flower gardens or to my house to hear his own fountain singing with birds.

Two years into his new life, I held his hand as he passed away of pancreatic cancer. I felt his young, strong spirit with me, as if he was worried what his leaving would do. But his death could not break the bond between our souls, and I walked barefoot in the grass to receive comfort from the earth. Now, years later, I still sense my dad beside me as I walk in my garden - the child of his garden. I can feel his enjoyment at the hummingbirds splashing in the birdbath. His laughter still echoes in my mind as I pull weeds from around the rosebushes. I carry his spirit in my heart, and with each flower that blooms, I know that he is with me.

5/1/2005

2005-01-05T15:06:00.000+08:00

poster utk ari nie..

I'm Not Scrooge...I'm Just Broke ~ By Storm Stafford
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

It's said that you can never have too many friends, but Christmas was just a week away and I had five people left to shop for on my Christmas list and only three dollars to my name. How do you tell your mother, brother and three friends that you can only spend sixty cents on each of them? "Let's set a price limit on our gifts this year," I suggested to my best friend, Joanie. "That's a good idea," Joanie agreed. "How about nothing over five dollars?" "How about nothing over sixty cents?" I felt like the biggest cheapskate in the world.

"I guess this is where I'm supposed to say it's not the gift, it's the thought that counts," Joanie smiled. "But don't blame me if all you get is a stick of gum!" It is almost impossible to buy anything for under sixty cents, so it was really going to have to be very small gifts with very big thoughts. I'd never spent so much time or effort trying to come up with the right gift for the right person. Finally, Christmas day arrived, and I was worried how people would feel about my "cheap" gifts.

I gave my mother a scented candle with a note that said, "You are the brightest light in my life." She almost cried when she read the note. I gave my brother a wooden ruler. On the back of it I'd painted, "No brother in the world could measure up to you." He gave me a bag of sugar and had written on it, "You're sweet." He'd never said anything like that to me before. For Joanie, I painted an old pair of shoes gold and stuck dried flowers in them with a note that said, "No one could ever fill your shoes." She gave me a feather and a Band-Aid. She said I always tickled her funny bone and made her laugh until her sides ached.

To my other two friends, I gave one a paper fan and wrote on it, "I'm your biggest fan." To the other, I gave a calculator that cost one dollar and I painted a message on the back, "You can always count on me." They gave me a rusty horseshoe for luck and a bundle of sticks tied with a red ribbon because "friends stick together." I don't remember all the other gifts that I got from people last Christmas, but I remember every one of the "cheap" gifts. My brother thinks I'm sweet. My mother knows she is the most important person in my life. Joanie thinks I'm funny and I make her laugh, which is important because her dad moved away last year and she misses him and is sad sometimes.

I was worried I wouldn't have enough money for Christmas gifts, but I gave gifts to five people and still had twenty cents left over. We all still talk about our "cheap" gifts and how much fun it was to come up with a gift that cost pennies but told someone how we really felt about them. On my bookshelf, I still have a bag of sugar, a feather, a horseshoe and a bundle of sticks...and they are priceless.

4/1/2005

2005-01-04T14:43:00.000+08:00

poster utk ari nie..

A Christmas Gift I'll Never Forget ~ By Linda DeMers Hummel
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

He entered my life twenty years ago, leaning against the doorjamb of Room 202, where I taught fifth grade. He wore sneakers three sizes too large and checkered pants ripped at the knees. Daniel made this undistinguished entrance in the school of a quaint lakeside village known for its old money, white colonial homes and brass mailboxes. He told us his last school had been in a neighboring county. "We were pickin' fruit," he said matter-of-factly.

I suspected this friendly, scruffy, smiling boy from an immigrant family had no idea he had been thrown into a den of fifth-grade lions who had never before seen torn pants. If he noticed snickering, he didn't let on. There was no chip on his shoulder. Twenty-five children eyed Daniel suspiciously until the kick-ball game that afternoon. Then he led off the first inning with a home run. With it came a bit of respect from the wardrobe critics of Room 202.

Next was Charles's turn. Charles was the least athletic, most overweight child in the history of fifth grade. After his second strike, amid the rolled eyes and groans of the class, Daniel edged up and spoke quietly to Charles's dejected back. "Forget them, kid. You can do it." Charles warmed, smiled, stood taller and promptly struck out anyway. But at that precise moment, defying the social order of this jungle he had entered, Daniel gently began to change things - and us.

By autumn's end, we had all gravitated toward him. He taught us all kinds of lessons. How to call a wild turkey. How to tell whether fruit is ripe before that first bite. How to treat others, even Charles. Especially Charles. He never did use our names, calling me "Miss" and the students "kid." The day before Christmas vacation, the students always brought gifts for the teacher. It was a ritual - opening each department-store box, surveying the expensive perfume or scarf or leather wallet, and thanking the child.

That afternoon, Daniel walked to my desk and bent close to my ear. "Our packing boxes came out last night," he said without emotion. "We're leavin' tomorrow." As I grasped the news, my eyes filled with tears. He countered the awkward silence by telling me about the move. Then, as I regained my composure, he pulled a gray rock from his pocket. Deliberately and with great style, he pushed it gently across my desk. I sensed that this was something remarkable, but all my practice with perfume and silk had left me pitifully unprepared to respond. "It's for you," he said, fixing his eyes on mine. "I polished it up special."

I've never forgotten that moment. Years have passed since then. Each Christmas my daughter asks me to tell this story. It always begins after she picks up the small polished rock that sits on my desk. Then she nestles herself in my lap and I begin. The first words of the story never vary. "The last time I ever saw Daniel, he gave me this rock as a gift and told me about his boxes. That was a long time ago, even before you were born.

"He's a grown-up now," I finish. Together we wonder where he is and what he has become. "Someone good I bet," my daughter says. Then she adds, "Do the end of the story." I know what she wants to hear - the lesson of love and caring learned by a teacher from a boy with nothing and everything - to give. A boy who lived out of boxes. I touch the rock, remembering. "Hi, kid," I say softly. "This is Miss. I hope you no longer need the packing boxes. And Merry Christmas, wherever you are."

3/1/2005

2005-01-03T14:35:00.000+08:00

poster utk ari nie..

Our "Family" ~ By Linda Snelson
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

My daughter Gina was in Mrs. Melton's fourth-grade class. After only a month in school, she began to come home on a regular basis asking for pencils, crayons, paper, etc. At first I just dutifully provided whatever she needed, never questioning her. After ongoing requests for items that should have easily lasted a mere six weeks of fourth grade, I became concerned and asked her, "Gina, what are you doing with your school supplies?" She would always respond with an answer that satisfied me.

One day, after supplying the same thing only a week earlier, I became irritated with her pleading for more and sternly asked her once more, "Gina! What is going on with your school supplies?" Knowing her excuses would no longer work, she bent her head and began to cry. I lifted her tiny chin and looked into those big brown eyes, filled now with tears. "What?! What is wrong?" My mind was racing with all sorts of ideas. Had she been bullied by another child? Was she giving her supplies to him or her to keep from being hurt, or to gain their approval? I couldn't imagine what was going on, but I knew it was something serious for her to cry. I waited for what seemed like an eternity for her to answer.

"Mom," she began, "there is a boy in my class; he doesn't have any of the supplies he needs to do his work. The other kids make fun of him because his papers are messy and he only has two crayons to color with. I have been putting the new supplies you bought me in his desk before the others come in, so he doesn't know it's me. Please don't get mad at me, Mom. I didn't mean to tell you a lie, but I didn't want anyone to know it was me." My heart sank as I stood there in disbelief. She had taken on the role of an adult and tried to hide it like a child. I knelt down and hugged her to me, not wanting her to see my own tears. When I pulled myself together, I stood up and said, "Gina, I would never get mad at you for wanting to help someone, but why didn't you just come and tell me?" I didn't have to wait for her to answer.

The next day I visited Mrs. Melton. I told her what Gina had said. She knew John's situation all too well. The oldest of four boys, their parents had just moved here and when the school presented them with the school supply list for all four grades they were overwhelmed. When the boys came to school the next week, they barely had the necessities – a few sheets of paper and a pencil each. I asked Mrs. Melton for the list from all four grades and told her I would take care of it the next day. She smiled and gave me the lists.

The next day, we brought the supplies in and gave them to the office with instructions to give them to the boys. As Christmas neared, the thought of John, his brothers and family weighed heavily on my mind. What would they do? Surely they would not have money for gifts. I asked Mrs. Melton if she could get me their address. At first she refused, reminding me that there was a policy that protected the privacy of the students, but because she knew me from my work at the school and involvement on the PTA board, she slipped a piece of paper into my hand and whispered, "Don't tell anyone I gave it to you."

When my family began to set the stage for our traditional Christmas Eve, which was usually held at my house, I simply told them all that my husband, the kids and I did not want gifts, but instead we would prefer to have groceries and gifts for our "family." As the girls and I shopped throughout the holiday season, they delighted in picking things out for the four boys. Gina was especially interested in things for John. Christmas Eve came and my family began to arrive. Each of them had bags of food and gifts wrapped for the children. My living room was full and the excitement was contagious. Finally at 9:00 we decided it was time to take our treasures to them. My brothers, dad, uncles and nephews loaded up their trucks and set out for the apartment complex address that Mrs. Melton gave us.

They knocked on the door and a little boy appeared. They asked for his mother or dad and he ran away. The guys waited until a young man, hardly more than a child himself, came to the door. He looked at the men standing there, with arms full of gifts and bags full of groceries, and couldn't say a word. The men pushed past him and went straight to the kitchen counter to set the bags down. There was no furniture. It was an empty one-bedroom apartment with a few blankets on the floor and a small TV where they obviously spent their time. A Christmas tree was the result of the kids bringing in a bush they had found in the field behind the complex. A few paper decorations made in their classrooms made it look like a real Christmas tree. Nothing was underneath.

The boys and their parents stood without speaking as the men sat down bag after bag. They finally asked who had sent them, how did they know them and so on. But the men just left them with shouts of "Merry Christmas!" When the guys got back to my house they didn't say a word. They couldn't. To break the silence, my aunt stood up and began to sing "Silent Night," and we all joined in. When school resumed, Gina came home daily telling of John's new clothes and how the other children now played with him and treated him like the rest of the children. She never told a soul at school about what we did, but every Christmas since that one she will say to me, "Mom, I wonder what happened to John and his family?" While I'm not quite sure of the answer, I'd like to think that John and his family were somehow helped by my daughter's gift.

2/1/2005

2005-01-02T14:29:00.000+08:00

poster untuk ari nie..

Helping Lauren ~ By Maddy Lincoln, thirteen
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

It would be safe to say that I was definitely not looking forward to my first Christmas after moving to southern Georgia, away from the comforts of my home, friends and family back in Baltimore. Of course, I was looking forward to the presents, but in spite of the joys of the season, I approached Christmas skeptically. I missed the cold weather, the steaming mugs of hot cocoa, my best friends' annual Christmas party, our front hall with its gleaming tree and, most of all, Christmas at Grandma's house.

Our family would tramp into her warm kitchen, all six of us, after a long two-hour drive. The delicious aroma of cookies baking and the turkey roasting in the oven always made my mouth water. Grandma would bustle in with her apron covered in flour, smile and give us each a hug. She would cluck about how cold it was getting, pat us on the head and send us kids off to play. My three sisters and I would wait eagerly for our cousins to arrive. When they finally came, we would all rush down to the basement to discuss Christmas presents in secret. Every Christmas, for as long as I can remember, that's what we did. But now that my family had moved, that Christmas tradition was gone. It was depressing, really; Christmas this year would be different. Yet I learned, with the help of a five-year-old girl named Lauren, that I'm not so unlucky after all.

School was finally out for the holidays, and we were going Christmas shopping - not for us, not even for friends, but for a little girl named Lauren. Lauren is a poverty-stricken five-year-old, and my family and our friends were buying Christmas presents for her that her family could not afford. I walked into Target thinking, What kind of toys would a five-year-old little girl like? But as I gazed down at the list her mother had sent us through Lauren's school, I realized that it didn't have a single toy on it. Lauren had asked Santa for socks, underwear, clothes and shoes - necessities that I had always taken for granted. I can remember many occasions being disappointed by certain presents. I would eagerly grab a box labeled, "To Maddy from Santa" and rip off the shining paper to find...clothes. I would toss it aside. It never dawned on me that some people really don't have these luxuries. Lauren wanted as gifts the things that most kids her age would classify as a waste of wrapping paper.

My sisters and I delighted in picking out little outfits for her and choosing pajamas that had to be warm because, as my sister pointed out, "They probably don't have heat." The real shock came, however, when we went to deliver the packages. We arrived early, at seven o'clock, to spare the little girl's mother possible embarrassment. The whole street was asleep; not even a dog barked as we approached. We drove past the dark windows of abandoned shops, tumbledown houses and trailers. Many of the houses did not have street numbers, and it was difficult to find Lauren's. Her tiny, rusty trailer sat in what seemed to be a random plot of land. They didn't have a driveway, not even a mailbox. Their ancient, dilapidated van was parked in the middle of the muddy yard among trash and broken furniture. The yard was so small that we could barely fit our car into it. The rickety wooden steps leading up to the door looked as if they would collapse under the weight of our bags, and the windows were taped over with black trash bags. Our bright red and green presents stood out against the dark, gloomy landscape.

My mother cautiously picked her way across the grassless yard and approached the steps. Slowly, she laid the bags down and knocked. She returned to the car and was about to drive away when the rusty trailer door slammed open. A woman stepped out, looking angry and confused. "This is for Lauren," my mother explained through the car window, smiling. The lady appeared not to have heard and continued staring blankly at my mother. She hadn't noticed the bright bags at her feet. I quickly reached over and shut off the ignition. My mother got out and once again explained, "We've left something for Lauren - it's for Christmas." The lady's dark eyes softened, and she smiled. She seemed too stunned for words. Offering a simple, "Merry Christmas," we drove off, leaving the woman still standing in her doorway, smiling.

That Christmas, as I sat looking at my brightly wrapped presents, the shining tree and my happy family, I remembered Lauren. I hoped that she was having just as wonderful a Christmas with her family. I felt like we had helped to keep a little girl's belief in Santa Claus alive. Without realizing it, little Lauren helped me learn how truly lucky I am. She taught me a lot about giving and love, and the true meaning of Christmas. That Christmas truly was a memorable holiday. Wherever Lauren is, I hope she felt the same way.

1/1/2005

2005-01-01T14:12:00.000+08:00

poster utk ari nie..

The Other Reindeer ~ By Carrie Powell-Davidson
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

Taking the children to visit Santa has always been a highlight of the season but no visit was so memorable as the year the big guy presented each child with a pair of cardboard antlers. Delighted with their new headgear, my daughter, Courtney then age four and son, Colton, age one, raced frantically about the house pretending to be reindeer. While I was busy with Christmas preparations, the two snuck into the kitchen and acquired some much-needed supplies.

After an uncomfortable length of silence had passed, I put down what I was working on and turned to go check on my little hoofed ones. As I turned, I was greeted by two beaming sets of big brown eyes and smiles as proud as you please. My daughter had donned her treasured antlers and with the aid of a red, felt pen, had coloured the entire center of her face. "I'm Rudolph!" she announced with admiration for herself, little chest thrust forward. Holding very tightly to her hand was my young son, also wearing his antlers but with a large crumpled-up piece of tin foil adhered to the center of his face.

"That's nice," I said. "And who is your little friend?"
Courtney's regimental stance drooped as in with disgust by the mere mention of any confusion. "Mommy!" she clarified, "He's Olive. You know, Olive... The other reindeer!"

31/12/2004

2004-12-31T14:59:00.000+08:00

31-12-2004 : hari nie dah sampai penghujung tahun 2004. macam2 hal jadik sepanjang tahun nie.. ada yg sedey, ada yg eppi jadik kat diri aku. kes gaduh ngan ayah dipetang raya, aku dapat anak sedara- alya afiqa bt mahadi selang 2 ari je dari arijadi aku, tahun nie je kat umah aku dah 2x bela kucen, aku gi port dickson (pd) dan banyak lagi laa.. sampai aku sendiri tak ingat dah. hehehee!

ok, sepanjang minggu nie havoc memperkatakan tentang ombak besar tsunami. tak sangka leh jadik dekat dgn malaysia nie.. ramai penduduk dunia yg mati especially belah2 asia nie. malaysia sendiri kena teruk, hingga ke ari nie seramai 67 org maut. hampir kesemua yg meninggal nie berada di kawasan pantai waktu kejadian ombak tsunami tu melanda. kejadian Allah nie, mmg kita takleh jangka2. tetiba je jadik tsunami kat sini, habih ranap. paling teruk kena tsunami nie ialah acheh dan hingga ke ari nie, dah 400ribu mayat dah dijumpai kat situ ajer. aku takleh bayangkan cemana dorang menghadapi keadaan maut mcm tu. lagi pulak, yg terselamat pun payah nak dpt bekalan obat2an. sian tul .. macam minggu lepas, semua kecoh psl banjir di pantai timur. macamana boleh banjir dalam bandar kota bharu, kelantan. masing2 duk nak salahkan sistem perparitan sedangkan pe yg jadik tu mesti ada sebab musabat. Allah takkan jadikkan satu2 kejadian tu tanpa reason. lam pada tu, heboh psl kes pemain bola sepak yg membatalkan perkahwinan lam tempoh tak sampai 24jam dari ari kawennye. skrg nie, tunggu masuk mahkamah je laa.. malu weyy kalo jadik gini. dan jugak kes adik syazwanie yg dibunuh selepas dirogol oleh indon kat kedah. tak sanggup aku tgk ayah dia masa kat berita tv3 tu, sampai pitam laa depan bilik mayat :( . harap perogol tu kena hukuman bunuh jugak!! emm.. tu je laa updet utk minggu lepas dan juga minggu nie..

tadi aku dah amik henpon 6600 yg aku antar dari 10hb ari tu kat bangsar. jem giler kat jln travel. aku rasa org amik kesempatan cuti tahun baru esok nie. nak masuk ke telawi 3 tu pun terhegeh2. sampai kat nokia store tu, cecepat deal ngan pompuan kat situ. kena charge 280hengget psl kena replace motherboard ngan software skali. mujur laa taim aku ada duwit ni. kalo tak, mau kopak! tak sempat nak test, tunggu sampai umah karang laa..

skrg dah 5.20pm. kat luar yang mendung dari tadi dah pun ujan. mujur renyai2 je. kalo lebat, mesti jem nak balik keje jap lagi. ada baiknye sambutan tahun baru malam nie sume dibatalkan bagi menghormati mangsa tsunami kat luar sana. alangkah baiknya dibuat majlis doa tahlil utk mereka yg kembali kepadaNya daripada duk terkinja2 dgn penuh kemaksiatan.. ok, tu je laa sebagai penutup tahun 2004 ni. jupe lagi tahun depan... 2005!!

EpiLoG

sedetik demi sedetik
sesaat demi sesaat
waktu berputar
masa berjalan
2004 akan ku tinggalkan
dgn seribu kenangan
2005 akan ku sambut
dgn seribu harapan
insyaAllah..

SeLaMaT TaHuN BaRu 2005

Letting Them Go ~ By Gary Usery
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

The preparation was always exhausting, for me anyway. Of course, most of the work fell on me - and my darling wife who makes sure we don't forget anything: preparing menus, shopping for supplies, inspecting camping gear, restringing fishing reels, organizing and restocking tackle boxes, making lists and checking them twice, and making sure it all gets loaded into the van. All of this preparation was for our annual father/son canoeing and fishing adventure. We both looked forward to this trip and the time we could spend together. We were always diligent. We never embarked on our adventures unprepared. As the final preparations were concluded, an irony flashed through my mind: All of the planning and all of the work end up with us letting them go.
The smallmouth bass in the Ozark Mountain streams we fished were a treat to catch, for us and for many other anglers. But they were particularly susceptible to fishing pressures, so I instructed my son about catch and release. I taught him about the joy of letting them go, watching them swim away so they could come to us again another day, bigger and stronger.

This year my son was intent on exerting his independence. After a little refresher on knot tying, he successfully attached his hook to the end of his line and slipped on his bait of choice. We pushed the canoe into the river, and the adventure began. It was not long before the fish began to bite. It was time for more lessons. On each cast I offered a little advice, and help when he asked for it.

"Reel up the slack before you set the hook, son.
"Keep your rod tip up after you set the hook. Don't let any slack in the line.
"Don't reel against the drag. Let the fish take the line.

"Leave enough line so you can reach down and lip the fish, son. There you go. Now grab him quick! Don't be afraid."Now, leave slack in the line when you are taking the hook out. Work quickly so you don't hurt the fish."Here, son, let me help you with that."

As the day wore on, he needed less and less help. Eventually, I remained silent as he hooked a nice smallmouth and let him pull against the drag. He played the fish well. As the fish tired, he gently brought it to the canoe, lipped the fish out of the water, removed the hook, admired it for a moment and let it go. As we watched the fish swim away through the crystal-clear water, my son exclaimed, "I did it, Dad! I did it all by myself! I even let it go!"

All of the preparation, all of the work, all of the instruction, just to let them go. But there was joy in letting them go, as the smile on my son's face attested.
One week later we were going canoeing with the church youth group. My son was now old enough to be a "youth," and this was his first trip with them. A lot seemed to have changed in the span of one week. My son wanted to pack his things all by himself. He didn't mind my being around, so long as I acted like I didn't know him. He even rode in a canoe with someone else. I was glad he blended in with the group so well.

As I reflected on my son's growing independence, the irony flashed through my mind again:
All of the planning, the work, the instruction, the protection and all of the love end up with us letting them go. But there is joy in letting them go.
I hope I can remember that.

16/12/2004

2004-12-16T15:35:00.000+08:00

ari nie dah khamis. tak banyak hal yg jadik minggu nie. sampai ari nie, mende yg aku list down nak buat dah pun aku buat sume. kedai empon pun dah kol pagi tadi. org yg incharge tu tetiba lak ari nie admitted. yg member kat kedai tu lagi sorang kata nanti kalo dah siap dorang akan kol direct. aku kannyer apa, takut gak kut2 kena charge mahal. hopefully, takde ler mahal sgt. pe lagi ekk.. haa..pagi tadi, aku dah apply jawatan yg aku nak tu. hehehe arap2 laa leh dishortlistedkan. kan per, dah serasi ngan org2 kat situ. oh ya, belah pantai timur sepanjang wiken sampai laa skrg nie mengalami banjir yg teruk skali.. arap2 cepatlaa reda!

emm mende ekk aku wat wiken baru2 nie? haa.. lupe nak citer. last week, balik keje aku terus dairet gi umah adik member aku kat vista angkasa. ada open house, ramai gak kenkawan dorang datang. aku sampai2 jer, balun makanan laa per lagi.. ada laksa penang, ada satey ngan nasik impit kuah kacang, rendang, puding, kek kaler2, mihun guring dan memacam lagi laa.. aku sampai tak brenti2 mkn. dah rasa semput, baru laa aku stop. mmg sedap dorang masak, buat sendiri kata adik member aku. duk lepak2 jap sambil layan vcd 7 perhentian, tu pun dah last2 part dah pun. lawak tul citer melayu! :P balik umah, terjumpe lak kucen yg aku bwk balik umah semalam. member aku cam nak taknak je suh aku amik, tapi aku amik je.. mujur ada kotak a4 paper yg aku amik kat opis nie. hehe.. bwk balik naik umah laa kucen tu. kucen tu dikasik nama kiddi psl member aku sker kucen tu. hehe. punyer ler nak bela, sanggup tu gi mikveli semata2 nak beli sangkar utk kiddi tu. tgk harga 55hengget, pinjam dulu duwit member. lak tu ada off 10%, dpt ler rm49.90. dah letak sangkar tu lam keter, gi carik mkn kat burger king. rewang2 lak kat carrefour jap. duk survey barangan elektrik, skali aku tgk ada tv jvc 21 inci murah giler. 399hengget! aku ingat bonus nie nak beli arr. lagipun, dah lama aku nak beli tv sendiri. insyaAllah..

semalam ada test, pagi lak tu. punyer ler lama aku tak wat test, skali nie kena lak amik test. wajib lak tu. ish.. aku cuak dari minggu lepas lagi, masa memula dpt email tu. mana ler tau kut2 aku tergulung lam ketegeri org yg kena masuk kursus. ish.. ketar sejuk dah masa nak masuk bilik temuduga tu.. mujur ler friendly! kalo dak sure kancing gigi aku kat situ. :P dah siap tu, rasa mudah laa pulak. tapi tak tau ler result cemana nanti. besok aku dah apply cuti. mujur bos masuk pdhal dia sepatutnye cuti. tu dia bosan ler duk ghumah ajer.. hehe! so, cuti aku otometik dah diapproved. leh laa temankan adik aku setel hal dia kat uitm tu. so, aku akan updet lagi blog aku minggu depan. so, see ya next week!

EpiLoG

sesuatu antara kita
penah wujud satu ketika dulu
meracun sebuah hubungan
merosak sebuah pertalian
telah mengundang gerimis nan gersang
namun
sesuatu itu telah berlalu
setelah ditolak ketepi
demi menjaga hubungan
agar tak terputus
di tengah jalan percintaanku mohon padaNyaagar mentari itu kan muncul menghilangkan titisansebuah kekecewaan

poster utk ari nie..

Youthful Promises ~ By Denise Fleming
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

The water sparkles below me. Breezes blow through my hair. I am feeling young. The titillating promise of excitement, fun and more youthful feelings is only a ski-length away. While on vacation with my husband and two sons, I wanted to rent a ski boat and make a day of it. I thought it was a grand idea. I was imagining myself actually being an active participant in this family experience instead of the same, tired old cheerleader Mom. Since hitting midlife, I sporadically become delusional. So it was I, who shamed my reluctant husband into renting the boat by calling him a middle-aged grouch with no sense of adventure and precious little time to still assert his male athletic prowess. That seemed to do it.

I was feeling unusually frisky and daring that morning as I tugged on the old swimsuit, not standing in front of a mirror, of course. I recalled the young girl of my early twenties. Ah, I was so cute, so tan, so skinny. I had once skied on a clear blue lake in Colorado. The sky so blue, the air so clean as I skimmed effortlessly along the surface of the water. I had the world at my feet. I was in control. I could do anything! The flood of exciting memories was quickly taking hold, smothering that one little nagging doubt. The doubt that whispered, "You only did this once?" But who cares for caution when the lure of the ski is calling? I was pumped! I was revved! I was ready! My husband could see the gleam in my eye, the determination to ski toward my youth. He knew there was nothing he could say to dissuade me. He only stood there slowly shaking his head.

The first minor detail to attend to is finding the right size life vest. After rummaging around the boat and trying on three or four, which were, of course, made for big strong men (who know how to ski), I finally found a cute little red vest that I thought looked pretty good on me, especially since it hid most of my body. Next comes the part where I jump, however awkwardly, off the boat and into the water. This was my only moment of slight hesitation as I remembered the swarm of nasty-looking fish up by the dock. I had more pressing things to think about at the moment though. The boys were throwing skis at me. I began struggling to get those slender, very long skis on my feet, not an easy task when you're in the water with your cute little life vest having swollen up around your neck and continuously making you roll on your back. After accomplishing that unlady-like task, I was feeling pretty damn good about myself, feeling a little more empowered - a little more cocky, a little more back-to-the-middle of middle age.

Meanwhile, the guys are circling around me in the boat. Over the hum of the engine I think I hear words. "Row-row!" Row? Why do they want me to row? I begin to move my arms in some sort of circular motion when my son leans way over the boat and screams "Rope!" Oh yes! The rope! Grab the rope as it comes around. I knew that. All I need to do is to find the rope that is floating out there somewhere in all that water. I don't see it, but the guys are yelling and pointing so I guess it's out there. I keep searching, searching. Paddling this way, paddling that way, spinning in circles looking for the rope. "Right there, Mom! Right there!" "Right where - WHERE?" Finally the boys throw the rope out where I can see it. I'm wondering why they didn't just do that in the first place.

Rope in hand, skis in a semi-upward direction, I nod my head like a professional, signaling "Good to go!" I'm sure I can do this. I did it once before, didn't I? The engine revs up, the propeller begins spinning. My husband, behind the wheel, full of trepidation, pulls back on the throttle and takes the boat slowly forward, his head bowed, in what I think is prayer.

We start slowly. I feel the rushing of the water against my skin, surfacing the memories of yesteryear. Aaah, yes. I'm beginning to relax into this when the boat starts speeding up. I grip the rope a little tighter, remembering that I still need to get up out of the water. Suddenly we begin going very fast . . . faster . . . and now way too fast! I don't know what happened, but without warning, this sleek, shiny new ski boat has turned into a rip-roaring monster, twisting and turning, blazing through the water at breakneck speed. My mind is a complete blank. What am I supposed to do? There's no time to think. I just keep gripping the rope even as my arms are being ripped apart from the rest of my body! I do remember I'm supposed to keep my legs together - but, oh, the water. There's so much water! I don't remember this much water. Coming at me with the force of steel. I'm using every single muscle in these fifty-year-old legs, struggling to keep them together. Trying to maintain my balance, as well as a little dignity, I begin to come up - up - just a little more - and then . . . in a nano-second I feel it! Oh my God! My legs are actually coming apart - it's happening - it's - it's the splits!

The rope tears itself out of my clutches as if to say, "I've had enough of you," and leaves me to slam face down into what feels like a brick wall. Water immediately rushes up my nose and into my mouth. I think I may be drowning! Am I drowning? Is this it? Is this what will be in my obituary: "Drowned by splitting"? But then, I feel myself being buoyed up and rolled over on my back - Oh my dear, dear little red life vest!

Dazed and sputtering, I surface to find my family circling back towards me. They beg me to get back on the boat, which would have been the intelligent thing to do. But I couldn't let go of the dream just yet. After two more attempts, which were exact replicas of the first, I finally succumb to defeat. With resignation weighing heavy in my mind and heavier still in my body, I clumsily climb back on board, hitting my ankle on the propeller - the last humiliation. The monster's final way of saying, "Gotcha!"

While riding back to middle age, I look behind me, knowing I left my youth somewhere out there in the wide expanse of blue water. A tear forms and rolls down my sunburned (slightly wrinkled) cheek. My mind knows it is time to say good-bye. My heart, well, my heart is heavy and sad. My boys are already scrambling to jump in and begin their amazing acrobatics. As I watch them I feel my sad and heavy heart begin its slow and healing journey. It will take time, but somehow this cushy seat makes it a little more tolerable. I feel my bones relaxing and my skin soaking up the sun. Maybe, just maybe, there are a few perks that come with my much-resisted promotion. I may not have to struggle so hard anymore. Perhaps the hard raw action of youth is giving way to a softer, gentler gesture of age. I am being carried along by the waves of time and with that thought I collapse into an exhausted and most welcomed sleep.

11/12/2004

2004-12-11T08:55:00.000+08:00

hai blog.. lama aku tak updet ko! ari nie dah sabtu, gamaknye sekali seminggu je kot leh updet blog nie.hehehe..! ingat nak updet semalam, server lak ngokngek. siyut je! bila masuk blogger je, stat ler heng tak habih2. pihak it duk monitor kot? ahhahah... oh ye.. sepanjang minggu nie banyak tul mende yg jadik keliling aku. menda tu menda nie, hissh ponin palor teman nie hah! eemmm... setat ari semalam hingga sok lak, ada pcfair kat pwtc. nak gi ke tak nie, sure ramai org. kalo dah gaji, ingat nak beli aksesoris skit utk pc aku tu. cam scanner ker, printer ker, takpun digital kamera baru..ehhehe uppsss!! banyak mende nak beli lak bila ingat2 bonus akan dapat nie..hehee.. mesti member aku marah kalo aku duk nak usha itu ini :P

kelmarin hp wat hal. takleh nak on laa pulak. ni mesti psl aku biarkan bateri kosong tul, salah aku jugak. hah, hambik ko takleh on langsung. memula ok laa dia heng sket2 je bila nak bukak images. skali bila aku duk asek amek gambar kiddi ngan nini, terus laa out. nak kata berat, mebi gak kot. mule ler aku mengelabah takleh tido. hayya! susah ati tul. so semalam, aku gi repair empon kat nokia store, jalan telawi bangsar. ingatkan leh dapat download software so aku takyah laa tinggalkan hp tu. ghupenyer masalah lagi teruk. last2 kena tinggalkan gak kat kedai tu. mamat tu kata kena tunggu lam seminggu, takpun dia akan kol aku sebab dorang nak kena antar ke hq. mebi paling mahal charge kena 180hengget. takpe laa, mahal pun mahal laa... psl hp nie lagi laa mahal.. ni tunggu je laa cemana nanti. arap2leh program kan balik laa.. dah ler banyak gambar lam tu, kira burn gitu jer ler.. sayang tul. ngan gambar adik aku konvo, gambar2 terakhir cici ngan aku, gambar adik lya tak sampai seminggu. ishh.. sedey laa pulak :( . adik aku ingat nak tolak kedai je. last2 aku pikir balik, baik aku yg bayo kat dia..hehe.. bukan murah kalo nak beli kat market tuu.. :D

semalam kol adik yg kat shah alam. dia kata nak balik kampung. eh, tetiba lak nak balik kampung, pulak tu takde lak nak bgtau aku! huhhh!! cakap nyer cakap, ghupe2nye dia sakit. tu lagi satu, takde lak nak bgtau aku! nie aku mmg marah. kan per, kalo pe2 jadik, org kat kampung sure tanye aku dulu. tak tgk2kan adik, pdhal dia yg tak bgtau aku. cukup tensen ngan prangai gini! last2 mlm tadi, dia kata tak jadik balik psl tiket bas dah abih. lagipun kalo balik ganu skrg nie, mebi tak sampai gamaknye. ganu banjir skrg nie, terutama daerah aku tu ngan highway nak gi sana. air makin naik. mak pun bgtau, ayah kena standby orang panggil keje sbb paras air makin naik. sian lak kat ayah aku tu! :(

malam tadi kasik kaunseling sket kat adik aku yg sorang lagi tu psl idop dia. aku tak tau dah nak wat cemana, bak kata org, nasik dah jadik bubur. cume aku arap dia pandai laa pikir pe dia nak buat lam idop dia. lagipu, kalo aku yg aturkan idop dia camtu camni, payah laa.. sampai bila dia nak berdikari dan leh pikir utk diri dia sendiri, tul tak? at least aku dah bagi nasehat, bagi cara cemana utk next step, arap dia wat laa. jgn dengar tinger kanan kuar tinger kiri. sedey arr aku! cam kejap nie, aku carik no.tepon kpm kat putrajaya utk dia kol. tanye cemana status dia skrg. kalo ada peluang, alhamdulillah laa.. aku sebagai kakak bersyukur kalo dia leh keje. kalo setakat nak arapkan spm, mana der org pandang dah skrg.. walopon aku kata aku lepas tangan, tapi aku still concern pasai aku nie kakak. lagi satu, aku tau cemana rasa down tuu.. tah ler, arap dia leh leh pikir pe yg terbaik utk diri dia sendiri..

haa.. balik keje jap2 lagi nak gi umah adik member. ada wat makan2, lebey kurang open house gak laa. kat vista angkasa..hehehe.. agak2 pe dorang masak ekk..?

EpiLoG

andai air mata itu
mengalir dari kesalmu
ku memaafkanmu..

andai air mata itu
hanya mainan bagi mu
lupakanlah aku..
sejenak dalam lamunan
terusik dengan kilauan
andai itu jalan pulangku kan bersamamu

poster utk ari nie..

Wisdom of the Birds ~ By Susan Siersma
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

After raising three children to adulthood, my husband and I were sharing more time together, and we believed that we would have "money in the bank" some day in the not too distant future. "Won't it be great when we're retired?" became a frequent sentence in our conversations. Then, an unforgettable year arrived and changed everything.

It was one of those years, the kind when I found my inner voice whispering, "What else can go wrong?" My mom's health was rapidly failing and our unwed daughter had moved back in with us after delivering a baby girl. During the previous winter, my husband's mother died a slow, cruel death from Alzheimer's disease and his father had been hospitalized following emergency surgery. My husband's mental and physical health began deteriorating with the weight of life's troubles. Our friends and relatives seemed to be experiencing their unfair share of hardships too. Then September 11th happened. Suddenly, my husband's seemingly secure job became very insecure as the economy wavered. Life became a topsy-turvy struggle and our marriage was faltering under the strain.

Our daughter's weakened emotional condition, created by the sudden out-of-state move by her baby's father (he was to be the baby's caregiver) created the need for me to request an emergency leave of absence from my job as a special education aide. I would care for her baby while my daughter was student-teaching - student-teaching was the only portion of her schooling left to earn the elementary education degree she needed to secure her future. Though I had been a dedicated district employee for eleven years, the unpaid, short-term leave I requested was denied. Unfortunately, I was caught up in the poor timing of a new superintendent and new special education supervisor; neither knew me. They didn't realize that I had spent the last eleven years totally devoted to my special education students. Leaving a rewarding, stable job to care for my granddaughter would be a financial burden and a difficult choice, but my heart knew it was the only right choice.

From the time I was a young girl, my parents had instilled in me a love of nature, of all the best, beautiful, free things that life had to offer. Now, more than ever, I would need to draw on that love of nature; it would provide me with the strength needed to pull through the rough times. I began to take long walks with my granddaughter and I found that I would return home physically and spiritually renewed. Autumn was upon us; Alyssa would giggle with delight whenever I placed a leaf or a dried dandelion on the tray of her stroller.

As the trees became bare, I became aware of bird's nests that had been hidden in the dense summer foliage. "Alyssa, look - a little bird's nest," I would say. One of the most beautiful nests we found was a tiny, circular one created from bits of dried grasses. The weaving was tight, strong, and yet soft to the touch. Surely it would have rivaled one of Frank Lloyd Wright's creations. Some were crafted from feathers, dryer lint and bits of pet fur. Still other nests were masterpieces of corn silks, twine, strands of Easter grass and cellophane. How resourceful those little birds were! Each day, my eyes were drawn upward as I discovered more nests. Some were reinforced with mud, forming super strong foundations. Through wind, rain, thunder and lightning, they held together. I began to think about the birds - how simple, yet how hard their lives were. It occurred to me that no matter what obstacles were placed in their path, they managed to overcome, to survive. And faithfully, they started each new day with a song.

Those walks helped transform an extremely difficult, desperate time in my life to a more peaceful one. Through my observations of nature, I had faith that everything would work out and we would prevail. Like the birds and their nests, our family had a strong foundation. We were now living a more simple life, spending only what we needed to spend, and all the time becoming more resourceful. Courageously, the little birds of the air huddle close during stormy times, and the current turbulence seemed to be drawing our family closer together. And in the same way that the little birds started each day with a song, we began to listen to beautiful music more often. A sense of tranquility was settling over our home.

Time has a way of healing, of smoothing over the bumpy parts of our lives. Gradually we see things from a different perspective. One afternoon, while out walking with my granddaughter, I witnessed the most exceptional message of all from the birds. "Look at the geese, Alyssa," I said, as a flock of geese flew overhead in a perfect V formation. For some odd reason, one goose left the group and started to fly in an entirely different direction. The main flock completely changed its course and gradually picked up their wayward member. As I watched this simple, beautiful display, I couldn't help but think of my family. Our lives too, it seemed, had gone astray for a while. But through courage, inner strength and pure love, our family would change its course and triumph. I knew that all would be well.

6/12/2004

2004-12-06T13:16:00.000+08:00

senin nan mendung.. ari nie naper tah rasa semacam je. mebi psl aku ngantuk, langsung jadik moody. skrg nie on forum, tapi malas nak posting. last2 aku logout. updet blog laa baru beh. semalam gi jalan2 ngan member area kl nie.. member tak drive ari nie psl senang naik public transport. so, kitorang decide naik tren lagi mudah. memula gi times square, ramai tul org soping. kat tempat game lagi laa.. memacam kerenah remaja skrg yg aku tgk cukup memualkan. tah ler, naik pelik lak aku! yg pompuan, pakaian selagi tak sedat padat, tak moden kononnye. yg lelaki lak, kalo tak tindik telinga tu, mmg tak sah!! haper ker pesen tah.. naik meremeng mata memandang. kalo aku kata gini depan org, mebi dorang kata aku not up-to-date. tapi tu laa pandangan aku kat remaja kl nie, mostly beraney dorang nie. nampak lak segrup yg overexposed kat public, ngan bola basketballnyer laa.. tau ler ada game semalam kat luar times square tu, tapi takyah laa main bola tu sampai kat area kedai2 lak. hush..rimas nengok ehh!!

pas gi times square, menapak lak gi bukit bintang. perut dah rasa lapar dah. singgah sungei wang dulu, rewang2. kebetulan ada promosi katun2 apa tah, yg aku nampak ada lukisan katun yg masuk final. dan ada jugak 2-3 org (aku agak pelukis katun game ragnarok) kat atas stage tu sambil ada 'q' panjang nak mintak otograp gamaknye. nak kuar dari situ pun satu hal, ramai gilosss... sesak napas aku! kuar dari situ, gi makan kat bukit bintang. pekena nasik ayam ngan member pekena claypot yee mee. kenyang + penat kaki.. rewang2 pahtu gi lak ke pwtc. tgk pameran hartanah dan perumaha. omak aihhh, mahainye ghumah. aku baru plan nak usha2 apartment, tapi kalo harga lebey dari 100ribu hengget, mana nak cekau duwit. ush.. setakat amik pamplet je la. tgk jam, dah dkt jam 6pm. kat luar dah gelap, jgn laa ujan seblom sampai umah. mujur terus ada tren. sampai kat bwh, singgah menom2 dulu. tekak dahaga tul, maklumler berjalan. kaki dah penat ya amat. nie mesti lama tak jalan kaki nie. sampai umah je, terus lending kat bwh kipas kat ruang tamu. mujur hosmet balik kampung, leh laa berlenggeng. kaki dah bengkak laa pulak, hayyaa.. tu baru jalan skit tu, blom exersais tul2 lagi.. hehehe..!

oh ya, semalam tgk vcd seed of chucky. giler beh yg kali nie. memang mantap laa.. lawak pun ada gak, terutama taim chucky ngan anak dia, glen/glenda, main racing keter ngan britney. skali keter britney terbabas dan meletop, chucky ckp "oppss i did it again".. mmg lawak laa! tapi ada babak2 kotor gak .. ceh!

emm.. tadi dah email kat kakak sorang tu suh approve bos aku punye cuti. baru jap nie check, dah approved dah pun..yeahaa...lama tul bos aku nie nak cuti. ngabihkan cuti kata dia, nie tah2 dia datang gak opis. kan leh kira! tapi kan, nanti kalo aku nak cuti lak, sapa yg akan approve? bih laa!! nampak gayanye kene ler aku approve sendirik cuti aku.. so far, menda aku nak wat ari nie, dah pun siap. eemm.. sok bos aku dah mula cuti, per ler yg aku nak buat ekk sepanjang bulan nie..? mula laaa aku blur nie..

EpiLoG

mencari jalan pulang
terkaku dipersimpangan
jalan mana harus ku tempuh
atau menuju jalan lurus
tanpa ku tahu
apa yg bakal ku temu
dalam mencari
sesuatu yang ku pasti
jawapan yg ku cari
dalam hati ini....

poster utk ari nie..

Big Men, Big Hearts ~ By Phyllis W. Zeno
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

On the weekends I work in a coffee store in an old cigar factory in the historic area of Tampa. Sometimes kids from the projects stop by for candy sticks, and if I'm not too busy, I let them weigh out coffee and grind it, fill the jars with candy and even run the cash register.

A few weeks ago on a big football weekend, Omar, a bright little ten-year-old, came by to visit, and I gave him some chores to help pass a rainy day. In mid-afternoon, a giant of a man appeared in the doorway, and Omar was goggle-eyed at his size.

"I bet he's a famous football player," I whispered to him. Omar giggled. The big man approached the counter with a wide grin on his ebony face.

"What you gigglin' at?" "I told him you were probably a famous football player," I explained with some embarrassment. He held out a hand as big as a ham hock with a gold ring on his middle finger.

"Can you read that?" he asked Omar. Omar twisted the ring so he could see it better. "Pitts-burgh Steel-ers," he read slowly. "That's right," said the man and turned his finger sideways. "Can you read this?"

Omar squinted. "Super Bowl Champion!" A light clicked in my less-than-athletic brain. "You know who this is?" I nudged Omar, hardly able to contain my excitement. "This is Mean Joe Green!" Omar looked at him quizzically. Then his face lit up. "Do you know Franco Harris?"

I glared at Omar. "I bet you'd like Joe Green's autograph, wouldn't you?" I prodded. "Yeah, sure," said Omar while I rummaged for paper and pen. "How could I get in touch with Franco Harris?" Joe grinned. "He's staying at the downtown Hyatt. Call his room and say you're a friend of mine." Joe signed his autograph and handed it to Omar.

While nudging Omar a reminder to say thank you, I said, "Give me that autograph, and I'll put it in a candy bag so you don't get it all crumpled up." I laid it on the shelf for safekeeping and turned to thank Mr. Green myself before he moved on to another store. "Why in the world would you ask about another player when you had Joe Green right here?" I snapped. "That was downright insulting!"

Omar shrugged and said innocently, "I like Franco Harris." "I'm surprised he even bothered to give you an autograph!" I glared at him. I returned to helping customers. The day ended with a flurry of business, and Omar, thoroughly chastened, departed abruptly, leaving his autograph behind.

The next Saturday he appeared again. "I forgot my autograph." "I know," I said, pointing to the shelf. "It's still up here where I put it for safekeeping." I reached for the bag thinking, He is only ten after all. Maybe Joe was big enough not to have been offended. Omar reached into the bag to look at his trophy once more.

"There's something else in the bag," he said, puzzled, handing me a second piece of paper. Because I'd been off-duty since the prior weekend myself, I, too, was surprised to see something other than what I had personally placed in the bag for Omar. I opened it and read out loud: "Omar . . . sorry I missed you. Franco Harris!"

Omar's eyes lit up with both disbelief and excitement as he took the paper to see for himself. These two big men - with equally big hearts - apparently came back into the store after my shift to leave a special surprise for a young boy. Mean Joe Green isn't so "mean" after all - quite the contrary!

2/12/2004

2004-12-02T21:31:00.000+08:00

khamis..

sekejap je dah nak abih bulan Syawal. sedar tak sedar lagi 29 hari nak masuk tahun baru. tahun nie takde azam rasanye, sbb asek tak terbuat je. azam kan main banyak, nak buat itu nak buat ini. last2, satu haprak pun tak buat. tu yg maleh tuu! tapi nak gak laa wat azam utk diri aku sendiri.. heheh.. aku ingat tahun depan aku nak blanje ikut bajek. nie idak, asal dpt gaji, tah apa aku beli. bila tengah bulan, mula ler menjajau takdak duwit.. ish.. per ler aku nie. so, azam tahun depan, simpan duwit! hehehe.. menda nie salu member tegor aku, tapi aku nie pesen tak jugak gheti2 nak ikut, dengor tu mmg ler dengor. sbb aku bukan pekak lagi..eheheh..

emm.. pe lagi ek. haa.. sejak lepas poser nie, napsu makan aku melampau2 lak. ingat nak kurangkan makan, banyakkan exercise. sebalik nyer laaa pulak. tak tau laa ngape, mebi psl aku makan makanan yg sedap2 kot?! dan aku pun pelik, lam aku takdak duwit nie, pandai lak aku berjimat cermat. kalo ikutkan, seminggu dah abih 50hengget, kadang2 tak cukup lak tu. nie sampai skrg, still ada belen lagi .. impress aku tul laa ngan diri aku sendiri....

EpiLoG

mencari damai dihati

dalam kemelut menyelubungi diri

atau aku hanya bermimpi

pada fajar yang mendampingi

menyesakkan hati dan nurani

seorang ini.. dan bisakah terulang

misteri kejadian semalam

mengundang kekecewaan

dalam hati seorang insan

yang telah tergelempangan

mencari arah jalan pulang

"In real love, you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the other person.

poster utk ari nie..

When Dreams Won't Die ~ By Marilyn Johnson Kondwani
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

Ever since I can remember, I've been fascinated by beauty. As a young girl surrounded by the numbing sameness of all those cornfields around Indianapolis, the glamorous worlds of fashion and cosmetics were a magnificent escape for me. Every time I looked at the advertisements in women's magazines - all those gorgeous models with flawless skin and expertly applied makeup, their statuesque bodies adorned with incredible designer outfits - I was whisked away to exotic places I could only revisit in dreams.

The Revlon ads were especially wonderful. But there was only one problem - not one ad in those days featured a woman of color like me. Still, there was a "whisper of wisdom" inside me, telling me that someday my dream would come true and I would have a career in the cosmetics industry. Very few companies bothered to market cosmetics to women of color in those days, but my inspiration came from C. J. Walker, the first African-American woman to become a millionaire. She started out with two dollars and a dream, right in my own hometown. She earned the fortune at the turn of the century, with her own line of hair-care products just for women like herself.

I graduated from college with a degree in public health education. Before long I got a job with a leader in the pharmaceuticals industry - and became the first African-American woman to sell pharmaceuticals in Indiana. People were shocked that I took the job because a woman of color selling encyclopedias in my territory had just been killed. In fact, when I started, the physicians I dealt with looked at me as if I had two heads. But eventually my uniqueness worked to my advantage. The doctors and nurses remembered me. And I reversed the negative halo effect by doing the job better than other people. Along with pharmaceuticals, I sold them Girl Scout cookies and helped the nurses with their makeup. They began to look forward to my coming, not just for the novelty, but because we enjoyed such heartwarming visits.

Within two years, I'd broken numerous sales records and was recognized as a Distinguished Sales Representative, formerly an all-white male club. I was looking forward to some hard-earned commission checks when suddenly, the company decided to subdivide the region and hired a handsome blond man to take my place. He would enjoy the fruits of my labor, while I was reassigned to another area that needed a lot of work. At this point, my dream of that cosmetics career with Revlon seemed a million miles away. Discouraged and disenchanted, I picked up and moved to Los Angeles. Then one Sunday, as I searched longingly through the ads in the Los Angeles Times, there it was: a classified ad for a regional manager job with Revlon. I lit up completely and dove for the phone first thing Monday morning. The voice at the other end said that due to overwhelming response, Revlon was taking no more résumés.

I was devastated. But then a dear friend said to me, "Marilyn, I know you aren't going to let this job slip through your fingers. Go on down there anyway." Suddenly inspired and determined to turn the challenge into an adventure, I drove down to the Marriott where they were conducting interviews. When I arrived, a desk clerk curtly informed me that there was no way I could get an interview, nor would Mr. Rick English take my résumé. I walked away, smiling. At least I now had the name of the man I needed to see. I decided to have lunch to listen for the whisper of wisdom that would provide me with a new strategy. Sure enough, the idea came to me to explain my situation to the cashier as I was about to leave the restaurant. She immediately picked up the phone to find out what room Mr. English was in. "Room 515," she said turning to me. My heart began to pound.

I stood outside room 515, said a prayer, and knocked on the door. The minute he opened the door I said, "You haven't met the best person for the job because you haven't talked to me yet." He looked stunned and said, "Wait a minute until I finish this interview and I'll speak to you." When I entered the room, I was clear and firm that this job was for me, and I got the job. My first day at Revlon was like a dream come true. They hired me to market a new line of hair-care products designed especially for people of color. And by the time I'd worked there three years, the public was beginning to demand natural, cruelty-free products. With public sentiment on my side, here was my chance! Once again listening to the whisper of wisdom inside me, I opened my own cosmetics company, which to this day continues to give me a sense of fulfillment impossible to describe.

I truly believe we should never give up on our hopes and dreams. The path may be rocky and twisted, but the world is waiting for that special contribution each of us was born to make. What it takes is the courage to follow those whispers of wisdom that guide us from inside. When I listen to that, I expect nothing less than a miracle.

29/11/2004

2004-11-29T21:35:00.000+08:00

senin..

ari nie sedey sgt psl kid punye empon ilang.. !

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was."

poster utk ari nie..

Keeping the Harvest ~ By Carol McAdoo Rehme
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

He rounded the corner where cornstalks still stood, tattered heroes of the garden patch. Late-afternoon sunlight filtered through a canopy of bare branches, laying down a grid of shadows. Underfoot, the crunch of dry, caramel-colored leaves sounded the music of a Colorado autumn.

It was the season for "after harvest." Or, what Emma called their "time of plenty." A time to count their many blessings. Long after the last sun-ripened tomato was picked, the last of the autumn raspberries eaten and the garden put to bed for the winter, his wife always insisted on seeking out the later gifts of nature.

Fred knew the best places to start. Hadn't he searched and gathered on every square foot of this property for forty-four years now? Planted it? Tended it? If Emma were here, she'd be out here with him. But Emma wasn't here. So he would do alone what they had always rejoiced in doing together.

At the grape arbor, Fred took out his pocketknife and cut away aged vines, careful to take only the overgrowth. When he had enough, he tucked and plaited, wove and wrapped, shaping the supple lengths to form a wreath. At the lip of their hand-dug pond, Fred pawed through the disheveled heads of cattails. Finding two still nappy and whole, he snapped them from their stalks and laced them through one side of the circle.

At the fence line, Fred clipped a few twigs of juniper berries and harvested two feathery plumes from the towering pampas grass. Thick fingers knew automatically where to put them, how to secure them. He paused beneath a flaming mountain ash. Its clumps of jack-o'-lantern orange berries added a festive touch. Satisfied, he studied the wreath, inspecting it for soundness. For balance. For beauty.

The drive to the Alzheimer's unit was short and pleasant. Humming under his breath, Fred nodded a greeting at the nurses' station and walked into the day room. Ema stared unseeingly out the bank of windows while her veined hand plucked rhythmically at her blouse. Fred laid his offering on a round table and leaned to kiss her.

"Look what I made today, sweetheart. It's 'after harvest,' and the property is brimming with all your favorite things." Fred pointed to the circle. Emma's bleached blue eyes focused on the wreath. "Just see how thick and sound the grapevines are now, Emma. Remember how you insisted we plant those spindly things the very first year we moved to the farm?" Stilling her hand with his own, he guided her fingers around the broad circle.

"Why, looky here. Pampas grass. And cattails, two of them. One for you and one for me." Her tentative finger traced the velvety lengths. "And, oh, sweetie, these beauties are clustered thick on the mountain ash. Nearly had to fight off the grackles to get to them this year!" Emma was smiling. Fred squeezed her hand and grinned back. If she couldn't tromp through the seasons herself, then he would bring those blessings to her. After all, it was a "time of plenty" - plenty of memories.

And Fred had gathered enough for both of them.

26/11/2004

2004-11-26T11:17:00.000+08:00

setelah skian lama.... akhirnye leh gak aku tuko template..ehehhe..

10/11/2004

2004-11-10T10:14:00.000+08:00

11/11/2004 - 21/11/2004

(cuti ~ balik kampung beraya di Ganu)

aku nak ucapkan selamat ari raya, maap zahir batin kat semua org yg penah aku wat salah..kalo ada kecik ati tu, maap2kan laa.. semoga raya tahun nie akan membawa seribu satu kenangan lam idup aku dan idop korang jugak. pada yg drive tu, berhati2 laa di jalanraya. pandu cermat, jiwa selamat. wassalam..

Selamat Hari RayaMaaf Zahir & Batin

*akan online semula pada 22/11/2004

5/11/2004

2004-11-05T21:22:00.000+08:00

jumaat.. ari nie ngantuk skit2 je, leh tahan lagi. internet slow je, tensen gak nak updet blog. bos lak masuk lambat psl gi tgk member dia operet batu karang ari nie kat tawakal.. yeahaa.. !

tengahari gi jalan TAR, ingat nak soping tapi org ramai sgt. tgh jalan2 tetiba ujan lebat. dah ler tak bawak payung, redah jer laa. sementara tunggu ujan brenti, singgah ssf home deco mart. ingat nak beli bunga2 kecik yg letak kat baju tu tapi takde lak warna yg aku ndak. . gi sogo, ramainyer org. dah ler sales. hayya, nak jalan pun tak beh. ingat aku nak beli beg balik kampung, dah takde dah. terus mood aku down. balik naik star, tapi member ingatkan aku psl casing. turun balik kat masjid jamek. cari2 casing kat area tu, dapt beli 2 kaler merah dan satu kaler purple.

petang, balik ghumah ingat nak berbuka kat gerai bawah ngam member. skali dah ujan lebat, banjir kat depan tu. tak jadik... so, aku masak je ikan patin yg aku beli semalam ngan goreng sayur brokoli n bunga kubis. kira tu je laa yg mampu. dah ler kuih takde satu pun, tgk lam peti cuma ada puding buah je. ok laa tu.. dah berbuka, operasi kuih raya pun bermula. sempat aku buat kuih celop cokelat (guna acuan bunga dahlia) ngan biskot mazola (yg aku tak penah miss every year). mujur ada org tulung :D tq..... cici tak mengaco sgt psl dia duk tido tinggi kat atas kotak. 11.45pm, siap sume 3 adunan aku tu. hehe.. sok ker lusa ke leh wat cornflakes madu lak.

"Doubt of the reality of love ends by making us doubt everything."

poster utk ari nie..

A Miracle for My Heart ~ By Karlene McCowan, R.N., M.S.N.
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

Imagine a boulder jarred loose from its solid rock foundation after a series of earthquakes. Can you see it perched precariously on a crumbling, rocky overhang midway down a steep mountainside, one aftershock away from violent descent and disintegration into millions of tiny fragments? If you have a mental picture of that, then you can visualize my marriage from 1991 to 1996.

After nine sometimes challenging but mostly wonderful years, my standard response to any cheerful, "Hi, how are you?" was a flat, "Hey, just trying to stay married." And I wasn't trying to be funny. I was just keeping it real. When had reality evolved to this? I had to dig deep to resurrect our first reality, the happy one, the beginning. . . . Our first official date at a restaurant ended with us hanging out at his mother's house with his sister and her boyfriend. Lots of talking and laughing, meaningful glances, teasing, testing. But more than anything, I remember feeling incredibly comfortable and connected. Somewhere near the end of the evening, this funny, spiritual, musical, ambitious, solid-rock-steady, bold, beautiful black man became the brand-new owner of my heart.

Gradually, the tart aftertaste from my previous relationship was invaded by the fresh sweetness of our three-year romance. We laughed and played, kissed and cuddled, shared and dreamed. I didn't have to wonder what heaven was like. Being with this man was the closest I'd ever come to being on hallowed ground. Now, don't get me wrong. Naturally, I'd always understood God as holy and Creator, but I'd never experienced Him as friend and companion. I realize now that if there had been a simpler, less painful way for me to learn that my God - not my fiancé - was to be the number-one man in my life, events would have unfolded differently.

So what was all the talk about "Marriage is work"? Marriage was marvelous! I didn't know who all the other women in the world had married, but I had a prince! That's why I was careful not to rock the boat, not to say or be anything that might jeopardize this miracle on Earth. I was determined that nothing would separate us - not careers, or children, or "growing apart," or "irreconcilable differences." I wanted it to be a perfect marriage, but I didn't understand that perfection grows from the seeds of humanness, watered by divine grace. How could I possibly know that the turbulent waterfall we were headed for eventually surfaced in pristine pools of calm, clear, deeply peaceful waters? I had read that God's strength was made perfect in our weakness, but I had to live it to learn it.

It was the mid-1990s. I was oblivious to politics, the economy, world events, whatever. I only knew that I had forgotten what it meant to be a vibrant, versatile participant in a meaningful life. Everything that could possibly go wrong in our marriage gradually did. I suddenly found that my duties as a wife, mother, homemaker, RN, and church deaconess were performed with robotic obligation, completely devoid of joy or purpose. God seemed to be on extended vacation, and I sure hoped He was having fun, because I definitely wasn't. In fact, if this was to be my life, I was no longer interested. How had my failing marriage come to represent my self-esteem, my accomplishments, my entire world? And when exactly had my emotional whirlwind of anger, resentment, irritability and depression settled into a mindless state of numb indifference? It would take a miracle for my heart to live and breathe and thrive again. And that is exactly what God had in mind.

By the time my husband invited me to hear him play with a jazz band one evening at a local function, I didn't care enough anymore to have any man in my life, divine or otherwise. God, however, was a sweet and faithful song, looking beyond my faults to see my need. Even as I refused my husband's invitation, ignored the flicker of hope that faded from his eyes as I claimed to be without a babysitter, angels must have been hastily dispatched to do the Master's bidding. While I returned to my magazine, he finished loading up his instruments and paused at the door.

"If we can't support each other anymore, there's no reason to stay together. If you really don't want to go tonight, it's okay. But I already packed a bag, and I won't be back after the concert."
He couldn't possibly feel the chill that instantly descended on my heart and stilled the flow of blood in my veins. He could only see my brief upward glance, and the casual shrug of my shoulders. He only heard a flippant "Okay, whatever," before turning slowly and walking out.
I remember the crushing silence that followed the closing of the door. Finally, it could all be over. Why wasn't I relieved? What was that strange stirring in my heart that in some mystical way made me struggle to catch my breath and order my thoughts? Fear? Indecision? Desperation? Or was it simply the unmistakable fluttering of angels on assignment? I tried to refocus on my ridiculous magazine, but the words blurred into a haze of gray and it fell from my hands. A silent prayer exploded in my mind, God, you said you'd handle this and you didn't! I talked to you over and over again about this and trusted you to work it out, but it's falling apart. What about my children? My family? I did my part but you didn't do yours! I slid off the couch and collapsed face down on the carpet, knees drawn up under my belly, arms outstretched in abject surrender.

"God, please . . ." For the first time in my life I felt truly connected to the Savior as my lifeline. "God, please . . ." My humanness was swallowed up in His divinity, His peace was mine.
An intense restlessness suddenly dispelled my calm and compelled me to my feet, willed me to the phone. Three attempts. Three failures. No babysitter. A jumble of disconnected thoughts: Maybe my marriage wasn't meant to work? Why can't I just read my magazine? I don't want him to leave! But it's too hard; I already tried. It's too soon to give up; it could work. Swallow your pride. You know you still love him, and you saw his eyes, he loves you back. But I'm so tired. The shrill ringing of the phone vaporized my thoughts. "Hello?" It was a close family friend. "Is there something you'd like to do tonight? I can babysit for you if you want."

"What?" How was this possible? (Obviously my faith was quite a bit smaller than a mustard seed.) "I thought you were at a program tonight," I whispered. "Well, for some reason I think it's more important that I babysit for you. Do you want me to come?" A surge of excitement. Crazy hope. "Yes!"

He didn't see me slip silently into an empty seat in an unlit corner, but his eyes periodically swept the room, purposeful, persistent - things I'd always loved about him. When he found me his face lit up like the sun. He grabbed the mike and announced to 150 people that "a very special person has just arrived, and I'd like to ask my beautiful wife to please stand." Even as my tears threaten to spill over at this moment, I would be lying if I said it was easy after that night. We would return to the brink of collapse more than once. But that night we both knew that God had engineered a miracle to keep us together. And today, two weeks from our twentieth anniversary, I am still amazed at the shift in my chest when I see him across a crowded room, at the ache in my gut when I miss him and hear his voice on the telephone across the miles, at the way I bask contentedly in the warmth of his eyes and the sweetness of his kiss.

And I never cease to wonder that my own personal God loves me enough to send angels on a mission to transform hurt into healing, and grant me a miracle for my heart.

4/11/2004

2004-11-04T21:15:00.000+08:00

khamis. kaki still sakit lagi, dah ler tadi masa sahur kena gastrik + angin tetiba. adeehhhaaii.. letak minyak angin pun tak lepas. last2 sendal ngan bantal kat perut. baru laa lega skit.. dah lena sbb sakit perut ni, tak bangun lak pagi. kaki lak sakit .. last2 aku msg bos bgtau aku masuk lambat psl sakit kaki. then aku sambung tido. hahaha.. teruk tul aku :D

jam 3pm, dah berkira2 nak makan per. bosan le berbuka kat umah psl hosmet sorang tu ada. rimas lerr.. last2 ajak member berbuka kat mikveli. menu? will be discussed later.. tgk kat luar, ujan. petang2 skrg nie asek ujan. emm.. rahmat dari Allah tu, supaya takder ler kita rasa dahaga sgt nak2 waktu cenggini. adik msg bgtau dia gi wat rebonding rambut kat kl sentral. dia tu kan, kalo selagi tak buat, tak sah!

petang, balik dari opis terus gi mikveli ngan member. buat pilihan samada nando's atau ayamas. then aku pun suggest laa kenny rogers .. so, pilih kenny rogers. sementara tunggu berbuka, kuar dulu jalan2 (dah reserved tempat duduk). beli roti kat bread story, mmg nampak sedap. pahtu duk survey peti es baru - panasonic trinity. lawa woo.. besar pun besar, 2 pintu. aku berkenan yg nie.. hehe.. nanti laa, awal tahun depan aku beli. dah dkt2 berbuka, masuk balik kenny rojes. emm.. dapnyee blackpepper ciken! :P habis aku mkn. tapaukan adik kfc snack plate. karang sahur mkn roti je laa..

"Gratitude, like love, is never a dependable international emotion."

poster utk ari nie..

Naming Worms ~ By Allison McWood
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

I think my dad wanted a son. Instead, he got three daughters. Seeing as how the son he anticipated was never forthcoming, Dad decided to improvise and I, being his youngest, won the privilege of being nurtured outdoors. Being turned into a tomboy didn't bother me in the least. I loved putting on my plaid, flannel shirt and doing things outside with Dad, especially fishing. Whether we oared across a lake in a rowboat or hiked down a cliff with nothing more than a hook and some string, I could think of no better way for a dad and his little girl to spend the day.

I would marvel at how patient and focused Dad was when he fished. He would concentrate on his line for hours at a time. If he was any more calm, he would have slipped into a coma. This used to drive me bananas. Being seven years old, I craved more excitement. I imagined a huge fish, bigger than me, gulping down my bait and flapping ferociously in the water until I heroically hauled it into the rowboat. This never happened. Instead, I would spend my time watching Dad as he stared intently at his line. He never blinked, sometimes for the whole day. How could he be so patient?

One day Dad's patience was put to the test when my fascination shifted from the fish to the bait. While waiting for a nibble on my line, I peeked into the can of worms we had in the rowboat with us. I dug my little fingers into the moist soil and pulled a resisting worm from his burrow. I let him squirm (I decided it was a "he") across my hand. It tickled. I took another worm from the can. Then another. Then another. Soon, three or four worm heads popped out of the soil to see what all the commotion was about. I was in love.

I felt as though I had made a can-full of new friends that would keep me company during these long, uneventful fishing trips. Each worm was given a name according to his personality. When you are seven years old, worms have personalities. There was something endearing about my mucous-covered companions with no faces. I promised each of them that not one would be put on a hook and fed to the fish. Then disaster struck. Dad pulled Hamilton out of the can. I gasped in horror as he attempted to manipulate his poor, writhing body onto a hook. There was a terrified look where Hamilton's face would have been, if he had a face.

"Daddy, No! Don't put Hamilton on the hook! He's my favorite!"
Dad raised an eyebrow. "You named the worm?" he asked in disbelief.

Exhaling and shaking his head, Dad pulled out another worm. It was Wigglesworth. He was the skittish one who was particularly worried about being used as bait. I had made a special promise to him and could not possibly allow the poor little guy to be hooked, for I was a woman of my word.

"That's Wigglesworth! Don't hurt him!"
Dad's frustration grew as he pulled more worms from the can. First Winthrop, the shy worm. Then Slimey, the friendly worm. And Marvin the show-off. Finally, Dad pulled out Maxwell, Sammy, O'Reilly, Buster and Doug. Dad groaned as I pleaded for him to not hurt my friends.
"Don't tell me you named all of the worms in this can."

With a sheepish nod, our fishing trip was suddenly over. The next day, Dad drove into town and picked up a bucket of crawfish. When he brought them back to the cottage, I opened the lid and peeked in. I heard a despairing yelp emerge from his throat - I turned around to see him running frantically toward me, with his arms flailing and a look of terror on his face.
"No! You have to quit making friends with the bait!"

3/11/2004

2004-11-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

rabu.. ngantuk nyer pasal, lagi skali aku gi tido lam keter member kat parking. bos tak datang lagi, leh laa wat psl gitu. nak tido lam opis nie, mau nyer aku segan. heheh.. tgh syok tido, tetiba adik aku yg kat kg call, saje nak citer kat kg skrg nie ada awar kucen. dah mati sekor kucen kat umah maksu. aku ingatkan per laa tadi. tapi mujur gak dia call, kalo tak terlajak tido laa aku. dah ler sensorang kat parking. tgk jam, dah jam 9.05am. setengah jam aku tido. ish..ish..

tengahari gi pejabat pos besar beli setem. ingat nak beli setem yg bermacam2 corak tu, skali penjaga kat situ gi rehat laa pulak, dah gitu dakpe arh.. pas beli setem, singgah UO. ingat nak beli ketam, takde lak. aku pun sms adik suh dia belikan kat umah. hopefully ada ler psl semalam aku pegi kedai kat bwh tu, dorang dah kemas2 dah. bawang yg aku potong nak masak ketam semalam dah ada lam peti. then, adik leh beli 4 ekor ketam. leh wat masak merah. emm.. dapnye.balik keje, terus masak ketam. tgk lam peti es, takde lak sayur. berbuka makan nasik lauk ketam je laa nampaknyee.. tapi kenyang wooo..

"Love received and love given comprise the best form of therapy."

poster utk ari nie..

Golden Slippers ~ By Charlotte Lanham
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

After the funeral, the family made its way from the cemetery back to the house. Ladies from the church had arrived early, uncovering casseroles and platters of sandwiches and desserts. Nobody talked much. Poppa mumbled that he didn't know how he was going to get along without Mama around anymore. We all agreed it was going to be hard. After lunch, we just sat there, all out of tears . . . not really knowing what to do without Mama there to organize everybody. I forget who it was that broke the silence.

"Well, we need to make some decisions soon about dividing up Mama's things."
There were furs and furniture, photos and antiques, crystal, handmade quilts, hats and shoes, rockers and jewelry. It all needed to be divided between the four children and their families.
Suddenly, from the adjoining room, my thirteen-year-old daughter came running. Her ears had perked up when she overheard the conversation about dividing a household of her grandmother's belongings.

"I know what I want," she said boldly. "I want Grandmommy's dancing slippers!" "Dancing slippers?" I asked in surprise. "But Grandmommy doesn't have any dancing slippers."
"Oh, yes she does. I'll go get them and show you." I followed closely as she hurried down the hallway - straight into Grandmommy's bedroom. Not the pink bedroom where she slept every night, but the rarely used guest room at the far end of the house.

It was a stately room, featuring a four-poster bed and an antique washstand draped with linens. In the corner was a vase full of peacock feathers from Uncle Henry's farm. Granddaddy's Bible lay open on the marble dresser, his reading glasses folded and resting somewhere in the Book of John. And sure enough, beside the bed, on a hand-made wooden shoebox, sat a pair of golden slippers with pixie pointed toes. My daughter picked them up and held them out for me to observe.

"Honey, why do you call these Grandmommy's dancing slippers?" I asked. "Grandmommy didn't dance." A look of disbelief swept across her face. "Oh, yes she did! Grandmommy always danced in these shoes!" As quickly as she spoke the words, I remembered. My mother had, indeed, danced many times. I had forgotten about the earlier years when we visited. She took my two children back into her special guest bedroom and closed the door. And there, before her private audience, she would put on her golden slippers and dance the Charleston.

Often I would sneak a little peek. My children would sit on the floor, wide-eyed and watching, as my mother crossed her hands over her knees, twirled her invisible string of pearls and danced so fast she would fling her golden slippers aimlessly into the air. Laughing as they watched her dance the jitterbug, the children cried, "Do it again. Dance again!" So out of breath she could hardly speak, she would find the golden slippers, slide them onto her feet and start the performance over.

Twenty-five years after Grandmommy's death, my daughter got married. She arrived at the chapel wearing a shoulder-length veil and a white satin dress accented in butter-cream lace and pearls. A boys' choir marched before her in the processional and as the organist played the first notes of "Trumpet Voluntary," she took hold of her father's arm and began her long walk down the aisle. Snug on her feet, sliding across the stone floor, was a pair of aged, worn-out golden slippers with pixie pointed toes. And in the air was the feeling that somewhere up there, part of a private audience, was Grandmommy, wide-eyed and watching, smiling . . . and dancing the Charleston.

2/11/2004

2004-11-02T20:59:00.000+08:00

selasa.. ngantuknyer mata nie. tetiap ari laa gi keje mata cam nak terkatup2. tensen pun ada psl nak kena kontrol dpn org kat sini. aiseh..

tengahari, singgah UO kejap beli barang2 nak wat kuih - cokelat masakan, buttercup, cornflakes (nak cukupkan koleksi buku resepi :D ). ingat petang karang nak masak gulai nenas ikan masin. duk tgk2 gak nenas kat situ, tapi takde. yg ada pun, jenis yg kecik2 dan manis2. tak jadik then call adik kat umah suh dia beli nenas kat kedai bawah tu. on d way balik opis, ujan laa pulak. skrg nie asek ujan ditengahari, cam pepatah melayu tu pulak aku rasa..hehe! dah reda skit baru redah.

petang, balik umah ingat nak masak laa gulai nenas tu tapi adik bgtau nenas takde. last2 aku panaskan ikan bakar yg beli 2 eko semalam. cicah ngan kuah asam. dapnyer!

"The only way to discover the limits of the impossible is to go beyond them into the impossible"

poster utk ari nie..

Renungan..

"Au zubillahi minash syaitanirrajim. Bismillahirrahman nirrahim"
Tafsirannya:
Aku berlindung dengan Allah daripada syaitan yang direjam, dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani.

Bacalah ayat ini sebelum anda memulakan apa-apa saja kerja kerana dengan bacaan ini akan keluarlah iblis dan syaitan yang berada didalam tubuh kita dan juga di sekeliling kita, mereka akan berlari keluar umpama cacing kepanasan. Sebelum anda masuk rumah, bacalah ayat di atas, kemudian bacalah surah Al-Ikhlas (iaitu ayat: Qulhuwallahu ahad. Allahussamad. Lam yalid walam yu-lad. walam yakul lahu kufuwan ahad.) sebanyak 3 kali. Masuklah rumah dengan kaki kanan dan dengan membaca bismillah. Berilah salam kepada anggota rumah dan sekiranya tiada orang di rumah berilah salam kerana malaikat rumah akan menyahut.

Amalkanlah bersolat kerana salam pertama (ianya wajib) yang diucapkan pada akhir solat akan membantu kita menjawab persoalan kubur. Apabila malaikat memberi salam, seorang yang jarang bersolat akan sukar menjawab salam tersebut. Tetapi bagi mereka yang kerap bersolat, amalan daripada salam yang diucap di akhir solat akan menolongnya menjawab salam malaikat itu.
Sabda Rasulullah S.A.W yang bermaksud:
Barangsiapa membaca surah Al-Ikhlas sewaktu sakit sehingga dia meninggal dunia, maka dia tidak akan membusuk di dalam kuburnya, akan selamat dia dari kesempitan kuburnya dan para malaikat akan membawanya dengan sayap mereka melintasi titian siratul mustaqim lalu menuju ke syurga. (Demikian diterangkan dalam Tadzikaratul Qurthuby).

Rasulullah SAW pernah bertanya sebuah teka-teki kepada umatnya :
Siapakah antara kamu yang dapat khatam Qur'an dalam jangka masa dua-tiga minit?
Tiada seorang dari sahabatnya yang menjawab. Malah Saiyidina Ummar telah mengatakan bahawa ianya mustahil untuk mengatam Qur'an dalam begitu cepat.

Kemudiannya Saiyyidina Ali mengangkat tangannya. Saiyidina Umar bersuara kepada Saiyidina Ali bahawa Saiyidina Ali (yang sedang kecil pada waktu itu) tidak tahu apa yang dikatakannya itu. Lantas Saiyidina Ali membaca surah Al-Ikhlas tiga kali.

Rasulullah SAW menjawab dengan mengatakan bahawa Saiyidina Ali betul. Membaca surah Al-Ikhlas sekali ganjarannya sama dengan membaca 10 jus kitab Al-Quran. Lalu dengan membaca surah Al-Ikhlas sebanyak tiga kali qatamlah Quran kerana ianya sama dengan membaca 30 jus Al-Quran.

Berkata Ibnu Abbas r.a. bahawa Rasulullah SAW telah bersabda: Ketika saya (Rasulullah SAW) israk ke langit, maka saya telah melihat Arasy di atas 360,000 sendi dan jarak jauh antara satu sendi ke satu sendi ialah 300,000 tahun perjalanan. Pada tiap-tiap sendi itu terdapat padang sahara sebanyak 12,000 dan luasnya setiap satu padang sahara itu seluas dari timur hingga ke barat. Pada setiap padang sahara itu terdapat 80,000 malaikat yang mana kesemuanya membaca surah Al-Ikhlas. Setelah mereka selesai membaca surah tersebut maka berkata mereka: Wahai Tuhan kami, sesungguhnya pahala dari bacaan kami ini kami berikan kepada orang yang membaca surah Al-Ikhlas baik ianya lelaki mahupun perempuan.

Sabda Rasulullah SAW lagi:
Demi Allah yang jiwaku di tanganNya, sesungguhnya Qul Huwallahu Ahadu itu tertulis di sayap malaikat Jibrail a.s, Allahhus Somad itu tertulis di sayap malaikat Mikail a.s, Lamyalid walam yuulad tertulis pada sayap malaikat Izrail a.s, Walam yakullahu kufuwan ahadu tertulis pada sayap malaikat Israfil a.s.

Nota:
Jika sekiranya kawan-kawan ingin mengumpul saham akhirat, sampaikanlah ilmu ini kepada kawan2 yang lain.
Sepertimana sabda Rasulullah SAW 'Sampaikanlah pesananku walaupun satu ayat'. Sesungguhnya apabila matinya seseorang anak Adam itu, hanya 3 perkara yang akan di bawanya bersama :
1) Sedekah/amal jariahnya
2) Doa anak-anaknya yang soleh
3) Ilmu yang bermanfaat yang disampaikannya kepada orang lain.

1/11/2004

2004-11-01T20:56:00.000+08:00

isnin.. Nuzul Al-Quran - kat negeri lain cuti, kl tak pulak. cesss... kalo cuti beh sket bangun tido lambat. nak tak nak, kena gak keje. maless bener gue dateng opis.. mesti aku ngantuk. haa.. cenggini laa jadik nye. tengahari, lepak tempat member. layan lagu laa, main games laa.

petang, mintak hapdei .. ingat nak lepak umah tapi bila member mensyen psl nasik briani kat sekampung, terus aku tingat restoren syed kat seksyen 9, shah alam. balik umah, pe lagi, bgtau je member, terus shot gi sana. yeahaaa... tapi yg tak behnyer, ujan lebat giler. tak jangka lak selebat nie ujan. member drive ngan ati2 psl jalan licin. air lak melimpah2 kat jalan. mujur laa batu 3 tak banjir. tak plan pun nak potong rambut, tapi dah alang2 nak ke sana, singgah kat kompleks pkns. potong rambut kat kedai noori, buat rambut bese kena 18hengget. puah ati laa psl takde ler pendek cam salu aku buat. pahtu gi jalan2 lam tu, ramai sungguh org duk soping. dorang2 nie mmg amik kesempatan tul laa ngan cuti yg ada.. tgk jam dah dkt 6pm. nak ke parking, ada lak pasar ramadan. mcm2 jenis kuih dan aku yg pantang nampak mknan pun rambang mata.. beli rojak mamak (mmg aku salu makan taim poser kat kg), laksam (utk adik aku), dua eko ikan bakar - cencaru + kembong.. ingat nak beli banyak lagi, tapi cam melampau laa pulak.

on d way to syed, nampak lak pasar ramadan len kat area blakang concorde hotel. brenti lagi, beli jeli custard ngan yong tau fu. hush.. giler banyak bahan2 makan. berbuka kat restoran syed - nasik briani bukhara. aku ingatkan stendek lam pinggan cam bese je, skali pelayan tu hantor, mak aihhhh! cam dua org mkn je satu pinggan tu. ngan ayam yg beso nyer, berpikir2 abih ke dak aku mkn nie.. sayang, mmg sedap nasik tu tapi pedas. kalo pedas cili aku leh tahan lagi rasanye, nie pedas rempah.. husshh.. berasap mulut aku. lepas berbuka, gi jejalan kat giant 13. balik umah lembik je rasa..

"The block of granite which was an obstacle on the path of the weak, becomes a stepping stone in the path of the strong."

poster utk ari nie..

The Miracle of Dr. Steiner ~ By Joy Millman
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

On the night of November 1, 1957 - the day after Halloween - Davey Steiner took his little sister, Susie, trick-or-treating. His sister had been ill the night before, Davey explained to each neighbor, so he wondered, on his sister's behalf, whether they had any treats left.

In addition to his kindness, Davey showed unusual intelligence - enough to earn straight As, participate in medical research while still in high school, score a perfect 1600 on his SAT exams and gain admission to Yale University - the first person in his working-class family to attend college. David decided to become a physician. For him, the study and practice of medicine provided a way to use his body and soul in the service of others. While at Yale, David met and fell in love with Cindy, whose interest in law matched David's passion for healing. David was admitted to Yale's Medical School and Cindy would later begin her studies at the School of Law. After a storybook courtship, they became engaged on Valentine's Day.

Five days later, after David and Cindy returned home from a visit with his family, David called to let his parents know they had arrived home safely - then they went for a walk to get some fast food. As they set out, nineteen-year-old Brian Doley slammed the door of his girlfriend's house after a terrible argument. He was angry, drunk and soon behind the wheel of his car.

David doesn't remember what happened that night, but others have pieced it together: He and Cindy were in a crosswalk when Doley, in a drunken stupor, appeared from nowhere, his car careening towards them. David's instinctive action was to push her as hard as he could out of the path of the car. She suffered a fractured leg as the right bumper hit her, then the car crashed squarely into David's pelvis, sending him flying through the air. His limp and broken body landed sixty feet away, and his head smashed into the curb.

At the hospital, doctors would not answer Cindy's pleas for news of David's condition - they had nothing to tell her yet. What could they tell an already-traumatized young fiancée? That David hovered between life and death? That they had seen many others with less severe injuries die? That if he lived, he might have no brain function?

A doctor called David's parents to tell them their son might not survive the night.
When they arrived, ashen and exhausted by fear and grief, they learned only what the doctors could surmise: that David had multiple fractures, including his pelvis and thighbone, with other internal trauma. But worst of all, he had a serious skull fracture and likely brain injury. As soon as he was stabilized, he would go into surgery to relieve cranial pressure. He wasn't expected to live, but if he did . . . his parents remember one physician's words: "I can't guarantee how smart he'll be."

Such trauma sends ripples into the larger world. Events are set in motion that also change the lives of other families and individuals. Susie was pulled out of class and told that her brother had been seriously injured; she caught the next plane to New Haven. David's father took a leave from work; even after he returned to work, he drove back to New Haven every weekend for the months that followed. Laura, David's younger sister, had arrived with her parents on that first frantic night, leaving behind her school, seventh-grade friends and life. She would stay to attend a new school in New Haven. David's mother and little sister moved in with good-hearted friends and relatives who lived near the hospital. His mother arrived every morning and didn't leave until visiting hours were over. Laura joined her mother after school. Once Cindy left the hospital on crutches, she continued her schooling, but visited regularly.

David's brain, once so brilliant, withdrew into a deep coma. There he remained for nearly four weeks while his mother and sister stood vigil, speaking and reading to him, comforting, encouraging and praying for him. When David finally emerged from the coma, he was in almost constant pain. Because of the brain injury, however, his doctors could not give sedatives or painkillers. His mother remembers how her son's semi-conscious body would rock back and forth, back and forth, groaning in a litany of suffering. He tried many times to pull the tubes and wires out of his body, perhaps to die - anything to end the agony.

Maybe it's a blessing that the body exists only in the present and does not retain the memory of pain. Gradually, the physical suffering subsided, but David awoke with amnesia. He had no memory of who he was or who anyone else was. He did not remember his family and other loved ones, his friends and acquaintances, or his past. He knew no one; the people who spoke to him, held his hand and loved him were strangers. David also suffered from aphasia: He could talk, but the words he spoke (or heard) were mixed up and had to be deciphered. His first words made no sense until a doctor recognized them as the poetry of T. S. Eliot - words David didn't know he was even speaking, sounds boiling off from a misfiring brain.
Soon after, when Laura entered his room, David said, "Hi Laura!"

"You know me?" she asked
"Of course I do," David answered. But when his mother and a doctor joined Laura, David no longer recognized any of them. And when Susie visited during spring break, one of the nurses told her, "Your brother wants to speak with you." When Susie rushed into David's room he said, "Who are you? Where's Susie?" David's memory was returning, but only from childhood. Later, he remembered his first girlfriend, but Cindy remained a stranger to him.

Over time, David regained his childhood memories in threads and fragments. He was transferred to another hospital for rehabilitation, and there he trained as hard as any athlete, reclaiming his ability to walk and to move with agonizing slowness, slowly remembering his life and loved ones. When he finally recognized Cindy, his dear Cindy, it marked a turning point in his recovery and in hers. In another bed in David's room lay a second patient with brain injuries strikingly similar to David's. Patient X was the brother of a well-known figure dedicated to his political rise. He visited only once. So it was that David, surrounded and supported by the presence of a loving family, made the long journey back, while his roommate, lying alone, passed into the mystery beyond this life.

David's story demonstrates not only his determination, but also speaks to the power of his family's love, dedication and sacrifice. Today, David and Cindy have celebrated many anniversaries together and raised bright and active children. Cindy finished law school and has assumed a position of high rank and responsibility in our nation's legal system. And David? Well, this is the miracle of Dr. Steiner: He not only recovered his memory, and learned once again to walk and read and speak, he returned to Yale Medical School, completed his studies and went on to specialize in the field of psychiatry. He still practices today, a man of compassion, empathy and wisdom far beyond his years - for he has known the dark places of the psyche; he has been to hell and back.

David's long road back to a life of service was a journey no less heroic than that of any Olympian athlete. His devoted family share in their son's miracle: His life and work, made possible by their faith and Cindy's love, continue to make a difference in this world.

31/10/2004

2004-10-31T20:54:00.000+08:00

ahad.. pagi tadi sahur makan roti je. takde selera nak makan menda lain. itu pun tak tido semalamam psl duk asek layan sims. lepas tgk one tree hill ngan queer eye, ingat nak lelap. dah stat main sims, tak sedor masa berlalu.. sedor2 je bunyi alarm enpom..

bangun tido dah jam 11++am. ingat nak gi cari cd kat bwh, tapi dah lewat gini, kensel je le. terus gi basuh baju sebakul sambil layan tv, tgk melodi .. duk guling2 dpn tv, bosan takde citer beh..

petang tak tau nak berbuka kat ner. ajak member berbuka kat kl sentral, teringin kfc kata dia. lam jam 5pm, siap2. singgah kat gerai jual buku terpakai, member beli 3 buku ngan harga lapanhengget.. duk usha2 poster celcom kat kaunter terbuka celcom kat seblah gerai buku tu. skali mamat yg duk promot tu tetiba je ada depan aku pahtu ckp tak brenti. aku pk2 ok gak amik bil psl asek laa guna tepon member. dapat laaa register ikut besdei aku, yeayy.. :D . insyaAllah, activate ari selasa/rabu nie.. takyah bayar pe2 lak tu, beh..behh...

jam 6.40pm gi tgk kat kfc, giler penoh. kalo nak nyelit2 pun payah. gi beli air kat 7eleven, sekotak air soya ngan air mineral dulu. buka ngan air dulu seblom makan pe2. lam 7.20pm, still penoh lagi. malas tunggu, beli je laa n tumpang mana2 meja yg agak2 leh duduk. beli ramadan set 2 ngan salad sekotak. kenyang giler walopon 2 ketui je. pas mkn, singgah kedai buku lain lak, beli majalah ngan kad raya. balik umah jam 9pm. sahur awal, jam 1am. makan cornflakes ngan susu ..

"Listening is as important as talking, hugs are even better than chocolate"

poster utk ari nie..

A Halloween No One Will Forget ~ By Heather Hutson, age nine
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

When I was seven, my friend Sarah and I went to a horse show to compete in a barrel-racing event. That's where we both met Caleb. Caleb's mom is a barrel racer and horse trainer, and Caleb was helping his mom at the show by loading and unloading her equipment for her. Even though he was older than us, Sarah and I both thought Caleb was really nice and a lot of fun to be around. Everyone liked him. We got to be good friends with him and we would hang out together whenever we would see him.

The year after we met Caleb, I had a Halloween party at my house. The morning after my party, my mom and dad were listening to the news and heard that a boy had accidentally hanged himself the night before. I didn't think too much about it until I heard who it was. It was Caleb. One of the horse farms in our area had a Halloween haunted hayride and Caleb had gotten a job working there with about fourteen other kids who were supposed to scare the people who went on the hayride.

For instance, a guy would open and close the lid of a coffin and this girl would jump out at the people. Caleb's job was to jump out of the woods as the hayride passed him. I guess that just jumping out of the woods and saying, "Boo!" wasn't enough for Caleb. He always loved to get a rise out of people. Right next to Caleb there was a skeleton hanging from a tree. Just before the wagon got to him, Caleb took the rope from around the skeleton's neck and put it around his own neck because he thought that would scare people more than the skeleton did. What he didn't realize was that, even though his feet were touching the ground, he didn't weigh enough to keep the branch that the rope was tied to, from whipping back up, making the rope tight enough to choke him.

When he started choking, the other kids thought he was just goofing around like he always did, trying to put on a big act. Caleb couldn't get the rope off by himself from around his neck because he had double-knotted it. By the time everyone realized that he wasn't kidding around, it was too late. Even though they tried to save him with CPR, Caleb died. He was only fourteen.

When I heard this I couldn't believe it. Caleb had his whole life ahead of him. Our whole town was shocked and everyone was so sad. It took everyone several months to just get over it. Sarah and I would talk about all of the good times we had and we comforted each other. But even now, I don't feel like I'm completely over it.
I think about Caleb and how everything would be different if only he hadn't put that noose around his neck. I guess he didn't think it was dangerous, but now we all know that it was. I realize now that you really have to think about the things that you do, before you do them. Even though you may think nothing can ever happen to you, you can prevent accidents before they happen simply by realizing there can be dangerous consequences from your actions. I hope that everyone who reads Caleb's story will think before they act and think twice before they ever put anything around their necks.

30/10/2004

2004-10-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

sabtu .. tak keje. pagi tadi sahur mkn cornflakes ngan susu. bangun tido awal psl nak kena temankan member gi servis keter dia. dah lebih 100km drpd yg sepatutnye. gi sana, jalan ok cuma perangai pemandu kat jalanraya nie yg tak beh. masing2 nak cepat mcm laa dorang je ada urusan. ceh!! sampai kat workshop, antar keter terus gi alpha angle, wangsa maju. saje jalan2 sementara tunggu keter siap serbis. giler tul sales kat jusco, lak tu ada satu lagi side jusco baru bukak. murah2 set comforter, mujur takde duwit banyak , kalo tak mesti dah hangkut satu..ehheeh.. :D

duk ralik2 lam jusco, tgk jam dah 3lebih. gi workshop nak amik keter. mamat pomen tu kata, keter tu kena tukar timing ngan clutch kena cek. kalo nak tukar pun, lam seribu lebih dua2 tu. sian kat member aku, mana dia nak cekau duwit. ish.. dah tanye itu ini, serbis kena 230hengget. tekejut member aku psl tak penah kena banyak tu. ghupe2 nyer banyak yg kena tukar,oil filter la, spuck plug laa.. ish..

balik umah terus. tak jadik singgah pasar ramadan. dekat2 berbuka, ingat nak tapau tapi cam malas nak naik umah dulu. terus singgah gerai kat bwh, berbuka terus kat situ. nasik putih, telur bungkus, tomyam campo ngan kailan ikan masin = soploh hengget..

"Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is."

poster utk ari nie..

A Son's Harvest ~ By Lee May
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

On this scorching, Mississippi-dusty June day in 1989, I had come to my father's home in Meridian to find - I didn't know exactly what. Nervously I walked up the ribbon of concrete toward the little red porch, wondering if this visit was a good idea. But I figured that, after thirty-nine years without any contact, we ought to try to find out whether there was anything between us, anything at all. After all, time was growing short; he was eighty years old, and I was forty-eight.

So, I steeled myself, recalling my childhood years at this house where I had lived before my father and mother divorced, and Mom and I moved to Illinois with her new husband. My stepfather had been as good a father as a son could want. But this man standing on the porch was my birth father. I wanted to know him.

I looked at Ples Mae (he spelled his last name differently from mine), marveling at how thin, how fragile, he had become. His newish overalls floated around him, seemingly holding him up, but his handshake and voice were strong as he motioned for me to join him on the porch while his wife cooked a country feast. There we sat, in two green metal chairs, the kind that spring back and forth. We sprang - and talked about what strangers talk about when they're trying to get to know one another.

"Been a hot one today," I said, wiping my forehead. "Hasn't been much rain."
"Yeah, I been having to water every day," replied my father.
"I've had to water every day, too, up in Washington, D.C.," I said.
Turning to look at me, my father said: "Water? Water what?"
"My garden." We had both stopped springing.
"You mean you're a gardener, too?"

Neither of us had to say it; we both knew it: We were not only kin - we were kindred spirits. My father and I went to his garden during that first visit. And on each subsequent visit, we took the same walk. During early times, we talked mostly about the joys and heartbreaks of life in the garden, ranging further afield as we got to know each other better, covering everything from politics to relationships to history.

On one of my early visits, I was admiring his amazing crops: all manner of mouth-watering backyard crops, including peas, okra, cayenne peppers, corn, collards, butter beans, even peanuts and watermelons, their vines twirling from used automobile tires. Seeing my admiration and showing understandable pride, my father stopped his slow stroll through the deep, narrow space, turned to me and asked, "So what are you growing in your garden?"

I began telling him about my rhododendron, Japanese black pines, azaleas, Japanese maples, bamboo . . . when my father interrupted: "Uh huh, but what do you grow for food?" "Oh, food. Well, there's rosemary, thyme, sage, cilantro . . ." With a dismissive chuckle, my father just shook his head and walked away, reaching for a hoe to weed around the corn, a real crop. I knew what he was thinking: My son's wasting land.

To this day, the memory of that moment brings a chuckle. But, what happened next brought a tear. My father went to his toolshed and came back with a raisin container from the grocery store. Shaking it, he thrust it at me, saying, "Here! Now you can grow some food." The little cardboard box held seeds, of course - pepper, okra, tomato, eggplant, even kernels of corn and some peanuts. Never mind that any of these crops would overwhelm my postage-stamp-size garden. I brought the container back to the city, and I planted some of the seeds, calling the spot where the pepper and the okra grew the "Ples Mae Patch."

And that tradition continues. Each year, among the rhododendron, the Japanese black pines and all the other ornamentals, there is always a little something to eat. (Tomatoes, if nothing else, because store-bought ones just aren't fit food.) And each year a fundamental truth also grows: No matter how differently we garden, we all share a connection to the earth - and thus, a connection to one another. That's one of the many reasons nothing keeps me out of my garden. And I'm grateful that nothing - not pride or fear of rejection, not even thirty-nine years of separation - kept me out of my father's garden on that hot June day. The harvest has been priceless.

29/10/2004

2004-10-29T20:46:00.000+08:00

jumaat.. pagi tak tak terbangun sahur laa pulak. aiseh, kering tekak lak pagi2 .. datang opis, perut still menten. mata pun kurang ngantuk, aku agak psl ari nie ari jumaat kot..

tengahari gi jalan2 area central market ngan kotaraya. cari cd macromedia flash ngan mp3. sampai opis, terai laa install macromedia tu, tapi no.siri lak takde.. hayyyakk!! last hope, aku godey2 carik kat help, haa ada pun serial number. almaklumlaa, pirate punyer cd. sepetang duk layan buat flash, tah hape2 tah jadiknye..

balik keje, singgah pasar ramadan beli nasik dagang. berbuka ngan tu cukup laa..lepas berbuka, pegi mikveli ngan member n adik. ingat nak soping baju raya ayah, abang, ayahki ngan lya. duk carik parking kan main lama. singgah kat kedai jam psl ingat nak tukar tali jam, tapi kena order laaa pulak. males aku.. adik beli jam elle ngan member pun beli jam baru gak. masing2 tahun nie beraya ngan jam baru laa.. pahtu gi jusco, adik blanje suar jeans lee cooper as present for my belated besdei. hehe.. ada suar baru! :D .. pahtu belikan member t-shirt edwin selai, tgk dia suka design n kaler tu. soping baju raya utk lya baju gaun kaler light green akan2 kunin, baju crocodile utk ayah n abang, baju snail utk ayahki. selamat laa aku abih dekat 200hengget.. ayyakk... balik umah, penat tul kaki!

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

poster utk ari nie..

Ziarah Kubur Menurut Islam

Hukum Menziarahi Kubur

PADA zaman permulaan Islam berkembang, Nabi Muhammad saw melarang kaum Muslimin menziarahi perkuburan. Larangan ini disebabkan kekhuatiran terhadap timbulnya kepercayaan lama mereka kepada berhala atau sebarang lambang keberhalaan. Tetapi kemudiannya, Nabi saw membenarkan pula mereka menziarahinya. Ini kerana iman dan keyakinan mereka terhadap Islam telah mantap. Nabi saw pernah bersabda yang bermaksud: "Dahulu saya pernah melarang kamu menziarahi kubur tetapi sekarang boleh kamu menziarahinya, kerana menziarahi kubur itu boleh menimbulkan sifat zuhud terhadap dunia dan ingat kepada akhirat." Kebanyakan ulama' mengambil kesimpulan daripada hadis ini bahawa hukum menziarahi kubur adalah sunat bagi kaum lelaki dan makruh bagi kaum perempuan.
Hukum sunat bagi kaum lelaki sudah jelas, iaitu mengingatkannya tentang akhirat. Tetapi hukum makruh bagi kaum perempuan pula besar kemungkinan kerana biasanya kaum perempuan lemah semangat dan terlalu beremosi. Mereka akan merasa terlalu sedih mengingatkan orang yang mereka kasihi telah meninggal, lebih-lebih lagi kalau pemergiannya secara mengejut atau terlibat dalam kemalangan dan sebagainya, maka dikhuatiri perasaan sedih mereka akan membawa kepada penyesalan terhadap takdir Allah swt.

Hukum Memberi Takziah

Oleh kerana 'kematian' itu satu kepastian yang tidak dapat dielakkan oleh setiap insan, setiap insan pasti mati, hanya sebabnya sahaja yang berlainan. Manusia harus menerima hakikat ini. Oleh sebab itu, hukum memberi takziah kepada keluarga yang ditimpa musibah maut ini dihadkan hanya tiga hari sahaja. Lebih dari itu, tidak disunatkan lagi kita memberi takziah kerana ia hanya akan menimbulkan kesedihan sahaja.

Hukum Membuat Dapur-Dapur Kubur

Sebelum diperkatakan cara menziarahi kubur yang dibenarkan oleh Islam perlu juga diketahui hukum membuat dapur-dapur kubur itu. Menurut yang afdal dalam Islam, kubur seseorang Muslim/Muslimah itu hendaklah ditinggikan sejengkal dari dataran bumi dan diratakan bahagian atasnya dan ditandakan dengan sesuatu tanda untuk dikenali supaya mudah diziarahi. Ini pernah ditegaskan oleh Nabi Muhammad saw apabila Baginda ditanya mengapa Baginda meletakkan tanda di kubur saudara susuannya Othman Bin Maz'un. Baginda menjawab yang bermaksud: "supaya saya kenal kubur saudara saya." Dari sinilah timbulnya kebiasaan meletakkan nisan. Tetapi apa yang dilarang dalam Islam ialah terlalu sangat menghias kubur dengan dapur-dapur daripada batu mozek, marmar dan sebagainya kerana ini merupakan suatu pembaziran. Adalah lebih baik jika lebihan wang yang hendak digunakan untuk tujuan ini disedekahkan kepada fakir miskin atau melakukan amal jariah yang lainnya. Kalau mayat itu ditanam di perkuburan wakaf adalah haram mengambil kawasan yang tidak perlu bagi satu-satu kubur kerana ini boleh mengurangkan kawasan untuk ditanam mayat yang lain. Jadi untuk mengenal kubur ibu-bapa, suami/isteri dan kaum kerabat kita cukuplah mengawal tanah kubur jangan sampai terpersok atau hilang atau susah dikenali, iaitu sekadar membuatnya secara mudah dan tidak banyak menghabiskan perbelanjaan. Walau bagaimanapun kubur yang tidak dapat dikesan lagi dan tidak dapat diziarahi akan mendapat rahmat yang lebih daripada Allah swt. Sebagaimana yang pernah diriwayatkan daripada Nabi Muhammad saw yang bermaksud 'Allah merahmati kubur yang tidak dikenali.' Sehubungan dengan ini menulis ayat-ayat suci di batu-batu kubur, bukanlah satu suruhan Islam. Malah, ianya terlarang kerana tulisan-tulisan akan terdedah kepada pencemaran, kerana biasanya tulisan-tulisan ayat di paras kaki orang yang berdiri di pinggir kubur itu dan kemungkinan ada pula orang duduk di pinggir batu itu, perkara ini adalah dilarang.

Tujuan Menziarahi Kubur

Seseorang yang ingin menziarahi kubur hendaklah berniat yang benar dan ikhlas kerana Allah swt semata-mata iaitu untuk melembutkan hati, mengingatkan akhirat dan mengenang jasa si mati atau kelebihannya di sisi Allah. Begitu pula apabila menziarahi kubur atau makam para nabi dan para wali, lebih-lebih lagi makam Nabi Muhammad saw yang begitu besar jasanya bukan sahaja kepada umat Islam malah kepada alam semesta kerana Allah swt sendiri telah menerangkan dengan firmanNya yang bermaksud: 'tidak Kami utusmu melainkan untuk menjadi rahmat bagi sekalian alam'.
Maka dengan niat yang baik inilah kita menziarahi perkuburan kaum Muslimin dan permakaman para awlia, anbia dan mursalin.
Apa yang dilarang dalam menziarahi perkuburan ini ialah meminta sesuatu hajat kepada yang mati itu atau memujanya seperti pemujaan terhadap berhala. Tetapi dengan bertawassul dengan mereka yang salih itu dan meminta kepada Allah rabbul a'lamin tidaklah terlarang menurut fahaman ahlissunnah wa jamaah.

Adab Menziarahi Kubur

Apabila kita masuk ke suatu tanah perkuburan Islam, hendaklah kita mengucapkan salam dengan berkata: "Assalamualaikum dara qaumin mukminin, antumussabiqun wa nahnulahiqun yaghfirullahu lanaa wa lakum." (Sejahtera atas kamu penghuni tempat kaum Mukminin. Kamu telah mendahului dan kami akan menyusul kamu. Semoga Allah mengampuni kami dan kamu.) Kemudian tujuilah kubur yang hendak diziarahi itu dan berdiri atau duduk di hadapannya dengan mengadap kepadanya (membelakang kiblat) serta memberi salam kepadanya. Walaupun mayatnya sudah lama dan sudah hancur tetapi yang penting rohnya ada dan tahu siapa yang menziarahinya. Ini diambil dari sabda Nabi Muhammad saw yang bermaksud: "Sesiapa yang memberi salam kepadaku Allah akan mengembalikan rohku dan akan menjawab salamnya". Kalau ini diberikan kepada Nabi Muhammad saw maka tidak mustahil diberikan kepada umat Ð oleh sebab itu disunatkan kita menziarahi kubur. Kemudian, bacakanlah ayat-ayat al Quran yang mudah dibaca dan minta kepada Allah disampaikan pahala bacaan itu kepada roh si mati. Kita juga diingatkan supaya jangan menyesali apa yang telah berlaku, apa lagi untuk meraung dan meratap, kerana ini adalah haram hukumnya.

Ziarah Kubur Pada Hari Raya

Tidak ada sebarang dalil yang terang tentang menziarahi kubur pada pagi Hari Raya. Ini hanya merupakan amalan kebiasaan orang-orang Islam kita di sini. Mungkin mereka berpendapat bahawa kerana pada hari raya kita menziarahi kaum kerabat dan sahabat handai kita yang hidup maka eloklah kita menziarahi juga yang sudah meninggal dunia.
Ziarah pada waktu khusus seperti yang berlaku pada Hari Raya boleh menyebabkan dosa kalau kita menganggapnya sebagai satu suruhan agama padahal tidak ada sebarang suruhan menziarahi kubur pada hari yang tertentu. Lebih-lebih lagi kalau penziarahan itu merupakan sebagai satu temasya dengan sebab yang berkunjung memakai pakaian yang berwarna-warni serta membawa bunga untuk diletakkan di atas kubur, penjualan minuman dan sebagainya, inilah yang dilarang oleh Nabi Muhammad saw berdasarkan sabdanya yang bermaksud: "Jangan kamu jadikan kuburku sebagai tempat berhari raya". Begitulah juga larangan ini mencakup kubur sesiapa pun. Dengan ini jelas menziarahi kubur pada Hari Raya secara khusus itu tidak ada sandarannya dalam Islam.

28/10/2004

2004-10-28T20:59:00.000+08:00

khamis.. mengantuk nyer mata nie.. tapi still menten lagi, takde ler sampai tersengguk dpn pc. emm.. sampai opis pun ngam2 je.. cam bese, layan forum. ingat nak updet blog, takde mood laa pulak. asek pk nak perabih duwit je nie.. heheh :P

bos aku nie pun satu, dari ari tu lagi aku suh dia isi form yg aku dah kasik dia 2 minggu lepas, kan dah lambat. bila dah lambat, sapa glabah? aku jugakkk...tengahari lepak tempat member. ingat nak tido, tapi bila dah jupe games, tak lak ngantuk. last2 member yg nak tido, tak jadik tido. sesambil download lagu2 raya utk dia..

berbuka ari nie beli kat pasar ramadan. at last, dpt gak beli ikan terubuk bakar.. ngan daging bakar garam kunyit gak. ish.. rasa cam dah hari raya bila dpt makan daging bakar gitu.

"Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind."

poster utk ari nie..

Mother-and-Son Moment ~ By Tinisha Nicole Johnson
*Chicken Soup for The Soul

I can remember the look that he had on his face. So young, cute, innocent and a creation from me with God's help, of course - a true miracle indeed. A blessing that is worth more than anything. I'm talking about my son. I'm talking about raising this little guy as a single mother into a responsible black man.

One day my son caught me by surprise when he came to me and asked me a question. It was a Saturday morning, and I was busy typing away on my computer as I always do. I could hear the Saturday morning cartoons on in his room, which was right across from my bedroom. And here this little guy comes. Face still needs to be washed, eyes big and alive, with his black and gray Batman pajamas on, one pant leg higher than the other. He says with his arms folded, "Mommy, why am I black?"

I could still hear myself clicking away at my keyboard, when what this little four-year-old boy had just asked me caught my complete attention. My eyebrows raised and I stopped what I was doing. I looked at him. And we were both looking at each other. I sat straight up in my chair and said, "Baby, why do you ask me that?"

"Well, Mommy, my friend at day care said white is better than black. He said his daddy told him so. So I wanna know why God made me black?" At this moment I could feel the anger slowly overcoming me. However, I stopped it in its tracks. I looked at my son, and I just shook my head as I took hold of his little hands.

"Baby, white is not better than black, and black is not better than white. We all are the same, just with different colors. Like your box of crayons, there are a lot of different colors but they are all in the same box. God wanted to make different colors of people. So he did. He didn't want to make everybody the same color because that would be boring. Don't listen to everything everybody says. Some people may not like others because they are a different color, but that's mean and that's not right. God loves us all. Nobody is better than anybody else. Even our hands, we all have different colors. This is a good thing, not a bad thing."

I stopped there, just to see what his reaction was. He looked at me with his eyes still big, and he said, "Okay, Mommy, nobody's better than anybody else. God likes black people and God likes me. Okay, Mommy." He started to leave, then he came back. "So is that why Elmo is red, and the Cookie Monster is blue and Kermit the Frog is green?"

I smiled at him, "Yes, that is why." What could I say to that sort of reasoning?
Hours later that same day, I went into my son's room to see what he was doing. He was very quiet, which was not usual at all. What I found left me speechless, to say the least. My emotions were mixed between, should I get mad? or should I compliment him on getting the point?

My son had drawn different colored hands all over his wall - red, blue, green, brown, orange. . . . I looked at the wall, keeping my emotions balanced, because I knew it had to be cleaned sooner or later. My son had never drawn on his wall before. Okay, on his dresser drawer, but not his wall. As I stood there looking at these little small hands all over his bedroom, he tapped me on my side. From behind his back my son pulled out two pieces of paper. One was black construction paper with a lot of little white hands on it, and another sheet of paper was white with a lot of little black hands on it.

My son said, "Look, Mommy! Look what I drew. Look at my two papers. I wanna take them to my day care tomorrow and show my teacher and friend." "That's good, baby, you do that. I like your two papers," I answered, leaving the wall out of it, still in shock and not yet sure how to handle it. "I like them, too. I have to teach my friend and his daddy the truth."

I watched him as he went over to his little backpack and proudly stuffed the two papers inside. I shook my head laughing to myself as I walked back into my bedroom thinking, Kids are so smart. My baby is so smart. Why not, I'll let those hands sit on his wall, just a few days longer. I thought about what happened for the rest of the day. Another job well done as a single black mother, I thought.